When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..

It's a current affair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reachingnexus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
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How do lighting bolts laugh?

They crack up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xx420mcyoloswag
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
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How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?

He was grounded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjfullinfaw07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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I was telling jokes about nuts and bolts

But then I screwed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hensfan85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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What do you use to put a bolt in someones back?

A double crossbow.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02
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Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?

Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanoffeeBoi35
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Bought a dog from a blacksmith yesterday, got him home and the first thing he did was make a bolt for the door
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmed24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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What is it when a cannibal sees Usain Bolt?

Fast food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koreangamerguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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I bought a dog off a blacksmith today. As soon as I got home it made a bolt for the door.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danime69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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I saw this woman flirting with Usain Bolt down the pub earlier.

β€œHmmm! She’s trying to pull a fast one” I thought

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Dead bolt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CP-23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Someone once told me a story about screws, nuts and bolts.

It was Riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSquirrel73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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I got a dog from the blacksmiths the other day, but as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EllieGeorgia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Did you hear about the Boston Dynamics home-protection robot that failed to stop intruders due to faulty shoulder bolts?

It was easily disarmed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Usain bolt must be a fruit

Have you seen that mango?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssasinButt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Bolt crosses the Finish line to win another gold medal [2016]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_wastl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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My friend told me he could tighten bolts with his butt

Personally, I think he torques out of his ass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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I just finished a great documentary about the process by which metal sheets are fastened together with steel bolts.

It was riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_iraq_such_as
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Risky Dad Joke: My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...

So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EricTheReddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2014
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What did the deaf man ask Usain Bolt?

"what are usain, Bolt?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jellied_Banana11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I've been told a fat guy outran Bolt

He must be faster than light

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacksonrr3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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Usain Bolt sucks at playing hide and seek.

He can run but he can't hide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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What's the opposite of Usain Bolt?

Me crazy nut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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I read a book titled The Nuts & Bolts of Nuts & Bolts.

It was fasten-ating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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How did the crazy bolt explain the difference between himself and his brother to his brother?

"You sane bolt."

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
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A lot of people are talking about Usain Bolt.

I guess it's a running joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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What's Usain Bolt's favourite subject?

Jography

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
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Why did the rusty bolt go to the bar?

To loosen up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thenervemann
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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Want to hear a joke about Usain Bolt?

It's a long-running one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesfordayzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
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Who's the opposite of Usain Bolt?

You insane nut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teh_Slayur
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2016
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How does Usain Bolt like his eggs?

Runny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ra3ndy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
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Usain Bolt's destiny

My wife commented the other night that Bolt was "destined to be a sprinter with that name"

"Or an electrician", I replied

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nealj85
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
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Whenever my cat bolts across the room

After saying that my cat is the fastest cat he's ever seen

Dad: Look at MEWsain Bolt go!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colololin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Usain Bolt must be a fruit.

Have you seen that mango

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssasinButt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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