I’m about to share a joke that’ll turn r/dadjokes upside down
I just bought thousands of shares in a cattle ranch.
Which makes me a major steak holder.
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"
My wife and I share the same sense of humour.
We have to....She doesn't have one.
Finally, a place to share this!
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
I know an ant who's been driving ride shares for a while and just switched to Lyft
Finally, a place to share this!
It shares border with more states than any other. Missouri loves company.
"Will those lobsters share their food?"
"No, they're two shellfish."
My gassy little daughter may not share much with ancient Egypt
But they have their toots in common.
My wife doesn't share my view that insulting a specific water bird is a good idea.
I think we're going to have to agree to diss a grebe.
I got a pun calendar and thought I would share
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud
For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"
I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural
I'd like to share a small victory with you all today
Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
I was thinking about this and wanted to share...
I was feeling lonely so I bought shares of GameStop stock.
I just wanted some company.
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
Don’t know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didn’t get it(third line)
Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Saw this on FB and had to share
A bus full of housewifes going on a picnic, suddenly fell into a river... they all tragically died.
Each husband cried for a week straight, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.
When asked why he missed his wife so much, he replied miserably: “My wife missed the bus!!!”
I wanted to share my joke about the wind....
.....but it's only a draft.
There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I can’t find it on here..
I'm going to share with you the greatest secret for always being on time
This may have been posted before but it’s to Gouda not to share again
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
Not mine just wanted to share some funny stuff
Sorry this is a day late, but I made a Christmas Puns advent calendar from QR codes and I wanted to share it with everyone. pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_Ad…
What is it called when you share a joint and it spreads the virus?
Why did the oister never share her pearls?
My step sister and I share the same dad.
But her birth was a whole wifetime ago
I heard that Santa’s workers don’t like to share their toys.
Two French IT guys have come up with a new system to share files electronically.
It’s a Pierre to Pierre network.
What do you call a clam with a lisp that doesn’t like to share?
Why do crabs never share?
Because they're shellfish.
Not amaizeing(kinda corny), but I thought I'd share.
Why wouldn’t the crab share his Halloween candy?
I was going to share a joke about sodium on here...
...But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."
Why didn’t the baby shrimp want to share his toys?
He was a little shellfish.
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?
It’s always nice to have a bit of company.
How do two French guys share files electronically?
Pierre to Pierre network.