Eupnea - Pure Reason Revolution youtube.com/watch?v=IWbWY…
👍︎ 59
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 28 2021
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Nergal's Eupnea - The Devil's Spirit

I don’t know how to put this. Something bad just happened, something awful. Ed is dead. Ed is supposed to be dead. I think… I’m not really sure. All I know is that I saw his burnt ass making an exit out of this shack, somehow... I’m writing this in the case that I wasn’t hallucinating. If I have to get in trouble, so be it. This is way too much.

The bottle is gone; I smashed it out of the shack and set the remains of that fucking poison on fire.

The others are… I don’t know, still huddled in their corners, I’m gonna finish writing this and head out.

It all started with Ed and this drink he brought. He wouldn’t tell anyone where or how he got that thing. The only thing he said is that he had tried it before and that it was a strong one. Edmund Meltzer was a weird fucking dude. He loved occult stuff, like for real. He has all these books and artifacts at his condo. He was really into that shit. We all knew he was a weird man, but we’ve also known for a long time that he’s harmless – well to the people he likes at the very least. All of us knew Ed’s not gonna poison us, so we didn’t question his secrecy about the alcohol, much.

Oh yeah, as a side note, I’m not mentioning any names here because I don’t want the guys to get into any more trouble. If we’re getting entangled with the law, they’ll check our phones, anyway. We’re all part of this WhatsApp group. That’s how you know who was here.

Anyway, after sniffing the contents of the bottle, we’ve all concluded it must be some honeyed something. Like honeyed wine, I guess. Yeah... It didn’t have any labels on it. It was strong, really strong. Even the best drinkers would feel the effects of this alcohol after a shot or two. The thing was strangely pleasant on the taste buds. Like a soda, one that made you light-headed and very agreeable. Ed warned us about not going too far with that spirit. He said if you drink too much, you’ll feel like you’re experiencing a cocaine overdose. That basically means your body will feel as if you’re being roasted alive. While your breathing turns hectic and shallow. Not to mention that your muscles will feel like they’re about to be torn off your bones. Of course, we all said we’d be careful with the damned thing. That all flew out of our heads once the liquid finally had gotten to our heads.

So, after getting drunk on some mystery booze, that bastard, Edmund suggested we try one of his crazy rituals. With all semblance of sense out of the window, we’ve agreed. Obviously, t

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
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Pure Reason Revolution - Eupnea (progressive rock) [2020] deezer.com/plugins/player…
👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 05 2020
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Pure Reason Revolution - Eupnea (progressive rock) [2020] deezer.com/plugins/player…
👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 19 2020
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Pure Reason Revolution - Eupnea (progressive rock) [2020] youtube.com/watch?v=5khMX…
👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Mar 21 2020
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InnerVision - Eupnea soundcloud.com/inner-visi…
👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/perchrb88
📅︎ Apr 28 2016
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

👍︎ 17k
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📅︎ Jan 15 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 02 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

👍︎ 14k
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📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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You've been hit by
👍︎ 6k
💬︎
👤︎ u/mordrathe
📅︎ Jan 20 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

👍︎ 11k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 21 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

👍︎ 20k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

👍︎ 11k
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👤︎ u/Eoussama
📅︎ Jan 17 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

👍︎ 8k
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📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/JhopkinsWA
📅︎ Jan 23 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

👍︎ 7k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 18 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

👍︎ 8k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 19 2022
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No gains
👍︎ 8k
💬︎
👤︎ u/ridi86
📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
👍︎ 5k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Rix27_
📅︎ Jan 21 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

👍︎ 6k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 18 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

👍︎ 11k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 12 2022
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A queen size statement.
👍︎ 4k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

👍︎ 6k
💬︎
👤︎ u/ah1887
📅︎ Jan 20 2022
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 21 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
👍︎ 6k
💬︎
👤︎ u/shampy311
📅︎ Dec 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

👍︎ 5k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 23 2022
🚨︎ report
Nergal's Eupnea

I don’t know how to put this. Something bad just happened, something awful. Ed is dead. Ed is supposed to be dead. I think… I’m not really sure. All I know is that I saw his burnt ass making an exit out of this shack, somehow... I’m writing this in the case that I wasn’t hallucinating. If I have to get in trouble, so be it. This is way too much.

The bottle is gone; I smashed it out of the shack and set the remains of that fucking poison on fire.

The others are… I don’t know, still huddled in their corners, I’m gonna finish writing this and head out.

It all started with Ed and this drink he brought. He wouldn’t tell anyone where or how he got that thing. The only thing he said is that he had tried it before and that it was a strong one. Edmund Meltzer was a weird fucking dude. He loved occult stuff, like for real. He has all these books and artifacts at his condo. He was really into that shit. We all knew he was a weird man, but we’ve also known for a long time that he’s harmless – well to the people he likes at the very least. All of us knew Ed’s not gonna poison us, so we didn’t question his secrecy about the alcohol, much.

Oh yeah, as a side note, I’m not mentioning any names here because I don’t want the guys to get into any more trouble. If we’re getting entangled with the law, they’ll check our phones, anyway. We’re all part of this WhatsApp group. That’s how you know who was here.

Anyway, after sniffing the contents of the bottle, we’ve all concluded it must be some honeyed something. Like honeyed wine, I guess. Yeah... It didn’t have any labels on it. It was strong, really strong. Even the best drinkers would feel the effects of this alcohol after a shot or two. The thing was strangely pleasant on the taste buds. Like a soda, one that made you light-headed and very agreeable. Ed warned us about not going too far with that spirit. He said if you drink too much, you’ll feel like you’re experiencing a cocaine overdose. That basically means your body will feel as if you’re being roasted alive. While your breathing turns hectic and shallow. Not to mention that your muscles will feel like they’re about to be torn off your bones. Of course, we all said we’d be careful with the damned thing. That all flew out of our heads once the liquid finally had gotten to our heads.

So, after getting drunk on some mystery booze, that bastard, Edmund suggested we try one of his crazy rituals. With all semblance of sense out of the window, we’ve agreed. Obviously, t

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Nergal's Eupnea

I don’t know how to put this. Something bad just happened, something awful. Ed is dead. Ed is supposed to be dead. I think… I’m not really sure. All I know is that I saw his burnt ass making an exit out of this shack, somehow... I’m writing this in the case that I wasn’t hallucinating. If I have to get in trouble, so be it. This is way too much.

The bottle is gone; I smashed it out of the shack and set the remains of that fucking poison on fire.

The others are… I don’t know, still huddled in their corners, I’m gonna finish writing this and head out.

It all started with Ed and this drink he brought. He wouldn’t tell anyone where or how he got that thing. The only thing he said is that he had tried it before and that it was a strong one. Edmund Meltzer was a weird fucking dude. He loved occult stuff, like for real. He has all these books and artifacts at his condo. He was really into that shit. We all knew he was a weird man, but we’ve also known for a long time that he’s harmless – well to the people he likes at the very least. All of us knew Ed’s not gonna poison us, so we didn’t question his secrecy about the alcohol, much.

Oh yeah, as a side note, I’m not mentioning any names here because I don’t want the guys to get into any more trouble. If we’re getting entangled with the law, they’ll check our phones, anyway. We’re all part of this WhatsApp group. That’s how you know who was here.

Anyway, after sniffing the contents of the bottle, we’ve all concluded it must be some honeyed something. Like honeyed wine, I guess. Yeah... It didn’t have any labels on it. It was strong, really strong. Even the best drinkers would feel the effects of this alcohol after a shot or two. The thing was strangely pleasant on the taste buds. Like a soda, one that made you light-headed and very agreeable. Ed warned us about not going too far with that spirit. He said if you drink too much, you’ll feel like you’re experiencing a cocaine overdose. That basically means your body will feel as if you’re being roasted alive. While your breathing turns hectic and shallow. Not to mention that your muscles will feel like they’re about to be torn off your bones. Of course, we all said we’d be careful with the damned thing. That all flew out of our heads once the liquid finally had gotten to our heads.

So, after getting drunk on some mystery booze, that bastard, Edmund suggested we try one of his crazy rituals. With all semblance of sense out of the window, we’ve agreed. Obviously, t

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Nergal's Eupnea

I don’t know how to put this. Something bad just happened, something awful. Ed is dead. Ed is supposed to be dead. I think… I’m not really sure. All I know is that I saw his burnt ass making an exit out of this shack, somehow... I’m writing this in the case that I wasn’t hallucinating. If I have to get in trouble, so be it. This is way too much.

The bottle is gone; I smashed it out of the shack and set the remains of that fucking poison on fire.

The others are… I don’t know, still huddled in their corners, I’m gonna finish writing this and head out.

It all started with Ed and this drink he brought. He wouldn’t tell anyone where or how he got that thing. The only thing he said is that he had tried it before and that it was a strong one. Edmund Meltzer was a weird fucking dude. He loved occult stuff, like for real. He has all these books and artifacts at his condo. He was really into that shit. We all knew he was a weird man, but we’ve also known for a long time that he’s harmless – well to the people he likes at the very least. All of us knew Ed’s not gonna poison us, so we didn’t question his secrecy about the alcohol, much.

Oh yeah, as a side note, I’m not mentioning any names here because I don’t want the guys to get into any more trouble. If we’re getting entangled with the law, they’ll check our phones, anyway. We’re all part of this WhatsApp group. That’s how you know who was here.

Anyway, after sniffing the contents of the bottle, we’ve all concluded it must be some honeyed something. Like honeyed wine, I guess. Yeah... It didn’t have any labels on it. It was strong, really strong. Even the best drinkers would feel the effects of this alcohol after a shot or two. The thing was strangely pleasant on the taste buds. Like a soda, one that made you light-headed and very agreeable. Ed warned us about not going too far with that spirit. He said if you drink too much, you’ll feel like you’re experiencing a cocaine overdose. That basically means your body will feel as if you’re being roasted alive. While your breathing turns hectic and shallow. Not to mention that your muscles will feel like they’re about to be torn off your bones. Of course, we all said we’d be careful with the damned thing. That all flew out of our heads once the liquid finally had gotten to our heads.

So, after getting drunk on some mystery booze, that bastard, Edmund suggested we try one of his crazy rituals. With all semblance of sense out of the window, we’ve agreed. Obviously, t

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Nergal's Eupnea

I don’t know how to put this. Something bad just happened, something awful. Ed is dead. Ed is supposed to be dead. I think… I’m not really sure. All I know is that I saw his burnt ass making an exit out of this shack, somehow... I’m writing this in the case that I wasn’t hallucinating. If I have to get in trouble, so be it. This is way too much.

The bottle is gone; I smashed it out of the shack and set the remains of that fucking poison on fire.

The others are… I don’t know, still huddled in their corners, I’m gonna finish writing this and head out.

It all started with Ed and this drink he brought. He wouldn’t tell anyone where or how he got that thing. The only thing he said is that he had tried it before and that it was a strong one. Edmund Meltzer was a weird fucking dude. He loved occult stuff, like for real. He has all these books and artifacts at his condo. He was really into that shit. We all knew he was a weird man, but we’ve also known for a long time that he’s harmless – well to the people he likes at the very least. All of us knew Ed’s not gonna poison us, so we didn’t question his secrecy about the alcohol, much.

Oh yeah, as a side note, I’m not mentioning any names here because I don’t want the guys to get into any more trouble. If we’re getting entangled with the law, they’ll check our phones, anyway. We’re all part of this WhatsApp group. That’s how you know who was here.

Anyway, after sniffing the contents of the bottle, we’ve all concluded it must be some honeyed something. Like honeyed wine, I guess. Yeah... It didn’t have any labels on it. It was strong, really strong. Even the best drinkers would feel the effects of this alcohol after a shot or two. The thing was strangely pleasant on the taste buds. Like a soda, one that made you light-headed and very agreeable. Ed warned us about not going too far with that spirit. He said if you drink too much, you’ll feel like you’re experiencing a cocaine overdose. That basically means your body will feel as if you’re being roasted alive. While your breathing turns hectic and shallow. Not to mention that your muscles will feel like they’re about to be torn off your bones. Of course, we all said we’d be careful with the damned thing. That all flew out of our heads once the liquid finally had gotten to our heads.

So, after getting drunk on some mystery booze, that bastard, Edmund suggested we try one of his crazy rituals. With all semblance of sense out of the window, we’ve agreed. Obviously, t

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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