I’m about to share a joke that’ll turn r/dadjokes upside down

sǝʞoɾpɐp/ɹ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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I just bought thousands of shares in a cattle ranch.

Which makes me a major steak holder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"

"But it’s worth a shot!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
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My wife and I share the same sense of humour.

We have to....She doesn't have one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Finally, a place to share this!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNaJoKing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.

After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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I know an ant who's been driving ride shares for a while and just switched to Lyft

...he's ex-Uber-ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fizzmore
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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Finally, a place to share this!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNaJoKing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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It shares border with more states than any other. Missouri loves company.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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"Will those lobsters share their food?"

"No, they're two shellfish."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChangeNew389
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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My gassy little daughter may not share much with ancient Egypt

But they have their toots in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2many_hobbies
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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My wife doesn't share my view that insulting a specific water bird is a good idea.

I think we're going to have to agree to diss a grebe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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I got a pun calendar and thought I would share
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Storeybook_03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?

Asking for a friend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud

For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"

I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural

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πŸ‘€︎ u/proygratoke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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I'd like to share a small victory with you all today

^(victory)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobby_vance
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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I was thinking about this and wanted to share...

this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeatsackKY
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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I was feeling lonely so I bought shares of GameStop stock.

I just wanted some company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Don’t know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didn’t get it(third line)
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatcuTM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatcuTM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Saw this on FB and had to share

A bus full of housewifes going on a picnic, suddenly fell into a river... they all tragically died.

Each husband cried for a week straight, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.

When asked why he missed his wife so much, he replied miserably: β€œMy wife missed the bus!!!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ir9199
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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I wanted to share my joke about the wind....

.....but it's only a draft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I can’t find it on here..

I literally just reddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTzbr00tal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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I'm going to share with you the greatest secret for always being on time

Just WATCH

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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This may have been posted before but it’s to Gouda not to share again
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TotalSnark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Not mine just wanted to share some funny stuff
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Sorry this is a day late, but I made a Christmas Puns advent calendar from QR codes and I wanted to share it with everyone. pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_Ad…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leron4551
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What is it called when you share a joint and it spreads the virus?

Coweed 19

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sakshiiidee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Why did the oister never share her pearls?

She was very shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RunningThing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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My step sister and I share the same dad.

But her birth was a whole wifetime ago

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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I heard that Santa’s workers don’t like to share their toys.

They are very Elfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Two French IT guys have come up with a new system to share files electronically.

It’s a Pierre to Pierre network.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call a clam with a lisp that doesn’t like to share?

Shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/igiveyousensation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Why do crabs never share?

Because they're shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Not amaizeing(kinda corny), but I thought I'd share.
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why wouldn’t the crab share his Halloween candy?

He’s shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I was going to share a joke about sodium on here...

...But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majikthise042
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Why didn’t the baby shrimp want to share his toys?

He was a little shellfish.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?

It’s always nice to have a bit of company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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How do two French guys share files electronically?

Pierre to Pierre network.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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