Profit Puns

A list of puns related to "Profit"

Which industry makes the most significant portion of its profits through a cash cow?

Big Farmer

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👤︎ u/oceanchimp
📅︎ Oct 22 2020
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Why are all convents non-profit organizations?

Because nun of them are in it for the money.

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👤︎ u/JemTAll
📅︎ Jul 20 2020
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i got a good one..: how did the non-profit sex worker advertise herself??

.."nut for sell"

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👤︎ u/Banoooooooo
📅︎ Apr 30 2020
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My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.

It’s textbook Economics.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 15 2020
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Drug cartels have been turning to toilet paper instead of narcotics for profits.

I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Apr 01 2020
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Your Indian restaurant is naan profit?

My Vietnamese is pho profit.

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👤︎ u/fingerofblame
📅︎ Feb 09 2017
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A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months

They had a great piss-cal year

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👤︎ u/AnthMaster7
📅︎ Nov 25 2019
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Have you heard about the new non-profit public service droid?

501-C3PO

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👤︎ u/headexpl0dy
📅︎ Oct 23 2019
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Jumping for profit

Dad: [pointing up at tall trees] “See those trees? Kid: “yeah?” Dad: “How much will you give me if I take off my shoes and jump over them?” Kid: [looking up at the trees] “There’s no way! A billion dollars!!!” Dad: [takes off shoes, puts them on the ground in front of him, jumps over shoes] “Pay up!”

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👤︎ u/smartasskicker
📅︎ May 31 2019
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A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.

His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.

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👤︎ u/Vandorbelt
📅︎ Sep 17 2017
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Why are churches non-profit organizations?

All they do is talk about Jesus, you think they would be for-prophet.

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👤︎ u/kanglar
📅︎ Mar 25 2018
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My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about his low profit margins.

I think he’s milking it.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Feb 27 2019
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Profit Margins [x-post] imgur.com/gallery/ydVyXN9
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👤︎ u/agisten
📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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How hospitals profit

Dad: Patience is a virtue, especially for Hospitals, that’s how they make their money

Me: OH MY GOD!

My father told me this joke while I was in the ER.

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👤︎ u/abcxyz098
📅︎ Feb 09 2019
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A financial analyst is a profit prophet
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👤︎ u/Randomtngs
📅︎ Mar 16 2018
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Female monasteries are nun-profit.
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👤︎ u/Zylvian
📅︎ Oct 03 2017
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After some brainstorming, I think I picked a really great name for my band: Lost Profits
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👤︎ u/OneBaadHombre
📅︎ Sep 25 2017
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If you're a successful web designer, every margin is a profit margin
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👤︎ u/JimmyJunkJunk
📅︎ Apr 12 2018
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I'm doing some data analysis reports for a non profit organization

Or in other words BI-NGO

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👤︎ u/BHappy317
📅︎ Mar 26 2017
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Non-Profit Salaries

My dad was talking about salaries of non profit CEOs.

Me:how much does the Alzheimer's association CEO get paid

Dad: he makes 2.7 million a year.

Dad: but I bet they forgot how much they paid him.

Me:facepalm

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👤︎ u/Awwik
📅︎ Nov 26 2015
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Most Indian restaurants are naan profit.
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👤︎ u/Navin_R_Johnson79
📅︎ Mar 12 2018
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Most Indian restaurants are naan profit.
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👤︎ u/RonPalancik
📅︎ Oct 15 2017
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