My buddy and I used to be Marijuana dealers and we always split our profits evenly between us.

It was a joint operation

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/333iamhalfevil
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Farmer milks his profits from cows

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwampFox525
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I've started buying restaurants and reselling them for a profit

I call it meal estate.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Diabetes medication has a profit margin close to 1000%

Now that's just Insul(t)in'

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Which industry makes the most significant portion of its profits through a cash cow?

Big Farmer

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oceanchimp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are all convents non-profit organizations?

Because nun of them are in it for the money.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JemTAll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
i got a good one..: how did the non-profit sex worker advertise herself??

.."nut for sell"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Drug cartels have been turning to toilet paper instead of narcotics for profits.

I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Your Indian restaurant is naan profit?

My Vietnamese is pho profit.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerofblame
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Jumping for profit

Dad: [pointing up at tall trees] β€œSee those trees? Kid: β€œyeah?” Dad: β€œHow much will you give me if I take off my shoes and jump over them?” Kid: [looking up at the trees] β€œThere’s no way! A billion dollars!!!” Dad: [takes off shoes, puts them on the ground in front of him, jumps over shoes] β€œPay up!”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smartasskicker
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months

They had a great piss-cal year

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthMaster7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new non-profit public service droid?

501-C3PO

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/headexpl0dy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.

His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vandorbelt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Why are churches non-profit organizations?

All they do is talk about Jesus, you think they would be for-prophet.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kanglar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about his low profit margins.

I think he’s milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Profit Margins [x-post] imgur.com/gallery/ydVyXN9
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agisten
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
How hospitals profit

Dad: Patience is a virtue, especially for Hospitals, that’s how they make their money

Me: OH MY GOD!

My father told me this joke while I was in the ER.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abcxyz098
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A financial analyst is a profit prophet
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomtngs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Female monasteries are nun-profit.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zylvian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
🚨︎ report
After some brainstorming, I think I picked a really great name for my band: Lost Profits
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneBaadHombre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
🚨︎ report
If you're a successful web designer, every margin is a profit margin
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyJunkJunk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm doing some data analysis reports for a non profit organization

Or in other words BI-NGO

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHappy317
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Non-Profit Salaries

My dad was talking about salaries of non profit CEOs.

Me:how much does the Alzheimer's association CEO get paid

Dad: he makes 2.7 million a year.

Dad: but I bet they forgot how much they paid him.

Me:facepalm

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awwik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Most Indian restaurants are naan profit.
πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Navin_R_Johnson79
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Most Indian restaurants are naan profit.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
🚨︎ report

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