The teacher caught me stirring up trouble in chemistry class...
...so she sent me home with a colloidal suspension.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Nov 09 2020
I like stirring my coffee while it's very hot.
Does that make me a hip stirrer?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jan 27 2020
Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
ποΈ 61
π
οΈ Feb 05 2017
Have you ever wondered why itβs better to shake paint instead of stirring?
Because this way, it will bond better
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Apr 11 2018
What do you call an alligator that always tries to stir up trouble
ποΈ 24
π
οΈ Dec 04 2020
What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?
"It was a wok in the park."
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Sep 14 2020
There was no fork to stir my eggs, and though my wife asked me not to use it for this purpose
It was a whisk I had to take
ποΈ 17
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οΈ Aug 02 2020
My family has been getting stir crazy. So we decided to take our son to the local zoo. Problem is, itβs a small zoo. They only have one animal. Itβs a dog.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Aug 15 2020
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
ποΈ 17k
π
οΈ Sep 15 2020
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
ποΈ 176
π
οΈ Dec 17 2020
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jun 11 2020
My wife got mad when she found me cooking stir fry on our dog.
I don't know why she got mad. She told me to take him for a wok.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Jul 15 2020
I made a cabbage, carrot and corn stir-fry tonight! The recipe called for tilipia, but I put in pork. I realize now that I should have put in chicken, though...
...it's supposed to be a C-food stir-fry.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jul 17 2020
Every Friday for dinner, I make everything deep fried
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Nov 24 2020
What do you call a zombie who stir fries?
ποΈ 64
π
οΈ Dec 18 2019
Why does a chef not cook stir fry for his family ?
He doesn't like bringing his wok home.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Jan 10 2020
What happened to Betty Crocker?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Nov 25 2020
Just finished watching a documentary on how Kool-Aid was made
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ Oct 17 2020
I stole a mixer from the kitchen in work today
It was a whisk i was willing to take
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Oct 14 2020
I asked my chef friend how hard it would be to make a stir-fry in a meadow?
He said it was just a wok in the park
ποΈ 33
π
οΈ Jul 07 2019
Me and my son want everything shaken, not stirred.
ποΈ 22
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οΈ May 17 2019
The True Meaning of Pansexuality
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ Sep 06 2020
This must be the soupervisor
ποΈ 5k
π
οΈ Aug 10 2019
I don't mean to stir the pot, but...
ποΈ 38
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οΈ Nov 26 2018
I rented out a room to two beautiful Chinese Women..
They never complain, they keep to themselves and they always pay their rent on time. The only weird thing is they insist on paying me in stir-fry. But all in all, I guess they're pretty lo mein tenants.
ποΈ 32
π
οΈ Sep 14 2020
I just found out how to burn 2000 calories
I left my brownies in the oven too long
ποΈ 420
π
οΈ May 14 2020
What do you say when you see Bob Marley cooking?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Aug 31 2020
Shaken, not stirred...
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Sep 05 2018
My dad made his first dad joke in a long time
For context: we have a vegetable garden and a dog named Max
During dinner, my mom remarked how her stir fry was made almost entirely out of vegetables from our garden except the eggs, to which my dad said βwell then weβll just have to raise some chickens.β
I reply, βwell what about Max?β, implying that he might attack the chickens.
And without hesitation my dad replies, βwell he canβt lay eggsβ
ποΈ 748
π
οΈ Jun 11 2020
Added a rainbow to my dinner stir fry... I'm trying to eat light.
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Jul 10 2018
Real life dad joke. Yesterday I was cooking a stir fry and added some diced carrots βfor carrot-nessβ, I said.
My daughter who was helping, added some peas, βfor pea-nessβ she said. Then fled laughing.
ποΈ 36
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οΈ Jun 18 2018
My asian friend is pretty popular among his profession of being a chef.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Aug 06 2020
Police Officer: βHow high are you?β
Dad: βNo officer, itβs βHi, how are you?ββ
ποΈ 44
π
οΈ Jul 13 2020
Why did James Bond keep his library book?
Because it was Due Another Day
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Aug 03 2020
Did you hear about the depressed stir-fry?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jul 29 2018
What does Daniel Craig and Sean Connery do in a bar?
ποΈ 24
π
οΈ Jun 04 2020
How do you make trash soup?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Aug 23 2020
I didn't even know what it was called.
ποΈ 89
π
οΈ Jan 27 2020
What did the judge say to the physician cooking multiple dishes at a stir-fry competition when time ran out?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Apr 28 2017
When I graduated culinary school my parents gave me a gold-plated spoon.
It was a stirring tribute.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jul 06 2020
Whatever you do, don't take a, s, r, d and add them to i, r, s, t, and e, and then stir...
That's a recipe for disaster.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Aug 07 2016
A woman asks her husband in the morning regarding breakfast.......
"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"
He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It must be the Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite.
At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"
He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food.
Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"
He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."
"Well," she says: ""Can you now stop and get off me? I'm bloody starving!!".
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jul 18 2020
Making stir fry with my girlfriend
She says: "We need to have a wok at some point".
I responded: "But it's so cold, can't we just drive?"
ποΈ 32
π
οΈ Jan 16 2016
I created a dance called the "hip stir."
You've probably never heard of it.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Jan 21 2017
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jun 27 2013
I just finished watching James Bond
I was shaken, but not stirred.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ May 05 2020
I'm not sure whether to do a stir fry this evening or defrost some fish.
I suppose you could say I'm stuck between a wok and a hard plaice.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jun 22 2015
Twas the night before the and all through the house...
Not a creature was stirring, because somebody stole all the spoons.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Dec 21 2019
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