Times are hard for people on disability benefits....

I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SR21-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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A girl on Tinder told me she wanted to be friends with benefits.

But I don't have health insurance or a retirement plan so I told her I couldn't.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I like talking to my kids about the benefits of dried grapes.

It's all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrimsonAvenger_ZA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.

I still think he was selling himself short.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Virtual-Prime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?

Because without strings attached they just can't play!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniteElway
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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There's a benefit concert for dolphin conservation at the camping grounds

It's for all in tents and porpoises

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s7evenofspades
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awareness

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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A friend with benefits who bakes bread could be called a cumpanion.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peckerbrown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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I know people put mud on their faces for various benefits but I saw a sign the other day that said sewage treatment works

But trust me, it doesn’t

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Nascar pit crews have one very solid benefit

A good retirement plan.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I don't Cedar benefit...
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zman4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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A short essay on the benefits of beating the shit out of each other β€” A satirical essay based on a single, overplayed pun

In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:

  1. Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.

  2. Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.

  3. Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.

Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.

In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a5paperblank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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BAH fest presentation on the adaptive benefits of dad jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digoryk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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What kind of benefits do footwear company employees get?

Sock options

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwansonsMom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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My friend goes from town to town preaching the health benefits of eating dried grapes every day.

It’s all about raisin awareness l

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Having two "friends with benefits" doesn't count as cheating, right?

The only one who doesn't see it that way is my wife.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...

I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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I met a strange man the other day really trying to sell me the health benefits of inhaling helium.

He spoke very highly off it.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockplops
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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Last weekend I attended a benefit for females born with no legs

The place was crawling with women.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grouchyjarhead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I've opened a gym, where the instructors would go from door to door, to tell people about the benefits of joining it.

I've named it Jehovah's Fitness.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What are the benefits of looking at a clock?

It passes the time.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleCohen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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People don’t realize the benefits of sun-dried grapes..

I’m raisin awareness!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/please_endme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Have you heard of the benefit concert to help starving musicians?

They're calling it Band-Aid.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rcflier500
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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I'm changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook.

Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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My two Vietnamese friends recently came to an agreement that benefits everyone.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spokandyland
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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The benefits of simple origami are twofold...
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasthetanker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/co…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustinBilyj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you want to know what the benefit of being Swiss is?

Well the flag's a plus.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ignat980
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2017
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What do angry vegetarians send when they read an article about the benefits of eating meat?

Lettuce to the editor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisIsMyUserdean
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2016
🚨︎ report
I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It’s all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__kitten
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awarness

πŸ‘︎ 399
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It’s all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes

It’s all about raisin awareness

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hangry_Gunner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I've been telling people about the benefits of dried grapes.

It's about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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I've been telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It's all about raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarmerGreen13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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