I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...

"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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A net loss to the community...

https://preview.redd.it/etjneuh87qe61.jpg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a43ed23f6164c205e69659f2949861fff21d7c0f

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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Do you know how to make a net?

You just sew a bunch of holes together.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Two_Boys_SM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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What kind of net catches metal?

A magnet.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock, a net, and two rackets!

Bad Minton!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."

"That's the goal at least."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.

That's one expensive net

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LupinDaThird777
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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I met my wife on the net

We were both bad trapeze artists

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A pun-net punnet square
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixl8er
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.

Thatβ€˜s a really expensive net!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/okkani
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Son tied a fist toy to my fishing net

I dont get the punchline but he's smiling

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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He knew he'd be pun-ished for his choice. http://explosm.net/comics/3853/
πŸ‘︎ 166
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtDansBedPan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Net fix and chill imgur.com/q3wWcDu
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digdilem
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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What has 4 eyes, 4 legs, 3 beaks and a net?

Four pirates looking for a lost parrot

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Me and my dad went fishing and didn’t lose any gear. However we found a free net.

I guess you could say it was a net gain

Based on a true story

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pancakesnarfer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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If you ever wonder, "what's my net worth?"

I'd guess that it's less than you paid for it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/refward
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Net fix and chill
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pottsie03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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β€ͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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A trapeze artist was performing without a net...

'cuz Annette had called in sick that day.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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What is the definition of β€˜a net’?

Holes tied together with string.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I'm exhausted after running around collecting the first 25 letters of the alphabet in a net...

I need to catch some Zs.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2017
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A fisherman brought in a catch of fish so large it broke his net.

He made a good bit from selling the fish, but unfortunately it was a net loss.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LgomaFxdou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Nothin but net.. gear imgur.com/mxgzgJe
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thilosavage
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
🚨︎ report
figured I'd christen my first graphics tablet with a pun for the net
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/booneruni
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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A fishing boat recently capsized when the fish on one side of the net all swam down. Insurance refused to pay out.

They argued it was an act of cod.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegsAJimbo
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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All this talk of net neutrality has me worried...

How am I supposed to catch fish now?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellzdoms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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Can't believe we lost net neutrality

all thanks to ashit pie

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hog333
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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I heard that Ben bishop isn’t so good in the net

I guess he can only move diagonally

(Courtesy of my dad while watching the Dallas Stars game)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Primusmulti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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In science class we were trying to put up a badminton net and no one seemed to understand how. It’s not like it’s rocket science

It’s Racket science!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InkleDoO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Trapeze artists who plan to remove their safety net...

have intense intents in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bentup85
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Atoms/molecules with a net electric charge?

Ion know about that chief.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xhenryxx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Explosm.net goes highbrow humor today. explosm.net/comics/3616/
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GantMan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
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My Dad: Calm down about this net neutrality thing . . .

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lostinasense
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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Why are net sports the holiest of the sports?

Because each point starts with a service.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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I'm new here so I dunno how this net works.

Fell in love with the wireless at my house. It's like the Wifi never had

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_humourme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
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πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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Do you know why they stopped using the old-style tuna nets?

It defeats the porpoise. http://i.imgur.com/bw1fYaO.jpg

(I'm a dad.)

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwilder204
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2015
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Talking to my dad about ALOHA-NET

I'm currently taking a course in computer communication, and explained some of the history of the internet and networking in general with my parents.

When I got to the part about wireless connections, I mentioned that the first wireless data network was the ALOHA-NET, which was developed on the Hawaii islands.

Dad was quiet for a few seconds, and then said with a smile:

"Is that why it's called HawaiiFi?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeisterKarl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2013
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My coworker to the .net department

A colleague from the .net department came into our department (java) and said, i must have forgotten my coffee here, he picked it up and on his way back to his department a colleague told him that he accidentally took his fish with him

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klaushansen
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend's dad after Costa blocked a shot on net in today's Portugal v USA football match

That Costa them a goal!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Siniroth
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2014
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