...does that mean it has a stable economy.
Because business only comes and goes
It’ll be pay as you urn.
Why cant we find good steak? -They are indeed very rare (I apologise)
But his Net income always put me off.
My income is low-er and this maybe my career's financy low-year.
I hope it brings me a stable income.
Because they are on the doughnut call list
Aah, call of beauty guys.
*Roger that *
And then it struck me....
Then discovered I couldn't live on my net income
I work security at a large lab. We have a safety rating of green/yellow/red that we need to ask incoming workers. This occurred today when my co-worker greeted an incoming employee.
Co-worker: “Hello. What kind of work are you doing today? Green, yellow, or red work?”
Employee: “I’m just going to my office to water my plants.”
Me: “That’s definitely green work.”
Co-worker: “Did you have to?”
Me: “Sorry. That joke was low hanging fruit.”
Me: “Guess I’m stacking them up like cord wood today.”
Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie.
Because he's the second income ant
Working with dad today : Dad : 'here's sone earplugs mate. You're only getting two .'
Me: 'thats fine I only have two ears '
Dad :' not everyone has two ears you know , some people have three '
Me : ' like who ? '
Dad :' well captain kirk had one left ear , one right ear , and a final frontier '
And my disappointed face leads him into hysterics haha .
A penny saved, is actually about 1.25 pennies, once you account for Income Tax.
[my dad works for the Canadian tax department (IRS) and he used to always say that when I was a kid. He thought he was very funny. I'm now starting to see the wisdom in that statement.
I'm an incoming freshman for FSU and at my high school, they have the seniors decorate a wall with their name, the logo of the college they're attending, and a little phrase. Making jokes about native americans is a little distasteful, soooo I'm looking for some quality spear puns.
The lawnmower, he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income
The project is income pleat.
I was talking to my dad about Africa, and I jokingly said that they should have some casinos to generate income.
Dad: They can't have any casinos that would stay in business.
Dad: Because of all the cheetahs.
The beef cattle farmer thought it was a silly policy and would greatly reduce his income from selling meat overseas....
The pig farmer disagreed, he thought it was a great opportunity for livestock farmers to benefit from higher profit margins in a strong domestic market with fewer overheads.
Feeling very passionate after a few beers, the beef farmer says to the pig farmer:
“This time in 12 months, the government will have repealed this policy because it’s such a terrible idea... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and they don’t repeal it, I’ll give you my prized cow, Daisy. But if I’m right, and they do repeal it, you have to give me free bacon for a year”.
The pig farmer is confident that the policy will be a success and won’t be repealed. So he says “deal”.
The beef farmer carries on:
“Actually, I think this policy is going to be such a terrible failure that I’ll need to sell half of my cows to stay afloat... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and t... keep reading on reddit ➡
Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.
A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.
A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.
Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.
Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...
What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)
People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.
His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situ... keep reading on reddit ➡
...Since the baby was born I don’t have much disposable income.
Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...
It requires a stable income
So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will... keep reading on reddit ➡
They are probably trying to take advantage of the urned income tax credit
Twice the husband on half the income
I emailed my dad a link to a copycat recipe of KFC's coleslaw, since he frequently tries to replicate it. He's very wary of spam and virus links, so I sent him a text to let him know the email incoming from me was legit, and I got back this gem:
Me: Hey, I just emailed you a link to a copycat recipe for KFC's coleslaw, and I just wanted to give you a heads up that it's not spam.
Dad: No, it's coleslaw.
A man who dubbed himself Britain's biggest idiot after losing his wife after tattooing a comedy penis on his own leg is hoping to win back her heart by having it lasered off.
Hapless Stuart, 34, of Southsea, Hants, inked the six-and-a-half inch member on his left thigh, so the end pokes out of his boxer shorts.
"After I did it, my wife woke up in the morning screaming, because there was this massive penis poking out of the duvet. And the tattoo on my leg.
"It caused no end of rows, and she's now kicked me out of home. I deserve it, I suppose."
My wife was making pancakes and she asked me to get out and warm up some maple syrup. As I started looking around for a receptacle and method to warm it up, she said:
W: Didn't we get a little pourer?
Me: Gosh no, I think our overall income has gone up, why?
Sad Trombone: Sad Trombones.
Dad: Did you hear about the guy who mugged a midget?
Me: No. (Groan incoming)
Dad: Well, he really stooped low!
Recently, Joe has been under the slight suspicion that his wife is cheating on him. So, one day he comes home early from work, to his crap-shoot apartment on the eighth floor, and hears her scurrying around when he enters. Almost as if there's another person in the house. When he calls out her name she hollers back that she just ran into the shower. So he investigates the bedroom and encounters a shocking surprise... a pair of hands dangling from the other side of the window sill! Those of a grown man, hanging on for dear life. Infuriated at the sight of the man who's sleeping with his wife, Joe takes the bedside lamp and starts bashing the guy's fingers until he falls eight stories onto the sidewalk. Only he's still alive, writhing and broken. So Joe hauls the refrigerator from the kitchen out the window, sending it down onto the poor sucker, killing him instantly. Now the hysteria of the moment induces a fatal heart attack and Joe himself, dies. So now, as he's up at the pearly gates... keep reading on reddit ➡