Ever wonder why there are a bunch of stories about vampires in Europe but not Africa?
It's because they bless the rains down in Africa.
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Why are cars in eastern Europe so clean?
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Wife (we both live in the US): I have to make sure my work phone is on do not disturb mode before bed so I donβt get email notifications from co-workers in our office in Europe.
Me: Sure, because when they send email, they donβt care if youβre up.
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︎ Jul 30 2020
Dad, I can't seem to spell the sovereign state in central Europe.
Dad: "That's because you have Spellczech turned off"
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︎ Jul 26 2020
What do you call a luxury burger from Europe?
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︎ Jul 11 2020
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe
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︎ Jun 02 2020
Knock knock.... whoβs there? Europe...... Europe who?...
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︎ May 20 2020
Europe = Youβre up
I was listening to music with my dad recently and we were taking turns playing songs. I played the song βtime has comeβ by the band Europe, from the hot rod soundtrack (Hilarious movie btw). I pointed to my phone and said βEurope!β. My dad yelled βIβm up? Alright!β And started looking for the next song to play. I was like βNo! EUROPEβ and he was like βI KNOW, IM UPβ and proceeded to play the next song. Afterward he said he was just fucking with me. A true dad moment. Thought you guys might appreciate.
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Why was Nazi-ism so infectious in the middle of Europe?
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︎ Apr 10 2020
Ive never been to central europe,
but I might czech it out.
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︎ Mar 28 2020
What do you call a Europe album played on a turntable?
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︎ Mar 18 2020
The Belorussian Premier League is the only Football league in Europe still playing matches, despite the COVID-19 pandemic.
I heard the atmosphere in their stadiums is contagious.
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︎ Apr 03 2020
Europe is ahead of our time
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︎ Mar 21 2020
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
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︎ Nov 27 2019
What do you call Chinese food from Europe
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︎ Jan 15 2020
βDad, do all countries in Europe drive on the right?β
Dad: Yes, the Brits left.
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︎ Jul 23 2019
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
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︎ Aug 01 2019
Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Europe.
Europe who?
No, youβre a poo!
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︎ Dec 06 2019
How did you know Satan was going to Europe?
The flight from SIN to HEL vanished in Finnair.
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︎ Sep 21 2019
What do they call Miley Cyrus in europe?
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︎ Jul 01 2019
Whatβs purple and sits on the western edge of Europe?
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︎ Nov 05 2019
Why did the giant eat a country in Europe?
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︎ Oct 29 2019
Eastern Europe produces a lot of techno, but it's primarily consumed by just one region:
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︎ Oct 14 2019
I had to get out of the small hotel business in Europe.
It was a hostel work environment
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︎ Aug 21 2019
Knock-knock / Whoβs There? / Europe
Europe who?
No, YOUβRE a POO!!
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︎ Aug 24 2019
Whatβs Miley Cyrus called in Europe?
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︎ Jun 02 2019
What would happen if I ordered a hatchet from Europe and had it shipped?
I could have a foreign axe sent.
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︎ Apr 29 2019
How is Europe like a frying pan?
It has Greece at the bottom
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︎ Jul 20 2019
Since vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests donβt just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why there are so many vampires from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
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︎ Aug 06 2018
Saw this on r/europe and it deserves more upvotes than it has.
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︎ Apr 11 2019
When we leave Europe, technically we'll be in...
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︎ May 05 2019
*Wife approaching a roundabout* Wife: βThese roundabouts are all over Europe.β
Me: βSure makes it easy to get around.β
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︎ Aug 18 2019
When Northern Europe was bartering for its land, all they wanted was a little something to Sweden the deal.
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︎ Jul 29 2019
What do you call an Asian from europe?
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︎ Jun 02 2019
How do you know whether anything's changed in Europe?
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︎ Jun 23 2019
Is my old fireplace Eastern Europe?
As it is behind an iron curtain.
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︎ Apr 15 2019
It's not that drivers in Europe are driving on the wrong side of the road...
They're just not driving on the right side either.
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︎ Feb 19 2019
I believe if we had a race around the world, it should end in Europe...
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︎ Jan 30 2019
I'm thinking of moving to Europe to study different types of bacteria.
I figure the best place to begin would be Germany.
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︎ Apr 04 2019
The award as the most racist country in Europe goes to..
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︎ Feb 11 2019
"Is it weird if I really like the mountains that separate Europe from Asia?"
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︎ Apr 12 2019
Why does Dracula stay in Europe?
They blessed the rains in Africa!
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︎ May 09 2019
Why does Miles Davis hate traveling in Europe?
because they keep calling him Kilometers Davis there
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︎ Oct 20 2018
Do you know how they call bigfoot in Europe?
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︎ Jan 28 2019
I asked my friend Miles if he was interested in knowing how his name is pronounced in Europe he said sure so I replied
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︎ Feb 26 2019
What do you call a yardstick in Europe?
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︎ Jan 04 2019
I play chess online with a guy that lives in a small land-locked country in Central Europe.
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︎ Jun 12 2018
Which continent is smaller than Europe?
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︎ Aug 29 2018
There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...
Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.
The
...
keep reading on reddit β‘
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︎ Jul 06 2016
I flew home to Canada from Europe yesterday. I woke up this morning and said to my dad "my arms hurt. I'm not sure why. I feel like I worked out or something". Without skipping a beat, my dad:
"Huh. Must be from all that flying you did"
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︎ Dec 16 2018
Tom Scott Joke: What do you call a timer set for when the title track of Europe's 1985 album will be played for the last time?
Its the final Final Countdown countdown.
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︎ Nov 16 2018
They had to ban King Kong from Eastern Europe
He bounced too many Czechs.
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︎ Oct 02 2018
Europes favorite Sci-Fi?
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︎ Jul 29 2018
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︎ Oct 24 2015
My buddy was hotel-ling us how his trip to Europe was going
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︎ Feb 18 2018
How do you tell someone from eastern Europe to have a look at something?
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︎ Apr 29 2018
My friends kid said he wanted to go to europe to study abroad
I asked him what was wrong with the women here.
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︎ May 29 2018
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
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︎ May 02 2018
Why did the caring farmer plant his crop in Africa, Europe, Asia, North America, South America, Australia and Antarctica?
He wanted to see world peas.
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︎ Mar 30 2018
You know what they said in weather begotten 10th century Europe...
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︎ Mar 23 2017
Vampires are killed by holy water right? So if thatβs the case then why doesnβt someone just pray over the clouds so the rain kills them all? Now I realize why so many vampires were from Europe....
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
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︎ Aug 09 2018
What do you call a finely chopped cabbage from Eastern Europe?
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︎ Oct 09 2017
A U.S. Naval ship is sinking off the coast of Europe
As soon as they found out they were in trouble, they started over the radio, βMayday, Mayday, We are Sinking, I repeat, We are sinking!β
A little while later the German Coast Guard responds, β Allo, zis is zee German Coast Guard, Vat are you sinking about?β
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︎ Apr 12 2018
A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his luggage caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.
The whole event was pretty terrible.
It's being called the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.
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︎ Aug 11 2017
Are you from Europe?
Are you from Europe? because I couldn't help but Czech you out. Now now, I know I need to polish my techniques, but there is Norway I could resist.
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︎ Jul 30 2017
Son: I'd love to go to Europe sometime.
Dad: You go all the time when you play baseball! UUUUUURRRRRR UUUPPP!
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︎ May 10 2017
What do they call the hunger games in Europe
Battle Royale with cheese
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︎ Nov 23 2016
Some bad dad jokes about Europe (very bad)
Germany has to be one of the smelliest countrys in Europe
-Its so bad they have a town called Cologne
Did you know France has a sibling that had a child?
-Neither did I but its the only explanation for Nice
Poland has this uncanny habit of not finishing its stories
-Warsaw what?
Belgium loves its greens
-City named Brussels gives it away
Everytime i tell anyone of these I need to laugh as the absolute cringe my girlfriend makes and then laugh through the pain of her hitting me whilst saying "Its just not funny".
Personally I love them and I thought i would share them with you.
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︎ Jan 07 2017
What is the saddest part of eastern Europe?
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︎ Jan 27 2017
Was flying over the Netherlands on a trip to Europe with my dad leans in all very seriously and whispers...
Where do Gerbil go on vacation?
Hamsterdam
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︎ Jul 23 2015
I made friends with a guy from Central Europe on chess.com earlier
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︎ Oct 16 2015
What is the tastiest bug in all of Europe?
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︎ Jan 07 2016
I told my dad a semsester in Europe would be awesome and this is his response.
Me: Hey dad I'm thinking of studying abroad.
Dad: Just make sure its the right broad hahahahaha
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︎ Jun 28 2014
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︎ Nov 26 2013
A friend told me about her trip to Europe. On her first day there she had a very bad headache.
I said "That's probably from flying. Geese get those all the time. It's a migrating headache."
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︎ Mar 03 2014
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe
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︎ May 02 2019
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
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︎ Jun 27 2018
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
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︎ Nov 16 2015
How is Miley Cyrus called in Europe?
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︎ Oct 28 2017
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