that was a very creative pun btw
đź‘Ť︎ 97
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👤︎ u/ahmed0112
đź“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Creative puns on dadjokes! reddit.com/gallery/l6daoe
đź‘Ť︎ 40
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👤︎ u/DamnHotBananas
đź“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Creative/Pun Team names Thread

Comment down some creative and humourous team names so that we all can have a good laugh

đź‘Ť︎ 3
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👤︎ u/RiCEKiLLER420
đź“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Remember in MW2 when titles and emblems were all creative puns and at least were interesting

Really drives home that all of these "stickers" are really just filler.

đź‘Ť︎ 471
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👤︎ u/47zombies
đź“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Some creative puns at simple's twitter post
đź‘Ť︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/Rautioo
đź“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Creative pun here
đź‘Ť︎ 196
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đź“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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Some creative puns
đź‘Ť︎ 13
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👤︎ u/Soupking3
đź“…︎ May 02 2020
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What are some creative puns for a dessert Kabob Food Truck?
đź‘Ť︎ 2
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👤︎ u/FuturechefColin13
đź“…︎ Jul 03 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the most creative pun you can come up with/have heard before?
đź‘Ť︎ 2
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👤︎ u/alnacaju
đź“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Reply to this tweet with your most creative pun using #ELECTRIFY and #OMG as keywords! twitter.com/ElectrifyAsia…
đź‘Ť︎ 25
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👤︎ u/ishallperishx
đź“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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Such creative puns /s (Cringe-a-Day #187)
đź‘Ť︎ 5
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👤︎ u/DerpynessWhale
đź“…︎ Dec 11 2015
🚨︎ report
One of my more creative puns imgur.com/TxnINNT
đź‘Ť︎ 18
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👤︎ u/Diasostis
đź“…︎ Dec 01 2017
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When people try to think of creative pun names, when the best one is in already in canon.
đź‘Ť︎ 17
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👤︎ u/EvanthePanda
đź“…︎ Feb 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Tried to get her to Fall for me by using some creative puns...
đź‘Ť︎ 120
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👤︎ u/IDontLikeChoices
đź“…︎ Jun 25 2017
🚨︎ report
CREATIVE PUN MAKING HELP PLEASE

I’m going to get my fiancé Air Pods for Valentine’s Day but i want to put some kind of corny maybe punny if possible “joke” with it. I can’t think of anything .. any suggestions ??

đź‘Ť︎ 4
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👤︎ u/Angeluh08
đź“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
[Request] I need a name for a creative production company that makes film and music. Something that has to do with windfall or that has to do with a sudden large ammount of weath upon them. Creative puns welcome
đź‘Ť︎ 2
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👤︎ u/DorgeFarlin
đź“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Need help with puns.

So I have an english speaking DnD group and it’s not my native language so I have a hard time coming up with creative puns.

Next month we will have an adventure where they will all be turned into sushi’s. Do you have any puns for Paladin sushi’s or wizard sushi’s or any other class BUT that person is also a sushi?

đź‘Ť︎ 5
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👤︎ u/RobertCutter
đź“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Eurovision Food, 2021 Edition

So I always try to serve some "Eurovision food" to the people that are watching Eurovision with me. This year, of course, will be a smaller party (4 or even less) with covid and all, but that shouldn't diminish my creative pun brain... Feel free to steal my ideas. I tend to think of things that are easy to make and/or can be deep-fried or can be put in the oven, or can be served cold.

I also try make some images and print them out to put on my table to make it clear what I'm serving and how it is Eurovision related. Some examples of ESC 2019.

Ideas for ESC 2021 (by the way: it's not the point to make a coherent meal or something, as you'll notice):

- SHUM Magnum - Chernobyl Melt Down (ice cream, Magnum brand).

- Tusse Tosti's - a.k.a. Tusseties with A Million Calories ("tosti" is a typical Dutch word for what we in Belgium or France call a "croque monsieur", which is basically a grilled cheese and ham sandwich).

- Hooverphonic Gin & Tonic - Yes, I ám A Marketing Genius

- Lesley Royco Soup - Sponsored by Roy, CEO of Royco (Royco is a brand of cup-a-soup, but I'll probably prepare a fresh batch of soup).

- Efendi's Mata Hari Calamari - Ca-la-la-la La-Mari! (fried squid, popular in the mediterranean area).- Something which has sticks in its name, like bread sticks or fish sticks or whatever. Then I can change the name to (for example) bread sTIX or even bread sTYX (I thought the river styx and Fallen Angel would be a nice double layer).

- I'm on the fence with the next idea because it can take too much time and I still want to enjoy the show as well: Set Me Frietjes with El Diabloempia - The Israeli-Cypriot mash-up! ("frietjes" is Dutch for fries and "loempia"/lumpia is a spring roll).

- If you have time to prepare, you could make some pasta El Diáblo.

If you got some ideas of your own, please share yours for other redditors here. :)

đź‘Ť︎ 11
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👤︎ u/ko_dec
đź“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 127
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👤︎ u/great_gape
đź“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
đź“ť Game: Pokemon Names

Hi, everyone!

Pokemon is one of the biggest brands in the world, and with good reason. It's got so many marketable creatures and characters and games and shows that you can't go anywhere without seeing them.

Pokemon is of course a series of RPG games where you train various monsters called Pokemon and battle different trainers in a turn-based combat system. These creatures are are typically based on real-life animals, objects, and phenomena and often take on very creative pun-based names.

For exmaple, let's look at this Pokemon. In English, it's called an Exeggcute. Why? Because it's it's a combination of the word "execute" (to kill), "egg" (what they look like), and "cute" (a more-or-less accurate description of them).

What about this one? This one's called a Bisharp--it's a combination of the word "bishop" (a piece used in chess) and "sharp" (referring to its various blades and spikes).

So for our game today, I have some choices that you can do:

  • Look up a random Pokemon in your native language and explain why it's called that.
  • Look up a random Pokemon in English and figure out why it's called that
  • Describe your own creature/monster and give it a catchy pun-based name

You can look up etymologies, or name origins, if you search the specific name in Bulbapedia

Have fun! I look forward to seeing what you come up with!

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👤︎ u/Adam-P-D
đź“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
How do I change the “[x] online” or “[x] members” button t say something creative?

I’m currently working on creating a Chicago the Musical subreddit, and I wanted to the buttons to say “[x] Married Murderesses” for the members and “[x] Reaching for the Gun” for the people online. If anyone could tell me how to make this possible, or are willing to even help me run the subreddit who has more experience than me with running a subreddit and doing the style sheet (and you have to like Chicago) that would be wonderful. Also feel free to comment any other creative puns ;). Thanks!

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👤︎ u/whatisapineapple
đź“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Kato the Arm! S-Tier on the field and off it.

Challenge me on this if you can, Kato the Arm is by far the funniest card. There is no other card who intimated your opponent while empowering you. Literally with support but also with the cheers of the crowd. Draven takes so much work to level up and Crowd favorite relies on weaklings for similar voice lines.

He has it all, Chad body, smoking hot 'friend', 'friend' jokes, is in S-tier deck as of 8/27/2020, Smashes opponents through teamwork, respects enemies with voice lines like, "I apologize to your parents."

Playing

1:Kato: "What time is it?"

Crowd: "Kat-o-clock!"

Analysis: An old joke, an entire crowd yelling it on queue makes it hilarious. Smashes opponent with confidence delivery of awful opponent

2: Kato: "Who gets tossed?"

Crowd: "Everybody!"

Analysis: Destroys enemy morale

3: Kato: "It is me!" Crowd cheers.

Analysis: destroys enemy morale and bolsters allied moral and decision to play the best card

4:Kato: "It is me!"

  • Shiraza: "Wrong side, jackass!"

Analysis: funny and still exudes Chad energy, insult is from 'friend' so it is okay.

Allied

5: Kato: "It is going to be a Kato-strophe! Hahaha..."

Shiraza sighs. "We spoke about this."

Analysis: Another god-level pun, annihilates enemy confidence, Shirazas comment only shows that Kato is a true warrior in puns.

6: Shiraza: "It's killin' time!"

Kato: "Shiraza? What are you doing over there?"

Analysis: loyal to his 'friend' great morals

7: Draven: "Time for the main event."

Kato: "Uh oh..."

Analysis: Draven is a fellow Chad so this voice line defers to that

8: Kato: "Mr. Moneybags! Where is my um..."

Arena Bookie:"Guh-- focus on the fight, Kato!"

Analysis: Funny, builds lore and background, Kato is diverted an it's amusing

9: Crowd Favorite: "I salute you!"

Kato: "Well, thank you bones."

Analysis: Crowd Favorite was talking to the crowd but Kato knows he is the true favorite and who names their child Crowd anyways.

Attack

10:"Punch it, haha!"

Analysis: Not even driving, great actual creative pun, shows he isn't all about just awesome simple ones.

11: "Go time!"

Analysis: it is

Supporting

  • "I give you muscles!"

Analysis: Funny since he can't do that and the continued amusement of his stupidity continues. He's probably aware of this but doesn't have the vocab but really sounds good in-game.

  • "Up top!"

Analysis: You see, he throws people like his 'Friend' to give them power in terms of lore so this is funny as he lift

... keep reading on reddit ➡

đź‘Ť︎ 47
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👤︎ u/Zurchonic
đź“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Hero perks that would be very easy for Epic to add. This would help keep us going during stale periods, like the past few weeks have been.

Step 1: Choose a random BR skin

Step 2: Choose one of these perks

Step 3: Congratulations, you just made a hero that will help keep the game fresh

It shouldn't matter how low the budget is or how small the dev team is, there's not really any excuse not to make these heros real. These are mostly all just changes to numerical values in the code.

I even came up with some creative puns for their names, in true Fortnite style! Please consider implementing these, Epic.

##Perks we need:

🌩️🌩️🌩️

READY...TEDDY...GO!: Decreases cooldown of T.E.D.D.Y by 17%

READY...TEDDY...GO! +: Decreases cooldown of T.E.D.D.Y by 48%

🌩️🌩️🌩️

SUPERSTORM: Increases Shock Tower radius by 45%

SUPERSTORM +: Increases Shock Tower radius by 135%

🌩️🌩️🌩️

AMPED UP: Decreases Shock Tower cooldown by 21%

AMPED UP +: Decreases Shock Tower cooldown by 54%

🌩️🌩️🌩️

DOMINO EFFECT: Increases Seismic Smash distance by 50%

DOMINO EFFECT +: Increases Seismic Smash distance by 150%

🌩️🌩️🌩️

EXTENDED MAGS: Increases duration of Lefty & Righty by 5 seconds

EXTENDED MAGS +: Increases duration of Lefty & Righty by 20 seconds

🌩️🌩️🌩️

FAN THE HAMMER: Decreases cooldown of Goin' Constructor by 30%

FAN THE HAMMER +: Decreases cooldown of Goin' Constructor by 66%

🌩️🌩️🌩️

MAX AMMO: Increases R.O.S.I.E starting ammunition by 75

MAX AMMO +: Increases R.O.S.I.E starting ammunition by 225

🌩️🌩️🌩️

DRAGON SLAYER: Increases Goin' Constructor damage against Mist Monsters by 58%

DRAGON SLAYER +: Increases Goin' Constructor damage against Mist Monsters by 116% and converts damage type to Energy.

🌩️🌩️🌩️

LINGERING CLOUD: Increases Smoke Bomb duration by 3 seconds

LINGERING CLOUD +: Increases Smoke Bomb duration by 9 seconds

🌩️🌩️🌩️

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS: Decreases Dragon Slash cooldown by 20%

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS +: Decreases Dragon Slash cooldown by 50%

🌩️🌩️🌩️

SILENT BUT DEADLY: Increases Smoke Bomb damage by 37.5%

SILENT BUT DEADLY +: Increases Smoke Bomb damage by 112.5%

🌩️🌩️🌩️

HEAVY RAIN: Increases Kunai Storm damage by 55%

HEAVY RAIN +: Increases Kunai Storm damage by 55%. Additionally, Kunai Storm activates a second time immediately after use.

🌩️🌩️🌩️

Those are just what I can think of off the top of my head.

Epic please please please keep this in mind when we complain about a lack of content. These perks are simple but effective, so ther

... keep reading on reddit ➡

đź‘Ť︎ 25
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👤︎ u/LastgenKeemstar
đź“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Which book would you recommend to a translation student? Something challenging, preferably with a lot of puns/jokes and not particularly lengthy.

Hi all, hopefully this kind of post is allowed, let me know if there's anything wrong with it and I'll take it down. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I'm currently living on nothing but caffeine and anxiety and I can't even speak my own language sometimes!

I'm an Italian university student and my translation professor wants us to find a challenging piece of prose/poetry, translate a few pages and then write a short paper with translation strategies, etc.

I've heard that Terry Pratchett's novels are hilarious, filled with creative puns, word-play and jokes, and they proved to be so difficult to render that the Italian translations were extremely unfunny and they gave up at some point. However, I haven't read any of them and I wouldn't even know where to start.

Do you have a favorite book? Are there any particular passages that come to mind? It doesn't necessarily have to be fun, I only need 10 pages or so that will make any translator want to tear their hair out. I would prefer something that isn't excessively long, I love reading but I already have a ton of novels and books to read and study as it is.

Feel free (if it is allowed) to suggest books from other similar authors, and even to recommend Discworld novels that don't fit the requirements, I'd like to come back and get into them for my own reading pleasure, too.

đź‘Ť︎ 3
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👤︎ u/PurpIeDemon
đź“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Plant puns needed

Looking to ask my best friends to become my bridesmaids by using a plant with a creative pun. Needing some help with creative ideas. TIA 💍🌿

đź‘Ť︎ 2
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👤︎ u/kwilladsen
đź“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes are funny

I know most people think dad jokes are stupid, but they're so stupid it's funny.

Like: A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese

Dad jokes are usually just creative puns or simple connections between 2 things that usually no one can think of and that makes it hilarious.

đź‘Ť︎ 556
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/YoungShakeWes
đź“…︎ Dec 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 11k
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Krish_Taylor
đź“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro orders pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 26
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Meow_Kapow
đź“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 57
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/HamlynHoods
đź“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Guys i'm herald under cover I got banned again don't tell the admins

Hello, is this Pizza Hut? Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not. Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah. Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet. Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.***[7:51 PM]***Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style. And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 32
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/UrbexingPA
đź“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro orders pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 4
đź’¬︎
đź“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro on trying to out pizza the hut

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 12
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/chaoticgoodnss
đź“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro ordering Pizza Hut

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 24
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Pixel_Splash_
đź“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza (xpost from r/copypasta)

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 44
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Tech-Support-420
đź“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro orders a pizza

My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions.

First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese.

Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic.

đź‘Ť︎ 2
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/AmazingJAM
đź“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did I do this

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions.

First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza. identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese.

Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic

đź‘Ť︎ 9
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/Holykenobi
đź“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro Pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 4
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/homiehyatt
đź“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
From over on r/reactiongifs

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 2
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/BCantoran
đź“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
hello, is this pizza hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions.

First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese.

Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic.

đź‘Ť︎ 8
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/moninaaa
đź“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro Would Like to Order a Pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions.

First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

đź‘Ť︎ 57
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/garrjones
đź“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
ben shapiro would like to order a pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions.

First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese.

Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic.

Damn it. I’m fucking starving.

đź‘Ť︎ 183
đź’¬︎
👤︎ u/varpaat
đź“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Ben Shapiro Would Like to Order a Pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut?

Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.

Now let’s discuss conditions.

First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.

Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.

Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.

Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.

And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese.

Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic.

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