Guys help I have so many door puns in my head

I can't handle them

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinFlemz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.

That way, I always make a grand entrance.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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How do you tell the difference between a male door and a female door?

One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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"Honey, who might bee at the front door?"
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4, they'd be called chicken sedans.

πŸ‘︎ 401
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...

"Who was that?" asked my wife.

"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"

"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"

She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes."

"Do you still need a push?"

"Yes please."

"Where are you?"

"Over here...on the swing."

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...

Just in case there’s a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omniwrench-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Good thing there are just the two doors to the US Capitol building

Cause attempted sedan doesn’t have the same ring to it

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeugirdork
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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A salesperson came to my door yesterday trying to sell me a coffin.

I told him, "That's the last thing I need".

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OFMaaron
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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I workout at a facility that only plays The Doors.

I call it the Gym Morrison.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VengefulVendetta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 654
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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What did Joe say to Donald on his way out the door?

Bi den

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sync_shark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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Why did the clown hold the door open?

Because it's a nice jester

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ginks_21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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The hospital I work at has shut down the revolving doors

I hear it’s cause they don’t want Covid going around....

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanjiroku
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
The best thing to do when encountering a door jam,

Open a nearby door so you can stick it in ajar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riptide-Shadow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow

It was our last warming.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobotPreacher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Hippie gets 3 months late on rent...So the landlord knocks on his door to let him know he’s being evicted

He opens the door and tells him β€œNamaste”.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boobaloo222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.

I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?

"Don't look! I'm dressing!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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β€œChristopher Wreath” is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegeekofsteel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Why did the living door fall over?

He was knocked unconscious!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard, and taking poops on my flower bed.

His dog is not as bad.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"

She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.

So, I handed him a glass of water.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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My neighbour banged on my door at 3am, screaming and shouting hysterically, the poor fella..

Luckily, I was up practicing my drums at the time..

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontmeenafing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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People weren't happy with me for leaving the front door at work open overnight.

I walked into a chilly reception.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IlltimedYOLO
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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grandpa told me: "if a door closes somewhere, another opens

he was a really bad cabinet maker...

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevin_flu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes topless in the garden.

Personally,I’m on the fence.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!

Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flabbergash
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her...

Instead I swam up to the surface.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.

My daughter says it will be very soothing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WOTrULookingAt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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When is a door not a door?

When it’s a jar

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batchyyyyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it

Just in case there's a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubstepAndTrap
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nagyiskc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge before I open the door...

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

I'll see myself out....

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

If they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Hold the door open for a clown

It's a nice jester.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Why was the door glass?

Because the door was ajar

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimple007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A clown held the door open for me

It was a nice Jester

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
When is a door, not a door?

When it's ajar.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do chicken coops have two doors?

Because if they had four doors they'd be chicken sedans!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gottliebk12
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What should you do if there's a sink at your door?

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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When is door not a door?

When it's ajar.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guitarguy12341
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?

"Don't look! I'm dressing!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A clown held the door open for me today

I thought that it was a nice jester

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AggressiveLikes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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