My Father will be releasing a new brand of giant breath mints later this year. He said it will be named after his children!

"Huge Disapoint Mints!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/glitchygreymatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?

"Sacramentos."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What kind of breath mint can help you get a lot of xoxo?

A Tic Tac Toe

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tyrannosaur85
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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What kind of mint makes your breath smell worse?

Excrement

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mrthatsthat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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A scientist invented the world's largest flying breath mint

Now he has a tic-tac to ride

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Thoren66
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints left for the feet.

He had Tic Tac toes

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chemist612
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iโ€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, โ€œConstipationโ€? Well it doesnโ€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said โ€œNo, doc, itโ€™s dis knee.โ€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donโ€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canโ€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donโ€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canโ€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iโ€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightโ€ฆ 21.

My friend told me, โ€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!โ€ So I said, โ€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!โ€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondโ€ฆ ionic bond. โ€œTaken, not shared.โ€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaโ€™s sleigh cost? $0, itโ€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iโ€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iโ€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatโ€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatโ€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Dadjoked my GF a while ago

My girlfriend put in a couple breath mints and was shocked by how strong they were.

GF: "Wow! My mouth is really cold!"

Me: "Don't get frostbite."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zaraki93
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2014
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