Iβm about to share a joke thatβll turn r/dadjokes upside down
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I just bought thousands of shares in a cattle ranch.
Which makes me a major steak holder.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"
"But itβs worth a shot!"
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︎ Apr 05 2021
My wife and I share the same sense of humour.
We have to....She doesn't have one.
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Finally, a place to share this!
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︎ Apr 02 2021
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
I know an ant who's been driving ride shares for a while and just switched to Lyft
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Finally, a place to share this!
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︎ Apr 02 2021
It shares border with more states than any other. Missouri loves company.
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︎ Mar 19 2021
"Will those lobsters share their food?"
"No, they're two shellfish."
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︎ Apr 12 2021
My gassy little daughter may not share much with ancient Egypt
But they have their toots in common.
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︎ Apr 11 2021
My wife doesn't share my view that insulting a specific water bird is a good idea.
I think we're going to have to agree to diss a grebe.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I got a pun calendar and thought I would share
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︎ Jan 02 2021
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each otherβs jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud
For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"
I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I'd like to share a small victory with you all today
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
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︎ Jan 15 2021
I was thinking about this and wanted to share...
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︎ Feb 21 2021
I was feeling lonely so I bought shares of GameStop stock.
I just wanted some company.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Donβt know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didnβt get it(third line)
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Saw this on FB and had to share
A bus full of housewifes going on a picnic, suddenly fell into a river... they all tragically died.
Each husband cried for a week straight, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.
When asked why he missed his wife so much, he replied miserably: βMy wife missed the bus!!!β
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︎ Jan 24 2021
I wanted to share my joke about the wind....
.....but it's only a draft.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I canβt find it on here..
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I'm going to share with you the greatest secret for always being on time
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︎ Jan 21 2021
This may have been posted before but itβs to Gouda not to share again
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Not mine just wanted to share some funny stuff
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Sorry this is a day late, but I made a Christmas Puns advent calendar from QR codes and I wanted to share it with everyone.
pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_Adβ¦
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What is it called when you share a joint and it spreads the virus?
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Why did the oister never share her pearls?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
My step sister and I share the same dad.
But her birth was a whole wifetime ago
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I heard that Santaβs workers donβt like to share their toys.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Two French IT guys have come up with a new system to share files electronically.
Itβs a Pierre to Pierre network.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What do you call a clam with a lisp that doesnβt like to share?
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Why do crabs never share?
Because they're shellfish.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Not amaizeing(kinda corny), but I thought I'd share.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Why wouldnβt the crab share his Halloween candy?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I was going to share a joke about sodium on here...
...But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."
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︎ Mar 11 2020
Why didnβt the baby shrimp want to share his toys?
He was a little shellfish.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
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︎ Sep 19 2020
If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?
Itβs always nice to have a bit of company.
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︎ Aug 29 2020
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
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︎ Apr 21 2020
How do two French guys share files electronically?
Pierre to Pierre network.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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