They moved the penis museum from Iceland to Denmark.

They classified it as a dick move.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darr1ss
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Denmark, Norway, and Sweden just implemented bar codes on all their military ships.

That way, whenever one of them comes into port, they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/movieguy2004
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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I don't think I could ever move to Denmark, too many red flags.

On the other hand the flag is a big plus, so I'm a little conflicted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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All the boats in Denmark and Sweden are required by law to have a barcode on the side.

It's so they can scan-da-navy-in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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Whenever Sweden and Denmark play on a match, the score says SWE-DEN

and the remaining letters are "DEN" and "MARK"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NickWilde992
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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I drew Denmark and Switzerland in a world cup sweepstake.

They aren't the best teams but their flags are a huge plus.

https://i.imgur.com/vrsdL2Y.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glurt
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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I got a pastry for Denmark

It was a Danish danish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enchilada1214
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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I have a good dog from Denmark.

It's a Great Dane!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/42undead2
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2016
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They should rename the border between Denmark and Germany.

The DAN-GERzone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/truddilutten
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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Just came back from a trip to Switzerland and Denmark

Friend: "How were the two countries"

Me: "Well there were lots of mountains in Switzerland and basicly none in Denmark"

Friend: "So you could say your trip had ups and downs"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OfMonsters
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2015
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Dad Jokers of Reddit, I need your help

I’m about to ask a friend of mine to Prom, and she’s an exchange student from Denmark. She’s also a huge fan of puns.

Thus, I’ve come to the finest community of Reddit in search of a good Denmark pun. What’s your best??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nitrodragon523
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I may not be a dad for a while, but I’m getting some good practice in.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPappy09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Why do Danish warships have barcodes on the side of them?

So they can Scandinavian!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lunaticluna420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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beer sickness

here in denmark, we don't have to worry about the corona virus..

we do worry about tuborgculosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theevilglassdoor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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What country is situated under the sea?

Whales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bocabeks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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My son was eating out of a bag of Swedish Fish

On Christmas my aunt gave my son a small box of Swedish fish which he immediately devoured. At the moment he threw the empty box on the coffee table I looked at it with wide eyes and said, "Oh look! Now they're Finnish!" He didn't get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Polabeya
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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Can i get geographically punnier then this

Timmy : I'm Hungary,. Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge. Timmy : Ok, I'm Russian to the kitchen. Mum : Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey. Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck ! Mum : There is Norway you can eat that. Timmy : I know, I guess I'll just have a can of Chile. Mum : Denmark your name on the can. Timmy : Kenya do it for me? Mum : Ok , I'm Ghana do it. Timmy : Thanks, i'm so tired Iran for an hour today. Mum : It Tokyo long enough. Timmy : Yeah, Israelly hard sometimes !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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Why does 5 o'clock not drink alcohol?

Because it's 17.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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Feeling a bit girly

My best friend just returned from Denmark and came over to watch the game.

Dad: So how was your last semester?

Friend: It was amazing. I was abroad. It was so much fun.

Dad: Yeah, you did seem a little more feminine than I remember.

-Couldn't help but laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kamdaman1212
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
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Why does Norway put bar codes on their ships?

So they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p4rtyf0wl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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I brought my wife back a souvenir from my trip to Copenhagen.

I told her it's something gotten in the state of Denmark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j00bz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Are you Hungary [OC]

Are Ukraine your neck to Czech on the Turkey that they put down the Holland Finished with Chilli because there is Norway it will have Germans on it if you Russia to get there to Welsh and eat it because you're Hungary. Or will you let it die in Spain and leave Denmark on your name. If you do will you leave it on the Iraq and leave because Iran away to save my Korea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDragon98
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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Bike shop

I was visiting a friend in Copenhagen, Denmark. As we were having a walk, a shop piqued my interest with the name Loke (which I assumed was one way to spell Loki's name, the Norse God of mischief).

Me: What's that shop over there? Friend: That? It's a bike shop. Me: for Bikings?

Groans and threats to be thrown off the nearby bridge were made.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asatiir
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
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What do you call a stain left in a living room by a Danish person?

A Denmark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Throwawaybadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2016
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GF decided not to answer me seriously

Saw in an ad that the first 24/7 Hardware store in Denmark is here.
Asked GF why on earth would you need a Hardware store to be open 24/7.
She replied "Cause you never know when it's hammertime!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arlaarlaarla
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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My socially awkward dad

The first time we met my brother's gf (now wife) she was talking about how many natural disasters there is in USA (brother's gf from Boston, we are from Denmark) and we have almost none here

and he continues the topic

Dad: "well... The only natural disaster in Denmark is 'mom' in a bathing suit.."

We laughed so hard (even 'mom') except the gf, she begins to cry and claims that danes are monsters.. Then he'd explain that this is the humor of Denmark, and she understood. Now she even makes this kind of jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mons388
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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