Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
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There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l8rry394
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
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Did you know you cannot breath through the nose while you're smiling?

Haha, I made you smile.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/osman_uat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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My wife constantly takes my breath away.

She really should wear less perfume.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
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What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?

"Sacramentos."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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llamenting every public breath I take
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πŸ‘€︎ u/formidable-fox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do scientists use to freshen their breath?

Experi-mints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myname69420
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.

In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yougotyolks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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What do you call a Mongolian leader with bad breath?

Gingivitis Khan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henri_Dupont
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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What do houses eat when their breath stinks?

Apart-mints.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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What do cannibals eat for a fresh breath?

Men-toes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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How will you say a person that his breath stinks without hurting his feelings

I am bored let's drink mouthwash.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the workers not comment on the boss' bad breath?

They did not want to step on his hali-toe-sis

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
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Why did the breath freshener turn red and run out of the room?

It had a large amount of embarrass-mint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/airsabe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
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What kind of breath mint can help you get a lot of xoxo?

A Tic Tac Toe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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Gandhi was amazingβ€”fasted every other day, walked barefoot, deep thinker...with bad breath.

it’s true. he was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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The teacher said, "you're ugly and you breath stinks like ass" as he changed my exam grade from A to D.

That was an awfully rude re-mark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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"You're breath-taking"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abbe1891
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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What do you call a strategist with nice breath?

A tictacian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Letheron88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men-toes.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coconutbunch
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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When Moses came down the mountain he noticed his followers had bad breath.

So he gave them the Ten Commandmints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How do scientists get better breath?

Experimints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_noIdentity
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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My friend gave me something for my bad breath.

It mint a lot to me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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What do cannibals ingest to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails Β£1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...

"Once upon a time there was this lobster..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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What do you call bad breath that sneaks up on you?

Ninjavitis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimusStatic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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What does a house take for bad breath?

Apartments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nick85636
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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What's another word for dog breath?

Howlitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deebee1020
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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Why do some pirates have bad breath?

Because not all who plunder have flossed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wankel-engine
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Wife: Did you know that you keep reciting the vowels under your breath whenever you are stressed?

Me: Sometimes. Why?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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You’ve been drinking beer haven’t you? I smell it on your breath.

No, I’ve been eating frogs’ legs...what you smell is the hops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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I was naturally excited to have stumbled upon this sub, the goldmine of dadjokes. Couldn’t wait to use one of it...so one day while I was browsing, my son asked what was I reading? I took a deep breath of absolute euphoria and satisfaction, grinned widely and said, β€œThey r/dadjokes.”

The son said, β€œWhat’s slash dad jokes?” Kids, right!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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What do owls do about bad breath?

Owl-toids

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πŸ‘€︎ u/syntaxbad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Julie Andrews will not endorse that popular vibrant shade of lipstick. She says it breaks too easily and gives her bad breath. Her official statement on this........

The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Take a deep breath
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadow-_-king
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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I told my wife we would go to a island that would take my breath away

Snorkeling was really fun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingLagga
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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What do rulers eat to freshen their breath?

Measure-mints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NOT-2B
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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Did you hear about the time the Candles played the Breaths?

It was a blowout!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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I have a invention! It's a small edible device that would freshen your breath while simultaneously releasing a subtle and soothing A-chord. You would use the device (with the fresh breath and soothing sound) to help increase the effectiveness of apologies.

I call it:

THE A-TONE-MINT!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbeeson
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
🚨︎ report
What does a sick person's morning breath smell like?

Cough-y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RankoBest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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Every time I see a picture of Kim Kardashian, I feel a shortness of breath.

I’m afraid I might be assmatic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Did you hear about the new breast shaped breath freshener?

They are called... supple- mints

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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If you've got dog breath, I think I've found the cure.

Stop eating dogs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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Something took my breath away yesterday

Asthma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoachHSBaseball
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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What can you walk on to freshen your breath?

The pavemint!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TannedCroissant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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Breath of the Wild has just come out, and we need names for our horses. Tell me your best punny horse names!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CourageKitten
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
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My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath....

She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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What kind of mint makes your breath smell worse?

Excrement

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Excel gum's slogan "Excelerate your breath" a pun, that took me over 30 years.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ihavebadreddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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Why do elves have fresh breath?

They eat ornamints.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fancynerrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
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A scientist invented the world's largest flying breath mint

Now he has a tic-tac to ride

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thoren66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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I was asked how long I could hold my breath

"The rest of my life probably"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanotard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
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Would you rather have ice breath or fire breathy

on one hand ice breath would be cool, but on the other hand fire breath is lit

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acryus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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My dog's breath smells like she has been licking the butt of satan...

My wife, to our dog, whose breath stinks: "Your breath smells like you have been licking the butt of satan."

Me: "It was a brimstone job."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMarshalltown
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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It's time to check your breath. imgur.com/gallery/kGErd2M…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albertog72
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2015
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Why was the married frog's breath always so fresh?

He was fond of kermit-mints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ancientvoices
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2017
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I can never trust people with morning breath.

It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/camalirth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2016
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I read an article today about a make-up from Los Angeles that is supposed to stop bad breath.

The headline was, "Super California Lipstick Vexes Halitosis"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/just87d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2017
🚨︎ report
What birds are always out of breath?

Puffins!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dallasw3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dude who could hold his breath for 20 minutes?

Never mind. It's a lung story.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pagiras
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bird who's out of breath?

A Puffin

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lightshoo
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a breath freshener for atheists?

A heretic-tac.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_notfound
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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So we were at hogs breath

And they have a stuffed boars head as you enter the resteraunt.

My father quips to the waiter as we are being seated "That must have been going really fast when it hit the wall."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coldspagheti
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 252
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkRedditBot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cannibals ingest to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a...

Super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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