If Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII was involved with politics, heβd be a republican.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
The final potatoes
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︎ Jul 05 2020
There are two possibilities for words that mean "final part" or "smaller amount".
The possibilities are: end, less.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
What did Jesus the Interior Decorator say in his final moments?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
The origami semi-finals are airing soon.
You can watch it on Paperview
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Did you hear the one about the Mexican Magician? He announced to his audience: "For my final illusion, I will make myself vanish on the count of threeβ¦"
"β¦ UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.
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︎ May 27 2020
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
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︎ Sep 19 2020
A man takes his seat at a football world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.
MAN: "Who would ever miss the world cup final?"
GUY: "That was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."
MAN: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"
GUY: "No...They are all at her Funeral!"
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Van Gogh's final resting state was in...
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Genie: What is your final wish? Boy: I wish I were you.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
My sarcastic teacher handed back my final exam..
I was told I was intelligenβt
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︎ Jun 14 2020
A Spanish magician prepares the audience for his final trick...
He yells "UNO!"
The crowd falls silent in anticipation.
"DOS!"
Everyone's eyes are wide, laser focused on the preformer.
Then, the magician vanishes... without a tres.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Today I learned I will assume my final form and will he becoming a dad in December.
Probably name my kid Luke so I can remind him who I am for the rest of eternity.
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︎ Apr 14 2020
I've never lost a World Series finals.
Never lost a boxing match against Muhammed Ali either. Also never lost a single game in the NBA Finale.
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︎ May 25 2020
For my English final, I had to compose a lyric poem marked by exaltation of feeling and style, varying length of line, and complexity of stanza forms.
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︎ May 25 2020
I happily hummed as I attached the final arm to my dead girlfriends torso...
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︎ May 23 2020
The final four letters in the word βqueueβ arenβt silent...
Theyβre just waiting their turn...
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︎ May 21 2018
Final fantasy dad jokes 101:
Gladio: dog sure can track a scent
Ignis: certainly nose how to find us
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︎ Feb 17 2020
Did you see the final episode of that new Netflix series about the dude who couldn't stop buying himself gifts!?
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︎ Apr 02 2020
The headline writer for this article had waited years for this moment. Though it is rumoured his final idea came to him on the tube...
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englandβ¦
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︎ Jan 12 2020
I was at a concert of which a Scandinavian woman was playing on stage, one of my friends turns to me and remarks βI wonder if sheβs from Swedenβ another friend says βmaybe Norway?β My final friend asks βdo you thinks sheβs Finnish?β
I boastfully reply βI fucking hope not sheβs only been on five minutesβ
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Trump has just issued Boris Johnson a final warning about allowing Chinese technology in their phone system
He told him "it's my way or the Huawei"
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Why did Rudolph get in trouble for his final report card marks?
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︎ Dec 23 2019
[OC] The Final, Most Essential Command
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︎ Sep 01 2019
The Final Frontier is damper than I expected.
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︎ Jul 26 2019
The teacher called me out in front of the whole class for cheating on the final and took away my A+.
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︎ Jan 14 2019
So I hear they're coming out with another sequel to Undertale, but this time, the final boss is an extinct giant shark.
His boss battle theme will be called Megalodonia.
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︎ Nov 21 2019
Hhahahahaha this was on my final i am funny
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︎ Jun 12 2019
What did the dying spice merchant say to his final customer?
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︎ Oct 31 2019
Everytime I open a bag of M&Ms it's like the final question in a round of Mastermind...
.... I've started, so I'll finish.
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︎ Oct 12 2019
I just took off my backpack after my very last college final.
Boy, was that a weight off my shoulders.
Edit: I actually am finally about to graduate, so Iβm happy even if you donβt like my joke!
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︎ May 06 2019
I'm in the Masterchef Final
The steaks have never been higher
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︎ Oct 13 2019
I got another letter from a lawyer today that read final notice!
I'm glad he won't be bothering me anymore!
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︎ Sep 03 2019
My Great Uncle's Final Words
My great uncle just passed on Sunday. The family had known for a few days it was near the end. His family gathered around him on his death bed, with some flying in from other states to say their goodbyes.
"Dad," says his daughter, "[Grandson] flew in from San Francisco just to see you."
My great uncle woke up for moment and said, "Boy, his arms must be tired."
Those were his last words.
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︎ Dec 20 2018
Did you hear about the final round of the Artist Competition?
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︎ Aug 28 2019
A respiratory therapist is on his death bed and his wife asks him what his final wishes were...
He replies, "I want to be cremated, there will be no coffin at my funeral"
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︎ Jun 27 2019
I made it to the final round of the Art Competition, but didnβt win.
It turned out to be a draw.
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︎ Aug 29 2019
What did the death row prisoner request as his final meal?
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︎ Jan 13 2019
For my final exam in piloting school, they had me fly a shipment of paint to its destination.
I passed with flying colors.
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︎ May 31 2019
Figured you guys might enjoy my final Inktober drawing!
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︎ Oct 31 2018
After all the final season backlash, how did D&D get off the Game of Thrones highway?
They took Daenerys exit..
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︎ Jun 20 2019
Every year on New Year's Eve, when everyone's counting down the final 10 seconds to ring in the new year, I get up off the couch and stand up. I stand up and raise my left leg and just leave it raised for a little while until the countdown finishes and midnight strikes
that way I always start the new year off on the right foot
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︎ Nov 30 2018
I submitted 10 puns to a joke writing competition to see if any of them made to the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
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︎ Mar 31 2018
Genie: What is your final wish? Boy: I wish I were you.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
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︎ Nov 15 2019
Genie: What is your final wish?
Boy: I wish I were you.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
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︎ Oct 25 2019
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