I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when itโ€™s raining in Sweden

How the hell am I supposed to know when itโ€™s raining in Sweden?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lifesdope057
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
In Sweden the CEO of IKEA was just elected president.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 59
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tfowler11
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do you say when you cross the border between Sweden and Finland?

And across the Finnish line

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AnBuachaillEire
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 16 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why does Norway and Swedenโ€™s navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So the can scandinavian

Canโ€™t take credit for this one. A client of mine told me this.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DeutscheTaters
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What is the national dish of Sweden?

Swedish

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/equiinferno
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Whatโ€™s the name of Swedenโ€™s sixth king?

Viking!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BengarDGP
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
While playing Mortal Kombat in Sweden, what does the announcer say at the end of a fight?

Finnish Him!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vanillathunda1989
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why does Sweden have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

Itโ€™s so when they enter the port, they can Scandinavian.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/robindc_93
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?

an artificial Swedener

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Confused_gay69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why is real estate so big in Sweden right now?

Because they have a good stock of homes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Foamy07
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
The people from Stockholm in Sweden must really love it there

They never seem to leave

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 403
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/threeheadedman
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I bought a car from Sweden once.

It was a real Saab story.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 29
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PM_ME_UR_BENCHYS
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Sweden is having a bad outbreak of the Krona virus.

I have no IKEA when it will be Finnished.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/IllegallySneezy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Denmark, Norway, and Sweden just implemented bar codes on all their military ships.

That way, whenever one of them comes into port, they can Scandinavian.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/movieguy2004
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 33
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How do you get from Germany to Sweden?

Just head to the Norse

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Vajrapani
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I want to move to Sweden.

Her: Why what's good about Sweden?

Me: I don't know, but there flag is a big plus.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CrikeyKillz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I made this joke on my old account but I got a new phone so ima say it again... What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?

An artificial Swedener

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/good_old_jrmint
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I was at a concert of which a Scandinavian woman was playing on stage, one of my friends turns to me and remarks โ€œI wonder if sheโ€™s from Swedenโ€ another friend says โ€œmaybe Norway?โ€ My final friend asks โ€œdo you thinks sheโ€™s Finnish?โ€

I boastfully reply โ€œI fucking hope not sheโ€™s only been on five minutesโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mr-Suggs
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg.

Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city, deciding to let Bydgoszcz be Bydgoszcz.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jolindbe
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Someone complimented me from Sweden. I said...

Thatโ€™s Swede of you

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 47
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Vitmal
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I liked my trip to Sweden overall,

But all the cakes there were kaka.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/analytik
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I got kidnapped and taken to Sweden,but it's a pretty nice place

I guess you could say I'm developing Stockholm syndrome.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Syndr1l
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
When Northern Europe was bartering for its land, all they wanted was a little something to Sweden the deal.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/callenreese
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Kia Motors have joined forces to produce a kit set electric car in sweden...

... they are calling it the iKia

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NZOC
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Whatโ€™s so good about living in Sweden?

I donโ€™t know, but the flags a big plus

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mo_oseT
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
If you're pretending to be Swedish don't use the name "Splenda". They'll know you are an artificial Sweden-er
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 50
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/pm_me_anything___
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 10 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I read an article today about a long distance race that starts in Sweden and ends in Finland...

The winner is the first person to cross the Finnish line.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 55
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CallMeTuco
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 12 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Located at farsta centrum - sweden
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ten3roberts
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
All the boats in Denmark and Sweden are required by law to have a barcode on the side.

It's so they can scan-da-navy-in.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Randomd0g
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 05 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
TIL that Swedish Fish are actually shaped like Sweden, not fish.

Yeah, it turns out the fish part is a red herring.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 56
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NeonNytrox
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 20 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Whenever Sweden and Denmark play on a match, the score says SWE-DEN

and the remaining letters are "DEN" and "MARK"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NickWilde992
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I just found out the difference between candy in the US and candy in Sweden

Candy here (US) is sweet, while candy over there is sweet-ish.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 73
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ngabear
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 19 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Can you take a boat north from Sweden?

Nope. There's Norway

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Catctus
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 20 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
When I was in Sweden I didn't want to leave

I had Stockholm syndrome

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/slinckkey
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 30 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Iโ€™m going to jog from Sweden to Finland...

and cross the Finnish line.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 52
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BasementDweller3000
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Son: By law, you are actually required to turn on your headlights if if is raining in Sweden

Dad: Okay, but how the hell do I know if itโ€™s raining in Sweden?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 60
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/twistyturtles
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/notdadbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden

Artificial Swedener

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DrumSpace
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
By law, you have to turn on your headlights if it is raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I supposed to know whether it is raining there?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 61
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 01 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
If you're pretending to be Swedish don't use the name "Splenda". They'll know you are an artificial Sweden-er.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 246
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/pm_me_anything___
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 10 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.