Profits Puns

It was a joint operation

I call it meal estate.

Now that's just Insul(t)in'

Big Farmer

Because nun of them are in it for the money.

.."nut for sell"

It’s textbook Economics.

I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean

My Vietnamese is pho profit.

They had a great piss-cal year

Dad: [pointing up at tall trees] “See those trees? Kid: “yeah?” Dad: “How much will you give me if I take off my shoes and jump over them?” Kid: [looking up at the trees] “There’s no way! A billion dollars!!!” Dad: [takes off shoes, puts them on the ground in front of him, jumps over shoes] “Pay up!”

501-C3PO

His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.

All they do is talk about Jesus, you think they would be for-prophet.

I think he’s milking it.

Dad: Patience is a virtue, especially for Hospitals, that’s how they make their money

Me: OH MY GOD!

My father told me this joke while I was in the ER.

Or in other words BI-NGO

My dad was talking about salaries of non profit CEOs.

Me:how much does the Alzheimer's association CEO get paid

Dad: he makes 2.7 million a year.

Dad: but I bet they forgot how much they paid him.

Me:facepalm