Son: Do I need to turn out off and on again?
Wife: Just stop hitting the buttons, it's frozen.
Me: No, this is The Secret Life of Pets.
The sweet music of exasperated sighs.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
I was really disappointed when I found out it wasn't a William Shatner biopic.
.. when you can call it ‘Nutflix’ already
Oh wait, that's right. It hasn't come out yet....
...I'll Czech it out
Because they have Njetflix.
Orange is the new black.
It was a great duckumentary.
It was after a 30-day trial.
They’re just optical illusions.
It's called - Hairy Potter.
Police are reporting that it was Baskin-Robbins.
But I don’t want no Scrubs
I'm watching it with her, and halfway through the movie something clicks in my head.
Me: "Holy shit I just got it,this is a bunny cop movie"
ME:" instead of a buddy cop movie"
And then she proceeded to beat me
You can download TP on paper view.
I told her no. I had Stranger Things to watch.
Buddy: Wait, so their idea was, "Your son is the devil, we can fix that with a bone marrow transplant and a virus?"
Me: No, I think they were lying about the retrovirus and just putting holy water and stuff into the marrow to exorcise him. That is my guess because they were just nuns, not real doctors.
Buddy: But, when he was freaking out at the end didn't the nurse say, "The gene therapy would have worked, but he was just too strong!"
Me: Oh yeah, maybe they had some of Jesus's DNA. So, instead of the CRISPR gene they use the CHRISTR gene....
I got an eye roll! No kids yet, but at least I know I can rise to the occasion.
Thank goodness it was only a bad stream
Hes going to star as All Might, All Might, All Might.
It made no cents.
The stock itself will give you enough of a roller coaster ride.
“In this house, I call the shots.”
I just couldn't keep up.
It was a documentary on doing things in moderation.
She's really good at making yolks.
Me: I don't know, baby.. the monster house?
Her: No. That's wrong.
Me: A wolf den?
Her: No. You're wrong, daddy. He and his dad lives (sic?) in a werehouse!
Gotta say, I annoyingly fell for that one.
It hasn’t come out yet.
It's called "Hairy Potter".