I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Do you know how to make a net?
You just sew a bunch of holes together.
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︎ Mar 16 2021
A net loss to the community...
https://preview.redd.it/etjneuh87qe61.jpg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a43ed23f6164c205e69659f2949861fff21d7c0f
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︎ Jan 31 2021
What kind of net catches metal?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock, a net, and two rackets!
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
I met my wife on the net
We were both bad trapeze artists
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︎ Sep 02 2020
A pun-net punnet square
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︎ Jun 03 2020
Son tied a fist toy to my fishing net
I dont get the punchline but he's smiling
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︎ Jun 11 2020
He knew he'd be pun-ished for his choice. http://explosm.net/comics/3853/
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︎ Aug 25 2019
What has 4 eyes, 4 legs, 3 beaks and a net?
Four pirates looking for a lost parrot
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︎ Apr 16 2020
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︎ Oct 26 2018
If you cut a hole in a net....
If you cut a hole in a net, the net has less holes
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Me and my dad went fishing and didnβt lose any gear. However we found a free net.
I guess you could say it was a net gain
Based on a true story
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︎ Jun 05 2020
If you ever wonder, "what's my net worth?"
I'd guess that it's less than you paid for it.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Net fix and chill
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︎ Feb 05 2019
βͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. Itβs like they say:
Not all heroes snare crepes.
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︎ Dec 31 2019
A trapeze artist was performing without a net...
'cuz Annette had called in sick that day.
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︎ Oct 06 2019
What is the definition of βa netβ?
Holes tied together with string.
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︎ Mar 28 2019
I'm exhausted after running around collecting the first 25 letters of the alphabet in a net...
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︎ Mar 25 2017
A fisherman brought in a catch of fish so large it broke his net.
He made a good bit from selling the fish, but unfortunately it was a net loss.
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︎ Feb 24 2019
A fishing boat recently capsized when the fish on one side of the net all swam down. Insurance refused to pay out.
They argued it was an act of cod.
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︎ May 17 2019
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︎ Sep 29 2015
figured I'd christen my first graphics tablet with a pun for the net
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︎ Jul 28 2018
All this talk of net neutrality has me worried...
How am I supposed to catch fish now?
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︎ Jan 01 2018
Can't believe we lost net neutrality
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︎ Dec 16 2017
I heard that Ben bishop isnβt so good in the net
I guess he can only move diagonally
(Courtesy of my dad while watching the Dallas Stars game)
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︎ Jan 18 2019
In science class we were trying to put up a badminton net and no one seemed to understand how. Itβs not like itβs rocket science
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︎ Oct 15 2018
Trapeze artists who plan to remove their safety net...
have intense intents in tents.
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︎ Oct 15 2018
Atoms/molecules with a net electric charge?
Ion know about that chief.
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︎ Dec 17 2018
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︎ Jul 11 2014
My Dad: Calm down about this net neutrality thing . . .
Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
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︎ Jun 15 2018
Why are net sports the holiest of the sports?
Because each point starts with a service.
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︎ Jul 18 2018
I'm new here so I dunno how this net works.
Fell in love with the wireless at my house. It's like the Wifi never had
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︎ Sep 18 2015
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︎ Apr 04 2016
Do you know why they stopped using the old-style tuna nets?
It defeats the porpoise.
http://i.imgur.com/bw1fYaO.jpg
(I'm a dad.)
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︎ Sep 27 2015
Talking to my dad about ALOHA-NET
I'm currently taking a course in computer communication, and explained some of the history of the internet and networking in general with my parents.
When I got to the part about wireless connections, I mentioned that the first wireless data network was the ALOHA-NET, which was developed on the Hawaii islands.
Dad was quiet for a few seconds, and then said with a smile:
"Is that why it's called HawaiiFi?
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︎ Oct 14 2013
My coworker to the .net department
A colleague from the .net department came into our department (java) and said, i must have forgotten my coffee here, he picked it up and on his way back to his department a colleague told him that he accidentally took his fish with him
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︎ May 01 2014
Girlfriend's dad after Costa blocked a shot on net in today's Portugal v USA football match
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︎ Jun 22 2014
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.
Thatβs a really expensive net!
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︎ Aug 28 2020
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