His sister Chewbacca is less thrilled.
He had loco-motives
Locomotion
and 40% willingness to cheat.
The draw a blank !
A man was telling his friend that his neck was sore. His friend asked him, “what happened”? The man said that varmints had been tearing up his yard and that he had been spending hours digging through the dirt trying to repair the damage. His friend says, “go for massage and that should take care of the problem”.
A couple of days pass and the two meet up again. The friend asked the man, “how did it go?” The man says, “well, I have to tell you, they are hard to catch, but once you get ahold of them and get started, those gophers sure seem to like their massage”.
He was honestly just Ed G.
Me: why don't Australians make jokes about Chinese food?
Son: :-|
Me: [in Australian accent] because that would be ricest!
Son: :-|
Wife: :-|
Success!
Because they get over every hurdle in their way
Why should you never trust a cell?
Because they make up everything.
I'm 100 percent sure somebody has thought of this before.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2P1H1orxXY
Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.
While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).
I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)
The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."
I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.
Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)
What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"
Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.
I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)
I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".
I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten
... keep reading on reddit ➡-"Knock knock!" -"Who's there?" -"Warren Loveworth." -"Warren Loveworth who?" -"Warrenloveworth eachother!"
My seven year old daughter was jumping on the bed when she clutched her mouth, fell and yelled out, "Dad, I kneed my teeth!"
I replied, "you're right, you do need your teeth, and you will for a long time."
She punched me in the face.
Dad: "Time for bed, kids"
Kids: "Throw us in bed! Throw us in bed!"
(Dad picks a kid up in his arms)
Dad: "Did I ever tell you about the three men in the book of Daniel who were thrown into the fiery furnace?"
Kids: "No!"
Dad: "Their names were... Shadrach... Meshach... and ToBedYouGo!
(tosses squealing kid through the air, onto the bed)
She draws a blank.
