Encourage Mint.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/L1zzieDash
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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I planted some encourage mint today
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigoldrichard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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I always encourage everyone I know to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that’s just my two scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Here's Your Daily Dose Of Encourage Mint!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gurmehar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
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My ice machine was really cool, so I decided to encourage it... I said, "good job ice machine, you're crushing it."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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I tried to encourage my friend to make more money...

But I guess he didn’t get my incentives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow-Viking
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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How do you encourage a robot lumberjack?

Tell them to "log on."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImDED
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
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My wife encourages me to have a lot of hammers...

We're in a poly-hammerous relationship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shauncheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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I try to encourage my wife to come up with her own mom jokes. So when she asked me to make one up regarding wood, I got a little upset.

"Cedar, that's what I'm talking about. Its not oak-ee doke to take credit for what wood be my joke. Every bodhi has to create their own." I told her. Didn't mean to chop her down like that in hindsight. I hope she still pines after me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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What do you call it when your friends encourage you to eat more fruit?

Pear Pressure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartacats
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2016
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I live in a remote town. We're building a train station to encourage travel to nearby places.

All thanks to a strong local motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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I'm a newlywed and I think my wife's trying to encourage me to be a dad.

Me, trailing from a conversion in progress: "... Sounds like the holocaust"(Said Hole-ih-cost in my accent)

Her: "Holy-caust?"

Me: "Holy-cost. How much does being holy cost?"

Her: "Six million Jews."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/V13Axel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2014
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Whenever my dad encourages me to take risks and try something, he says "Seize the carp!"

My mother freaks out whenever she hears him say that because she hates it and she's sick of it. I think it's hilarious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe_sand
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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Butt encouragement puns!

Hey guys! I need combinations of words for ass and words that mean something in the realm of β€œmaking someone happy”

Context: a friend of mine and I send each other selfies on the toilet and she’s having a shitty day (hah) so I bent over the toilet and stuck my ass in the air and took a picture like my ass was taking a selfie and now I need something punny yet encouraging to say

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyenaKing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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This Sacramento comedy show is basically a pun-themed rap battle

A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.

Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.

I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."

Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capitolpuns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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So encouraging
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brainless_buster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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What did the encouraging girl spirit say to the other ambitious girl spirit?

β€œYou ghost girl!”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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My career counsellor keeps encouraging me to drop out.

Thanks to her, I’m graduating from Sky diving school.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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(with thanks for encouragement from u/sherbert_suspicious): I built a little model sports car car for my snail, and called it an S-car for Snail.

Every where he drove it, people shouted "Look at that S-Car go!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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My friend, who happens to be a female sheep, made a clone of herself and had sex with her clone. My entire friend group was totally disgusted, but I encouraged it, and said...

Ewe do ewe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youtuatoot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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My academic advisor keeps encouraging me to drop out.

Thanks to him, I’m soon graduating from the Sky Diving school.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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I was once encouraged by someone who stole my alcohol.

They really lifted my spirits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastGhost18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"

I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."

My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.

EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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This should meet expectation imgur.com/41NwNiA
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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My daughter called me in a panic and asked, "Dad! My car just broke down! What should I do!?" I replied calmly...

"Whisper it some words of encouragement!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What's the Difference between Driving and Baseball?

In Baseball, hit and runs are encouraged!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Rueben
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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My dad, encouraging me after my water polo match defeat, "Son you are one in a million."

The other six are the Zeroes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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Minty
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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My dad's encouraging words for my first day back to school
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jittlewiggle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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My parents really encouraged me to go to college to get a degree after high school even thought I told them I already had 98.6 of them.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanTellsaStory
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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Looks like October is...

Octover

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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Why did the whisky divorce the glass?

Their marriage was on the rocks!

(Thank you u/VadJag for encouraging me to post this again!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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Si seΓ±or yo soy yo rancho ahhhhhhh
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebjasmeister
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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What do you get if you give a boat drugs?

A speedboat

[Disclaimer]: I don’t encourage the use of drugs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miloklaas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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Thanks for the friendly encouragement dad imgur.com/PAo5xAV
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manofwonder93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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Words of encouragement from dad

Dad(singing):

You can do it

You can do it

You can pick your nose and chew it

(repeat for effect)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sexy_Offender
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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I am really grateful to my math teacher in elementary school who taught us how to subtract numbers.

She really encouraged us to make a difference.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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I'm going to name my son Violence.

If he's smart, I can tell my friends that Violence solves problems.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/micronerd01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
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This might be so old it's new again

A comedian backed by the Mafia was doing a show in New York. In the audience was group of foreign religious leaders, in town for a UN conference. Oddly, that group was very vocal in their heckling of the poor comic. Particularly vociferous was the Hindu leader from India.

Noticing this from offstage, the Mafia Don told one of his thugs to make his way to their section and menacingly "encourage" them that they should "shaddap already".

The thug asked the Don if there was one of the group who should receive... "extra-strength" encouragement. The Don replied "Yes. Weigh down upon the Swami ribber".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SQLDave
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Got my son's surgeon today pretty good.

My infant has a pretty flat head, when I took him to the doctor's office to get a referral for a helmet to shape his head, they asked what his name was.

I told them, "Well, his name is ___, but we like to call him Phillips to encourage him."

I got some truly authentic guffaws, and my dadjoke confidence rose a bit. I feel like I may be getting the hang of this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldraven
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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Dad joked my husband

On the night walk with our 2 pups. One is obsessed with toads and every item on the road is suspiciously inspected. Frequently a leaf is sniffed and nosed to encourage a leap. Tonight, a piece of gravel caught her eye with exuberant tailnub wagging! β€œOh pupper that isn’t sedentary; it’s sedimentary.”

Hope you like it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aimlesskeek
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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A guy signs up for the army and goes to get his equipment after he’s been processed.

When he gets to the place where he’s supposed to pick up his rifle the man tells him thatΒ he just ran out. β€œIf you need to shoot just say β€˜BANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!'” he says. Bummed out and little confused, the guy moves on to the next areaΒ where he’s supposed to pick up the bayonet. But the next man is out too. β€œIf you need to stab someone justΒ go, β€˜STICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!'” he says. Dejected and wondering what the heck he signed up for, the guy jumps into the next truck on its wayΒ to the front where there’s a battle raging on.

Side by side with the rest of the soldiers in his unit, the guy advances on the enemy position. As soon as he sees the enemy, he shouts, β€œBANGITY BANG BANGITY BANG!!” Amazingly, the enemy soldierΒ drops to the ground. Encouraged by his success he charges the next two enemy soldiers and goes, β€œSTICKITY STICK STICKITY STICK!” They both immediately collapse in front of him. This is incredible, he thinks, I’ve become unstoppable.

So when he sees his ne

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lavidius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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My Thanksgiving Confession

Hey guys. As I'm sure most of you know, it's currently Thanksgiving in Canada. This time of year for me has, in the past, caused a lot of issues in my life.

To give a little bit of background on me, I'm usually an extremely healthy and fit guy, as I play high-level sports and have a physically demanding job. However, for much of my life, my willpower began to crumble around this time of year.

I first started taking my diet seriously when I was about 12 years old. I had some kind of realization where like, I dunno, I started looking at how jacked these movie stars were and was all, "wow, I want to be that cool too." Judging by the bowl cut I had when I was 12, my perception of cool may have been a little skewed, but I digress.

Anyhow, it was my first Thanksgiving where everything started falling apart. One of my relative's families ended up no-showing for dinner, so we were left with a load of Thanksgiving leftovers. For the next week, every single meal or snack I had was Thanksgivin

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M3gaC00l
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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