Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time

The spacebar

πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Dad to his son; β€œDo you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”

Son; β€œGo on, then.”

Dad growls; β€œNOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”

Son; β€œThat’s Superman.”

Dad; β€œThanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exmoor456
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

Me: Cats. Cats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 607
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What do you call a murderous clown whos good at investments?

Pennywise

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cresendo77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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How do German bakers say β€œgood bye”?

Gluten tag!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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What do you need to ride on when you say good bye to a king?

A bike. Because you say bye King.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NDK113
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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What do you call a hen that’s good at arithmetic?

A mathamachicken

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ktbugrl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I can’t do good work in Excel without getting compliments,

I really need the validation.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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what do you call a comedian that's not good or bad?

a medijoker

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TenderJuicy57
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Why do claustrophobic people make good employees?

They're good at thinking outside the box.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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What do you call it when a British person takes a good long look at something?

A propaganda

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nshah0703
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Do you know why is it called bad-minton🏸 and not good-minton? β€’ Because it involves "RACKETS"
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sameer_gulzar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?

PunGent

Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I made this video in good humor only... please do not take it as offense in any way, shape, or form!

Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)

As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact I’ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.

Thank you for reading and enjoy!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mosswyatt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Why do marine biologists make good philosophers?

Because they spend their lives search for porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nalydpsycho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"

The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What do you call a good fisherman

Master-baiter

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhanikshetty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?

A shelfie.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kvnhntn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What do you call a horse that’s up to no good?

a neigh’r do well

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeebus_crisps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene?

A flossy raptor.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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My wife got me good and there was nothing I could do

I was playing with our toddler when for whatever reason Humpty Dumpty popped in my head. I started trying to think of a funny rhyme about Dumpty cracking open and being unable to pay for US medical care and thus now lives a pain-addled, poor life. Yeah, idk.

Anyway, I couldn’t think of the original second half of the rhyme and so I asked my wife. She told me the rhyme and I said thanks. After a short silence goes by she goes,

β€œWhat are you doing, trying to think of another lame dad yolk?”

I didn’t know my son had two dads but I know now

Edit: typos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoutTreeeFiddy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What do you call Vietnamese soup that is really, really good?

Pho-nomenal.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/w00tah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Why do electricians make good music ?

They always have an extension chord

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I'm a teacher and I like to do superhero impressions before class to put students in a good mood.

The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:

"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"

"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled

"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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What do you call a cat that's always in a good mood ?

Pawsitive

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skyhighjams
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Why Do Magicians Make Good High School Teachers?

They already know all of the trick questions.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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What do you call a factory that only makes good products?

A satisfactory

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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What do you call houses who have good behavior?

Manors.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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What do you call it when your son has a really good comeback?

Getting sonburned

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdwardDupont
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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What do you call a woman who’s really good at catching fish?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UYScutiPuffJr
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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What do you call the village where Hobbits live that isn’t as good as the Shire but they make really good sloppy joes?

Worcestershire

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinygluesticks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?

The Carroty Kid

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjs1023113
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why pigs make really good cakes?

Cuz they always be bacon

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/excalibron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do FedEx’s reputation and a good dad joke have in common?

It’s all about the delivery man.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forevercha0s
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur that takes good care of his teeth?

A floss-o-raptor

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WheezyDaStarfish
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a good breakfast?

Omelet you know in a little bit

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a good looking tractor?

Attractor

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do pimps make good gardeners

They are used to garden hose

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jordo32
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you want the good news or the bad news?

The bad news is: theres no good news.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?

They have a lot of properties.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no-nope-nay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an insect who’s good in bed?

A slaying mantis

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColaNaught
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Kid: spells 'greet' with an 'a'. "Did I do good on this?"

Dad: "No, you did great!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamrod0
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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A man asks a professor, "Do you think Einstein's theory was good?"

The professor replies. "Relatively."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comforted-2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

β€œA cat” I said. β€œCats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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What do you call a man when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play.

Pungent.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do you call a factory that sells good products?

A satisfactory.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maria_von_Trapp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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