Those parents must be nuts
π︎ 387
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Where did the nut keep his money?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Facepalm nut
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Busted a nut...
π︎ 179
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
That's nuts
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
I asked a girl for her hand. She thinks I'm nuts.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
I held the nuts in a poker game once,
It meant a great deal to me.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Challenge: No Nut November Accomplished
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
My 6 year old gave occupations to the Planters Mixed Nuts.
Cashews are bankers.
Peanuts are urologists.
And Chestnuts are plastic surgeons.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
I'll see myself out
π︎ 250
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
What is the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts
Beer nuts are a $1:37. Deer nuts are under a buck.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
What is the angriest nut?
π︎ 147
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
What did one nut say while chasing the other nut?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Nut car
π︎ 21
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
People ask me how I cope with No Nut November...
Its easy, anytime I even think about eating a nut, I have a wank instead!
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
What is the wealthiest nut?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
What is a scholarβs favourite kind of nut?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
What nut is always begging for attention?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Do you know why Aldiβs doesnβt sell its own brand of nuts?
Because itβs would be called Aldiβs Nuts
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
Which is the grand master of nuts?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
What kind of nut is attached to the ceiling?
A Wall-nut.
From my 8 year old son tonight. I am so proud.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
What do you call a nut that fell out of your bowl and rolled under the couch?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
What kind of nuts only accept credit card payments?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.47, deer nuts are under a buck.
Made this joke up in the 3rd grade (you can't tell by the pricing). I'm very old now. Still a winner.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
An ice cream man was found unconscious in his van today, covered in chocolate sprinkles, hundreds and thousands, raspberry sauce, caramel & nuts.
Police believe he tried to top himself.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
What kind of nuts can you wear on your feet?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
TIL that cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?
π︎ 388
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
how do nuts sneeze?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
Interviewer: "So, how was your last job in a nut shell?"
Me: "I never worked in a nut shell."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
π︎ 26
π
︎ May 28 2020
Railway companies must be nuts.
After all, they have loco-motives.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
You know what takes nuts?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
What does it sound like when a nut sneezes?
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
What do you call a nut with a cold?
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 24 2020
NUT
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 02 2020
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
π︎ 41
π
︎ May 01 2020
Nuts
Beer nuts for sale $ 1:25 per bag Deer nuts under a Buck
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
(very slightly vulgar) Whatβs the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer nuts are just over five dollars, deer nuts are only under a buck.
π︎ 151
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Whatβs the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are around $1.25 and deer nuts are just under a buck.
π︎ 68
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Well beer nuts are usually around a buck fifty, and deer nuts are always under a buck.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
What did the nut say when chasing the other nut?
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Mar 24 2019
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