I once got into an argument with a co-worker, who slammed the door so hard when he left, it broke the latch.

Which sucked, because I thought we needed the closure...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."

My first official dad joke.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaudiocomplex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Not my first but it felt good:

My newborn daughter is currently in the NICU recovering from a heart condition which had caused some respiratory complications. Because of these respiratory complications she had been intubated since birth until just a few days ago which had prevented her from learning how to breast feed. This morning, I told my wife to keep me updated with how things are going as she spent some time with our daughter so that I could get some of life's necessities completed. My wife then sent me a text explaining that the doctors had decided to allow our daughter to breast feed and that our daughter had just "latched" for the first time. I responded, "That's great news! Thanks for keeping me abreast!"

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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