I feel really bad for cucumber seeds...

If they're unlucky, they could really get themselves in a pickle.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrowsyDuck005
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
I made this crazy paste out of sesame seeds, it was so good I nearly ate all of it

Don’t worry I still have a tahini bit left

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glowcoma
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
I bought some bird seed today

I wonder what kind of birds they will grow into.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I bought a bag of bird seed and I'm SO disappointed...

Not a single bird grew after I planted it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I was brewing my first batch of beer with a friend and he told me to add the seed cones that are used primarily as a bittering, flavoring, and stability agents.

I hopped to it!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.

Please don’t make fun of my re-seeding hare line.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
What did one cucumber seed say to the other?

We're in a bit of a pickle!

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about that sauce made by a guy who plants seeds outside Stockholm?

He’s calling it Sweden Sower Sauce

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkDragon1025
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
Why did the seed follow a German seven

Because he wanted to germinate!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
I never really cared for gardening, but after planting a few seeds..

It grew on me

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
What did one cucumber seed say to the other cucumber seed?

"Damn! We're in a pickle."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
Put your seeds in the bag!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monguloids
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
An edible pale green seed of an Asian tree is very very angry with you for calling him a nut.

He's really pistachio

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
When the teacher asked where the apple's seeds are located, little Johnny said "the center."

She said, "that's almost core-rect."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
My kids asked me why sesame seeds are on burger buns.

I replied,

β€œWell actually, sesame seeds were the ingredient that made hamburgers popular. Yup. Sesame seeds were the secret to success... ever since then, they’ve been on a roll.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.

It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrEpicGamerMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I sometimes drop flower seeds in my neighbors flower beds.

Sow seedy of me!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gardeningnovice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the pumpkin seeds that were drilled out, and then left alone with nothing to entertain them?

They were bored out of their gourd.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nwhaught
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
when the guys you instructed to sow seeds over your lawn also remove all the weeds from it -
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElnMusk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...

Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SixPhalaris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A Dad joke planted as a seed, which took 17 years to flower.

Not quite as tragic, but it manifested into something which has haunted me at my job for years.

When I was a little kid learning about the world around me, my dad was naturally the font of all knowledge for me, He would answer all of little snippersmith's questions with his own unique insights and anecdotes teaching me of my surroundings with varying degrees of accuracy.

One day In a picture book, I encountered a photo of one of natures most bizarre creatures, the mighty duck billed platypus. Filled with curiosity of this bizarre creature and an Inability to read a young snippersmith asked his father what this creature was called, To which his father replied,

That's a Quackopotamous.....

As is a highly likely situation in day to day life the Platypus (or indeed the Quackopotamous), did not come into conversation for another 17 years, Until of course the Platypus came into conversation around the lunch table at a now grown up snippersmith's full time place of work.

I have not been

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snippersmith
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Bonus question from my math test in 4th grade: What did the seed say when it grew up?

Geometry

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSimpleSam
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My chickens can’t eat the new seed I got for them.

The seed is impeccable.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMGROOTie9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't seed that coming! v.redd.it/0kj4qcegjof11
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joshua_james_m
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
The carat, a unit of mass for gemstones, and a measurement of purity for gold, takes its name from the Greek word for a carob seed from the Legume family.

No wonder they are called the Pirates of the Carob Bean.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was originally opposed to the idea of planting a seed on my back

But it's really grown on me

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TerlerSwerft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
When you get into an argument about seeds and nuts " I'll cashew outside how bout dah"
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yojitsu93
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Out of all the melons, my favorite is the big green one which is all red inside and riddled with seeds.

What a melon!

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Apostjustforthis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
🚨︎ report
After preparing my garden today, I realized my bag of seeds was eaten by squirrels.

Seedless to say, I won't be planting anything tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Mexican optometrist say when she found an opium seed in her patient's retina?

Eye Poppy!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elseebee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I've been germinating Sycamore and Milkweed seeds for about a month or so for bio class and today we had to present a powerpoint about it and i just had to take the opportunity.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goldengift23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hot pepper with its seeds removed?

A hollow peΓ±o

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKingoftheJuice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Wheat bears large seeds that stay on the stalk

because it has been selectively bread.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fiat-flux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
🚨︎ report
These seed pods that our daughter keeps tripping on suck!!

Me: yeah, they really are the pits!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foflexity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report
While buying seeds for the garden...

"Dad, why are you buying so many peas? I don't even like peas!"

"Come on son, give peas a chance"

Thank you... I'll show myself out...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NinjaCoder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
🚨︎ report
The chicken refused to eat the bird seed

They found it

Im-peck-able

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Just picked up some bird seed at the store.

Wonder how long they will take to grow?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benedictm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?

He was on a roll

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Eating sunflower seeds in the car

Me: I wanted 1 and I got 1

Dad: Ask and you shall reseed

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Klatchwell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad found a seed in his clementine...

"But don't tell anyone," he said with a dad-twinkle in his eye, "or they'll ALL want one!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamthetlc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.