I was going to study the art of treating the body by rubbing and kneading my wife's body to stimulate circulation...

But then I found out that would be massage-ony.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 19 2020
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Purchasing Viagra is the best way to stimulate the economy
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👤︎ u/Jdabby32
📅︎ Mar 12 2019
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If you stimulate your wit in the right way

you'll have a sarcasm

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👤︎ u/wibble_from_mars
📅︎ Aug 08 2018
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Only government...

Can screw you hard for a whole year before they even stimulate you

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📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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Why was Pavlov's hair soft?

Because he conditioned it

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/philzard224
📅︎ Apr 11 2019
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Get an aquarium for your house.

It helps stimulate positive thinking in your brain because of all the indoor fins.

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👤︎ u/AudioSmoke
📅︎ Dec 23 2019
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I’ve decided that with my stimulus check I’m going to buy a hat, then a shirt, and lastly some pants.

Top down economic stimulation.

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👤︎ u/breaking_linus77
📅︎ Apr 15 2020
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The best joke my dad ever told

My dad is really proud of this one. It's the only joke he's ever told that's been funny enough to make somebody laugh so hard that they spit out of their nose. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for this joke, so let me give you some context first:

He's been in a motorcycle accident (hit and run by an illegal immigrant), and had to have most of his vertebrae fused. They use titanium rods to hold your back from bending, so as you can imagine its kind of a major operation. His doctor prescribed a year (or longer if needed) of massage therapy, which he was thankful for. Twice a week he went in to a small clinic for a few hours at a time, and usually had the same masseuse. Let's call her Marge.

After four months of therapy they of course got to know each other very well. He was always faithful to my mother, but he was good friends with Marge. Their conversations range all the way from baseball to differentials, and everything stays platonic.

Here's where the story begins:

Durin

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Jun 09 2015
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Dadjoked the guy whose kids I babysat a while ago.

When I was in high school, I babysat 2 boys (who at the time of this story, were aged 7 and 10) for some extra cash. One day I was eating dinner with the family when the younger brother said that he couldn't wait to be in the fourth grade like his older brother.

"It's not that great," said the older one. "Once you're in the fourth grade, you have to read a bunch of books for a summer reading log and write a report on one." (In my county, there are mandatory summer assignments, the most common ones are English assignments.)

Their dad said, "Summer projects are good! They help stimulate your brain over the summer! If you don't brush up on your education for those three months, you could lose all of your smartness and never get it back!"

Older brother: "Yeah right. And how did you find that out?"

Me: "Well, they do say that firsthand experience is the best way to learn."

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👤︎ u/lauralola
📅︎ May 03 2014
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Science and Music

Did you know that scientists have proven that Ray Charles's music is more emotionally stimulating than Stevie Wonder's? They conducted a double-blind study.

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👤︎ u/bundleofschtick
📅︎ Sep 14 2014
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