Why was Thomas the tank engine out of breath?

He was training all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whippymcdumbass
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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What do you call a wizard that walks everywhere barefoot, has poor bone density, and bad breath ?

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/son-of-CRABS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What does a dyslexic war general use for his bad breath?

Guerrilla TicTacs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/southwoodhunter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What do scientists use to freshen their breath?

Experimints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nougat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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My daughter was practicing her flute today, she said at bar 45 she needs to add in a breath mark.

I teared up, after all these years she still doesn't know my name is David.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamilleViolist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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Putting a breath freshener behind bars is...

In-prison-mint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAClef
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What’s Santa’s favourite breath freshener?

Ornamints.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neonpablo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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U took my breath away
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πŸ‘€︎ u/COZYCARD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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I made a 12" piece of breath freshener

I call it the: Measure Mint

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

πŸ‘︎ 395
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Did you know you cannot breath through the nose while you're smiling?

Haha, I made you smile.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/osman_uat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
So Gandhi fasted every day. His body got weaker and weaker. His feet grew incredibly tough from walking barefoot. He was deep into Hindu spirituality. Unfortunately, he had chronic bad breath.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l8rry394
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a scientist do to freshen their breath?

Ex-spearmints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnlong81613
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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When I came in at work this morning, my boss told me my breath smelled like wine.

Ofcourse it does! With my salary I can't afford any Champagne!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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How do drug addicts breath?

CocaINe, cocaOUTe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elemental-Master
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife constantly takes my breath away.

She really should wear less perfume.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.

In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yougotyolks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?

"Sacramentos."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
llamenting every public breath I take
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πŸ‘€︎ u/formidable-fox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do scientists use to freshen their breath?

Experi-mints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myname69420
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do cannibals eat for a fresh breath?

Men-toes

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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What do you call a Mongolian leader with bad breath?

Gingivitis Khan

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henri_Dupont
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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How will you say a person that his breath stinks without hurting his feelings

I am bored let's drink mouthwash.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do houses eat when their breath stinks?

Apart-mints.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the workers not comment on the boss' bad breath?

They did not want to step on his hali-toe-sis

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
"You're breath-taking"
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abbe1891
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men-toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coconutbunch
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the breath freshener turn red and run out of the room?

It had a large amount of embarrass-mint.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/airsabe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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What kind of breath mint can help you get a lot of xoxo?

A Tic Tac Toe

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Gandhi was amazingβ€”fasted every other day, walked barefoot, deep thinker...with bad breath.

it’s true. he was a super-fragile calloused mystic suffering halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cannibals ingest to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The teacher said, "you're ugly and you breath stinks like ass" as he changed my exam grade from A to D.

That was an awfully rude re-mark.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a strategist with nice breath?

A tictacian

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Letheron88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When Moses came down the mountain he noticed his followers had bad breath.

So he gave them the Ten Commandmints

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails Β£1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...

"Once upon a time there was this lobster..."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 253
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkRedditBot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cannibals ingest to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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