My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about his low profit margins.

I think he’s milking it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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Profit Margins [x-post]
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/agisten
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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Asked my son to name a plate margin

He said β€œEurasian”

I replied β€œno I’m white”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/somebadmeme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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If you're a successful web designer, every margin is a profit margin
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyJunkJunk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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Father Margin

Me (reading news): Huh, there must be an large Irish Priest named Margin...

Wife: Why?

Me: I just read "Voters in Ireland back amendment allowing gay marriage by big margin"

Wife: ...

Me: That's going to be one busy priest....

Wife: ... ...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/thorrablot
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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Why was the amplifier salesman able to have such low margins?

He did a volume business

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Auir2blaze
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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I can't believevits not butter
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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I told a joke about fake butter... was marginally funny.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/e6c
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Cable repairman was on my street and asked what time it was.

I told him it’s between 8am and 1pm

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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How do you reduce your butter intake?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheezeturds
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What keeps the red line about an inch from the edge of paper?

Being marginalized

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/gavinwride
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Grocery store dadjoke on the girlfriend...

We were walking down the dairy aisle when...

Gf: "Did I pass the butter?"

Me: "I don't see why you would, I didn't ask for it..."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ‘€︎ u/TapTapBam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2014
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old maths teacher joke

Our teacher used to love that joke - 25 years ago...


A veteran maths teacher on a crap state-paid salary leaves his local mall and heads for his battered old car. When he has nearly reached it, he sees a big, expensive, luxury vehicle pulling into a parking spot nearby, and when the driver gets out he recognises him as one of the stupidest students he ever had.

He approaches him and the two get chating; and it turns out the guy buys and sells specialised cardboard-boxes which companies use to ship delicate goods in.

Finally the teacher says: "You really seem to have done well for yourself. I must admit that I am a bit surprised. Because you never really were all that talented in shool, were you?"

And the guy smiles and answers: "Yes, well, you know, there is not that much too it, really. I buy cardboard boxes for 1 dollar a piece, and I sell them for 4 dollars a piece. And I live off that 3% profit margin."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scrugulus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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a group of crows is a murder.

a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Two livestock farmers were sat in the pub arguing over the government’s upcoming ban on exporting live animals...

The beef cattle farmer thought it was a silly policy and would greatly reduce his income from selling meat overseas....

The pig farmer disagreed, he thought it was a great opportunity for livestock farmers to benefit from higher profit margins in a strong domestic market with fewer overheads.

Feeling very passionate after a few beers, the beef farmer says to the pig farmer:

β€œThis time in 12 months, the government will have repealed this policy because it’s such a terrible idea... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and they don’t repeal it, I’ll give you my prized cow, Daisy. But if I’m right, and they do repeal it, you have to give me free bacon for a year”.

The pig farmer is confident that the policy will be a success and won’t be repealed. So he says β€œdeal”.

The beef farmer carries on:

β€œActually, I think this policy is going to be such a terrible failure that I’ll need to sell half of my cows to stay afloat... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and this policy doesn’t mean I need to sell half my cows, I’ll give you free steaks for a year. But if I’m right, and I do need to sell half my cows, you have to give me your prized boar, pumba”.

The pig farmer is confident that the beef farmer won’t need to sell any cows. So he says β€œdeal”.

12 months pass following the introduction of the live export ban. The government hasn’t repealed the policy, but unfortunately the beef farmer has had to sell most of his cows.

Both farmers reconvene at the pub. The beef farmer says to the pig farmer:

β€œWell, it seems you were right about one thing but wrong about the other...

So... You may have won the cattle, but you’ve lost the boar!”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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Why was Pee Wee's Playhouse such a profitable movie?

The studio had Large Margins

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ‘€︎ u/windblast
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
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What do you call a horror movie about an evil statistician?

"Margin of Terror"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/inf0squit0
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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What d'you call the amount of money a fortune-teller can make in a month, making predictions? [OC]

Her prophet margin!

..Not sorry, I've got to build up my repertoire of original jokes before my daughter's old enough to groan at them.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/HylianHal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2014
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