What's the difference between a filthy Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean.
What’s the difference between an old Greyhound terminal, and a lobster with 36DD breasts?
One’s a dusty bus station & the other is a busty crustacean!
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
We were at the airport and they put us on a bus to move us to a different terminal and my dad yells “this is a funny looking airplane”
My dad, type 2 diabetic, after 11 months of suffering chemo/radiation treatment for pancreatic cancer, 5 months after he was told the surgery failed and it was terminal. Brother reads off the back of a Sweet'N Low packet "...been determined to cause cancer to laboratory animals" Dad snaps back
"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."
Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.
What would the terminator be called after his retirement?
What do you get when you cross a chicken with The Terminator?
Where did the Terminator find toilet paper?
I asked the guy in the store where is the terminator dvd ...
He responded, “Aisle B, Back”
Edit: wow first silver!!!! Thank you 🙏🏾 anonymous Redditor!
Edit2: my wife doesn’t use reddit. She’s thoroughly enjoying the responses to the joke in the joke jar she created for me and the silver (“whatever those are”). Happy Father’s!
Edit3: https://imgur.com/gallery/5G25Flw wife got me a nice gift 🎁
Why did the terminator kill people even after retirement?
Damn girl, is your posterior an analogy for a disgruntled employee that refuses to leave the premises after being asked to voluntarily terminate?
Because your ass just won't quit.
EDIT: you clicked knowing what the punchline was going to be... so that's on you.
I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.
She said "Aisle B, back".
Why is The Terminator bullet proof?
Because he’s Armored Schwarzenegger
What did the Terminator say to Mozart?
What did the Terminator say when he decided to become a composer?
I was talking to my girlfriend only to hear that she had never seen the Terminator.
Now they call me the ex-terminator.
What was the terminator called when he decided to postpone his mission?
I'm going to an Italian restaurant with The Terminator...
I can't decide between pasta or pizza, baby.
Did you know that in the last stages of a Terminator's lifetime it becomes so weak that it is only capable of killing small animals?
At that point it is fired and becomes an ex-Terminator.
The Terminator's side job
All this time The Terminator was just have PTSD episodes from working retail
I had a friend who kept telling airport jokes as he got sicker and sicker from Covid-19
He eventually died. I guess the condition was terminal.
Looking at a Terminix truck, the IX at the end are the roman numerals for the number nine...
Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. “We’ll do you one better than terminate, we’ll termiNINE”.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
The doctor says it's terminal.
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.
The doctor said it was terminal
Coffee Joke
So at work this morning I opened up a new can of coffee grounds and thought “If I spilled this on the floor...would that be grounds for termination?” 😆
I’ve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...
The doctor says it’s terminal
Why didn't the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10 yet?
When I asked him he said
"I still love vista baby"
After watching the new Terminator...
I quoted part of the movie in front of my family "What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it?? Irrelevant!". Not sure if that counts, but I laughed and they groaned, that's usually how they go, right??
Actual joke (?) from my dad.
Me: the actors who played anakin, emperor palpatine, and darth vader came to meet and kid with a terminal illness recently.
Dad: You'd think that Hayden Christiensen would've thought the kid had suffered enough.
What's the difference between a old London bus terminal and a lobster with 36DD breasts?
Ones a crusty bus station and the others a busty crustacean
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
He pastaway.
Cannoli do so much.
Now hes just a pizza history.
What's the difference between an old bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
Where did the terminator find toilet paper?
Where did the terminator find toilet paper?
What did the Terminator say when asked about which composer he'd be for Halloween?
I asked the guy in the video store where they keep their Terminator DVDs
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
The doctor says it's terminal
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