Dad to his son; “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”
Son; “Go on, then.”
Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son; “That’s Superman.”
Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
Do you know why is it called bad-minton🏸 and not good-minton? • Because it involves "RACKETS"
What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent
Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.
I made this video in good humor only... please do not take it as offense in any way, shape, or form!
Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)
As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact I’ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
Why do marine biologists make good philosophers?
Because they spend their lives search for porpoise.
What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?
What do you call a horse that’s up to no good?
What do you call a good fisherman
My wife got me good and there was nothing I could do
I was playing with our toddler when for whatever reason Humpty Dumpty popped in my head. I started trying to think of a funny rhyme about Dumpty cracking open and being unable to pay for US medical care and thus now lives a pain-addled, poor life. Yeah, idk.
Anyway, I couldn’t think of the original second half of the rhyme and so I asked my wife. She told me the rhyme and I said thanks. After a short silence goes by she goes,
“What are you doing, trying to think of another lame dad yolk?”
I didn’t know my son had two dads but I know now
Edit: typos
What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene?
What do you call Vietnamese soup that is really, really good?
What do you call a cat that's always in a good mood ?
Why Do Magicians Make Good High School Teachers?
They already know all of the trick questions.
Why do electricians make good music ?
They always have an extension chord
I'm a teacher and I like to do superhero impressions before class to put students in a good mood.
The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:
"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"
"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled
"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.
What do you call it when your son has a really good comeback?
What do you call a factory that only makes good products?
What do you call houses who have good behavior?
What do you call the village where Hobbits live that isn’t as good as the Shire but they make really good sloppy joes?
What do you call a woman who’s really good at catching fish?
Do you know why pigs make really good cakes?
"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
What do you call a good looking tractor?
What do FedEx’s reputation and a good dad joke have in common?
It’s all about the delivery man.
What do you call a good breakfast?
Omelet you know in a little bit
Do you want the good news or the bad news?
The bad news is: theres no good news.
What do you call a dinosaur that takes good care of his teeth?
Why do pimps make good gardeners
They are used to garden hose
What do you call an insect who’s good in bed?
Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?
They have a lot of properties.
What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?
Kid: spells 'greet' with an 'a'. "Did I do good on this?"
Dad: "No, you did great!"
Sir Good, what do people say to you when you leave in the evening?
A man asks a professor, "Do you think Einstein's theory was good?"
The professor replies. "Relatively."
How do you know when you've had a good Jurassic workout?
How do you know if a joke is good?
It registers on the sighsmograph.
What did the butt do when he heard a really good joke?
If good lawyers know the law, what do great lawyers know?
What do you call someone who wears a black mask and is only kind of good at word play?
Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?
Patient: Good news please.
Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.
What do you call a british person taking a good look at something?
I can never do any good titles
Why do thieves never get a good joke?
They always take things literally.
What do you call a man when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play.
What do you call a factory that sells good products?
Why do electricians make good music ?
They always have an extension chord
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