Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......
"Ah still love Vista Baby....."
What do you call two guys hanging from your window?
Tried putting in a new glass window yesterday
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
I went to a warehouse that held replacement keyboard keys. Huge bins overflowing with letters, numbers, function keys, boxes blocking the aisles full of arrows, and Windows and Apple keys. Space bars everywhere!
They were out of Control.
Luckily I found an Escape.
I got Home eventually.
I got caught playing pokémon go outside my crush’s bedroom window and they asked me what I wanted
My bedroom window is East facing so I bought black out curtains to keep the sunlight out.
The difference is like night and day.
You should be careful when you have a window of opportunity.
They're a pane to replace
I just fell fell out of a window and broke my leg
It’s not going tibia ok for a while
My house has one really big window.
It's a huge pane to clean.
Real story: I was talking to the Waitress at a breakfast restaurant where a Jeep wheel had just blown out the front window.
I told her she looked exhausted. When you start your day like that you’re tired all day.
What’s another name for a tired window shade?
This pun is so painful maybe that's why it's on a window pane
The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing
I used to wonder why microsoft skipped windows 9
But I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, years back, Microsoft published ms-DOS without ever releasing an ms-UNO
What did Donatello and Raphael throw out their office window?
The shredder. They fought with it too much.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window.
A pigeon just flew right into it.
How do you soundproof windows?
You give them the silent treatment
Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...
Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
I looked out of the window and my dad was slumped over the lawnmower
crying his eyes out. I said to my mum "what's up with him?"
She said "he's just going through a rough patch".
Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
My donkey keeps eating the glass out of my window.
It’s a real pane in the ass.
Why did the old man throw his clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Window installer
Never get in a fight with a window installer
They'll bring the pane!
Why are windows bad quiz masters?
They always reveal the answer
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.
I said to myself, that’s a little condescending
I can't recycle a broken window with regular glass bottles in my town.
A Russian named Rudolph looked out of his window one day and told his wife not to go out without an umbrella. His wife asked ”What makes you say that”?
He replied ”Rudolph the red knows rain dear”.
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night
The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.
Why don't people like replacing the glass in windows?
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didn’t realize they were pane killers.
When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?
He said,” All I felt was pane.”
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...
Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
What did the Apple OS say to the Windows OS when it wanted to merge?
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
Why is there no Windows 9?
Why did the window inspector quit his job?
What do you call two guys on a window?
What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife.
"How could you possibly know that?" She asked.
He simply replied,
"Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.
He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"
"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
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