What's got alot of balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilcardo1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. The real question is, how did they get in there?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_C_Citizenz
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
How many dads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. One to screw in the lightbulb...

And no one to write his jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kyonlion
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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How many fire flies does it took too screw in a light bulb?

No one knows exactly, but it takes a lot. They aren't that bright.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobbert84
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
How many disappointed dads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How would I know? You’ve made me the proudest dad alive.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Play2Win1776
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
When going on a roller coaster, bring some screws and nuts with you.

When it's half way up, scream at the people in the front seats, "SHIT DUDE, THESE JUST CAME OFF FROM YOUR SEATS. "

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
How many dancers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A 5, 6, 7, 8!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttered_t0asties
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is it better to screw up on a road you paved than on one someone else paved?

Because it's your own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VBStrong_67
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied β€œScrew you!”

So I'm pretty excited for the new year!

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How do Disney princesses screw in a lightbulb?

They hold the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magnebuda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My optometrist says that I have a screw loose.

But I just can’t see it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steve_McGuilicuty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
The man and the silver screw.

There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.

The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jj8o8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Let’s go play on our bikes.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otherwiseaaron
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskyEchoTango
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If you can’t hammer screws

Screw screws

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joachim_s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I guess you could say he’s a...... screw driver
πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ketchuponcereal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Screw Netflix and chill

How about Hulu and do you? πŸ’€

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Premystic
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a Karen screw in a light bulb?

She puts it in the socket and expects the world to revolve around her.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cedar_Nomad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, they are very efficient and have no sense of humor.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy drink a bottle of brandy, then fill it to the top with water and screw the lid back on.

He approached a wild ox. The ox looked at him.

The guy said, "Hello, there, wild ox. Would you like to buy this bottle of brandy from me? Β£50, that is all."

The wild ox mulled it over, before pulling out the money and handing it over to the man.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have jumped up and yelled, "It's a con, yak!"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hey wanna go play catch?

(My dad's newest)

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedarkplayr
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does it feel so good to screw on a camping trip?

Cuz It's fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Breed721
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I just installed a screw in my computer.

But I can’t find the driver for it.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrumpyBottom_YT
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Are they gonna screw?
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hilloviikot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Screw your β€œinteresting title”
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fruitsnack1111
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If you don’t get the joke, you might have a screw loose
πŸ‘︎ 228
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kupalurk-yt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
"Push harder", I shouted at my wife while she was in labor. "Screw you", she yelled back at me.

A bit harsh I thought, it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to hospital.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a screw in my car tire today...

...I had no idea my wife and I could even fit in there!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blochow2001
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Screw fast cooks
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paerpie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Screw driver
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Pinetree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How many amoeba does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  1. No, 2. No wait 4! 8 16 32...
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/My_Name_Is_JoeJoe
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/miltondelug
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Juan

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
How many golfers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Fore!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oatli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A fish

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2. They'll fit.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What has a 100 balls and screws old women

Bingo

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/socdist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How many ravens does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It’s imPOEsible to tell

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One! Because Germans do not have humor.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taroqi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 2. But the real question is, how did they get in there?

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToeKneeh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian.c..

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeskies307
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Fish

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How many spies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajjanialthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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