Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......

"Ah still love Vista Baby....."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipoointhepool
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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What do you call two guys hanging from your window?

Curt and Rod

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPapaChuck73
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Tried putting in a new glass window yesterday

It was a real pane

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ibbybibby00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"

I said, "Window or you'll do what?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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I went to a warehouse that held replacement keyboard keys. Huge bins overflowing with letters, numbers, function keys, boxes blocking the aisles full of arrows, and Windows and Apple keys. Space bars everywhere!

They were out of Control.

Luckily I found an Escape.

I got Home eventually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phelyan
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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I got caught playing pokΓ©mon go outside my crush’s bedroom window and they asked me what I wanted

pikachu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/than-q
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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My bedroom window is East facing so I bought black out curtains to keep the sunlight out.

The difference is like night and day.

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πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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You should be careful when you have a window of opportunity.

They're a pane to replace

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epic_null
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I just fell fell out of a window and broke my leg

It’s not going tibia ok for a while

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolhandhutch
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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My house has one really big window.

It's a huge pane to clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2040009
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Real story: I was talking to the Waitress at a breakfast restaurant where a Jeep wheel had just blown out the front window.

I told her she looked exhausted. When you start your day like that you’re tired all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyNow646
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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What’s another name for a tired window shade?

A yawning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nofomo2
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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This pun is so painful maybe that's why it's on a window pane
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession

He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YayGettel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I used to wonder why microsoft skipped windows 9

But I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, years back, Microsoft published ms-DOS without ever releasing an ms-UNO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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What did Donatello and Raphael throw out their office window?

The shredder. They fought with it too much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cameForTheGum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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My bedroom now has a stained glass window.

A pigeon just flew right into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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How do you soundproof windows?

You give them the silent treatment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...

A real iSoar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.

I turn to her and say β€œI bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”

Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnpowers99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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I looked out of the window and my dad was slumped over the lawnmower

crying his eyes out. I said to my mum "what's up with him?"

She said "he's just going through a rough patch".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grantthejester
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Windows not Mac
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGenryusai
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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My donkey keeps eating the glass out of my window.

It’s a real pane in the ass.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Why did the old man throw his clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imkindaspiffy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Window installer

Never get in a fight with a window installer

They'll bring the pane!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cneuf802
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Why are windows bad quiz masters?

They always reveal the answer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.

I said to myself, that’s a little condescending

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awag80
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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I can't recycle a broken window with regular glass bottles in my town.

It's a pane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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A Russian named Rudolph looked out of his window one day and told his wife not to go out without an umbrella. His wife asked ”What makes you say that”?

He replied ”Rudolph the red knows rain dear”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Mac now supports Windows
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatherjon05
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,

That'd be a different story all together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retro_Lancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night

The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Why don't people like replacing the glass in windows?

Because it's a pane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Windows
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atg2411
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?

Apparently it was panes taking work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.

I didn’t realize they were pane killers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?

He said,” All I felt was pane.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mydogisadoglol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...

Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake

I guess that's why they call it window pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What did the Apple OS say to the Windows OS when it wanted to merge?

"Sorry, not PC enough."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LadenStarfish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore

I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why is there no Windows 9?

Cause 7 8 9

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Autistic_Lurker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Why did the window inspector quit his job?

He felt too much pane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pengwin34
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What do you call two guys on a window?

Kurt and Rod

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSpikalicious
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?

Kurt and Rod

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenthegreen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day

"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.

He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"

"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pidgeon-eater-69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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