Times are hard for people on disability benefits....

I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SR21-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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A girl on Tinder told me she wanted to be friends with benefits.

But I don't have health insurance or a retirement plan so I told her I couldn't.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OmeletteAuFromage_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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I like talking to my kids about the benefits of dried grapes.

It's all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrimsonAvenger_ZA
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.

I still think he was selling himself short.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Virtual-Prime
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?

Because without strings attached they just can't play!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/InfiniteElway
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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There's a benefit concert for dolphin conservation at the camping grounds

It's for all in tents and porpoises

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/s7evenofspades
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awareness

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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I think my nose hair are in a friends-with-benefits relationship

No strils attached

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnotherKakkar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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A friend with benefits who bakes bread could be called a cumpanion.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/peckerbrown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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I know people put mud on their faces for various benefits but I saw a sign the other day that said sewage treatment works

But trust me, it doesn’t

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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Nascar pit crews have one very solid benefit

A good retirement plan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
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I don't Cedar benefit...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zman4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2020
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A short essay on the benefits of beating the shit out of each other β€” A satirical essay based on a single, overplayed pun

In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:

  1. Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.

  2. Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.

  3. Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.

Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.

In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a5paperblank
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2020
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What kind of benefits do footwear company employees get?

Sock options

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SwansonsMom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
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BAH fest presentation on the adaptive benefits of dad jokes
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/digoryk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2020
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My friend goes from town to town preaching the health benefits of eating dried grapes every day.

It’s all about raisin awareness l

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2019
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Having two "friends with benefits" doesn't count as cheating, right?

The only one who doesn't see it that way is my wife.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
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As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...

I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2019
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I met a strange man the other day really trying to sell me the health benefits of inhaling helium.

He spoke very highly off it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cockplops
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2018
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Last weekend I attended a benefit for females born with no legs

The place was crawling with women.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/grouchyjarhead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2019
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I've opened a gym, where the instructors would go from door to door, to tell people about the benefits of joining it.

I've named it Jehovah's Fitness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2019
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What are the benefits of looking at a clock?

It passes the time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UncleCohen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
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People don’t realize the benefits of sun-dried grapes..

I’m raisin awareness!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/please_endme
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2019
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Have you heard of the benefit concert to help starving musicians?

They're calling it Band-Aid.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rcflier500
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2018
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I'm changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook.

Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2018
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My two Vietnamese friends recently came to an agreement that benefits everyone.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spokandyland
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2018
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The benefits of simple origami are twofold...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasthetanker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2018
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I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/co…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JustinBilyj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2018
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Do you want to know what the benefit of being Swiss is?

Well the flag's a plus.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ignat980
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2017
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What do angry vegetarians send when they read an article about the benefits of eating meat?

Lettuce to the editor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThisIsMyUserdean
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2016
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I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It’s all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 168
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/__kitten
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2020
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I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awarness

πŸ‘οΈŽ 401
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/B-man44
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2019
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I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It’s all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 276
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes

It’s all about raisin awareness

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hangry_Gunner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2018
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I've been telling people about the benefits of dried grapes.

It's about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 141
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2018
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I've been telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It's all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FarmerGreen13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2019
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