Life is a terminal disease....
....and it's sexually transmitted.
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they don’t have to be put down.
He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
What's the difference between a filthy Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean.
What’s the difference between an old Greyhound terminal, and a lobster with 36DD breasts?
One’s a dusty bus station & the other is a busty crustacean!
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
I told my parents I had a terminal illness and they freaked out.
Since when is getting a headache at the airport such a big deal?
What terminal illness can you get from ear rape
We were at the airport and they put us on a bus to move us to a different terminal and my dad yells “this is a funny looking airplane”
My dad, type 2 diabetic, after 11 months of suffering chemo/radiation treatment for pancreatic cancer, 5 months after he was told the surgery failed and it was terminal. Brother reads off the back of a Sweet'N Low packet "...been determined to cause cancer to laboratory animals" Dad snaps back
"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."
Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.
They said it was grounds for termination.
How does an Italian Terminator say goodbye?
What do you call a missing Terminator actor?
What would the terminator be called after his retirement?
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal.
How do you catch a flying Terminator?
What do you get when you cross a chicken with The Terminator?
Where did the Terminator find toilet paper?
I asked the guy in the store where is the terminator dvd ...
He responded, “Aisle B, Back”
Edit: wow first silver!!!! Thank you 🙏🏾 anonymous Redditor!
Edit2: my wife doesn’t use reddit. She’s thoroughly enjoying the responses to the joke in the joke jar she created for me and the silver (“whatever those are”). Happy Father’s!
Edit3: https://imgur.com/gallery/5G25Flw wife got me a nice gift 🎁
What are terminators called when they retire?
My company has a team of 5 people to tell someone they've been terminated...
Where did the patient stay?
Why did the terminator kill people even after retirement?
I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.
She said "Aisle B, back".
Why is The Terminator bullet proof?
Because he’s Armored Schwarzenegger
What did the Terminator say to Mozart?
What did the Terminator say when he decided to become a composer?
I was talking to my girlfriend only to hear that she had never seen the Terminator.
Now they call me the ex-terminator.
I caught the flu at an airport once.
It was a terminal illness.
(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)
Why do you have to be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?
You have to be careful that you don’t step in a poodle.
After Arnie's last Terminator film, he became even more lethal
Did you hear about the computer that caught a virus?
What do you call someone that cancels your appointment?
I asked my boss to donate to support Asian children with terminal illnesses.
He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
What's the difference between a old London bus terminal and a lobster with 36DD breasts?
Ones a crusty bus station and the others a busty crustacean
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
He pastaway.
Cannoli do so much.
Now hes just a pizza history.
What's the difference between an old bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal
Where did the terminator find toilet paper?
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
I think it may be terminal
Where did the terminator find toilet paper?
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it terminal
What does an Italian terminator say
What did the Terminator say when asked about which composer he'd be for Halloween?
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