Inspire Puns

Everytime the cashier asks if I have one I reply that it expired!

His sister Chewbacca is less thrilled.

He had loco-motives

Locomotion

and 40% willingness to cheat.

It didn't it got hit by a truck ..

Inspires by another terrific joke...

In your lovers clam!

Inspired by the Jolly Rancher story.

We all knew that at some point, we’d have to discuss the LA font in the room.

It was nothing.

Actually she just sits around, smokes weed all day and never calls me, but a Dad can dream.

Nobody has given me a straight answer

Ex-smelly-arMpits

As inspired by a three year old who couldn't say Expelliarmus - the charm that makes whatever your opponents holding fly out of their hand - usually their wand.

“I live in Spain without the ‘s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the “Bah”.

1. I have a double China without the “a”.

2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the “an”.

3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the “J”.

5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the “Ku”.

6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the “Ne”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the “Den”, of course.

He came, he saw, he conquered

The draw a blank !

-WHO wants you to wash your hands.

-Who does?

-Yes

-Who wants me to wash may hands?

-Yes, WHO wants you to wash your hands and practice social distancing.

-I don't know who. My mom?

Son: "The due date."

Everybody looked up to him

...you could say they’re my SpecialTea.

A man was telling his friend that his neck was sore. His friend asked him, “what happened”? The man said that varmints had been tearing up his yard and that he had been spending hours digging through the dirt trying to repair the damage. His friend says, “go for massage and that should take care of the problem”.

A couple of days pass and the two meet up again. The friend asked the man, “how did it go?” The man says, “well, I have to tell you, they are hard to catch, but once you get ahold of them and get started, those gophers sure seem to like their massage”.

But next year will be 2022

(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )

I just need a very short pun involving space and dinosaurs to go on the cover of an adventure book im writing for kids.

"A roarsome adventure" is too cliche and I'd like space to be featured somewhere. But there isn't a lot of room.

Thanks for any help, don't worry about them being dumb as a dumb pun could inspire a decent one :)

"Type: Radioactive Fallout, 7d6"

I just hope I can afford the Morkage payment.

It's tradition to bring baked goods (typically doughnuts) after you get your security clearance. I never bothered to ask why. I just figured it was a nice thing to do. Then it hit me...

Doughnuts and bagels are granted on a knead-to-dough basis.

A lovely and inspiring man...makes shit cabinets though.

He was honestly just Ed G.

She draws a blank.