Ever wonder why there are a bunch of stories about vampires in Europe but not Africa?

It's because they bless the rains down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Patabell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are cars in eastern Europe so clean?

Because of the Polish.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karl_Marxist_3rd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife (we both live in the US): I have to make sure my work phone is on do not disturb mode before bed so I don’t get email notifications from co-workers in our office in Europe.

Me: Sure, because when they send email, they don’t care if you’re up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, I can't seem to spell the sovereign state in central Europe.

Dad: "That's because you have Spellczech turned off"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a luxury burger from Europe?

A Luxembourger!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Duug
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe

Bigmeter

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeemist90881
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Knock knock.... who’s there? Europe...... Europe who?...

I’m not a poo...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seymour2112
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Europe = You’re up

I was listening to music with my dad recently and we were taking turns playing songs. I played the song β€œtime has come” by the band Europe, from the hot rod soundtrack (Hilarious movie btw). I pointed to my phone and said β€œEurope!”. My dad yelled β€œI’m up? Alright!” And started looking for the next song to play. I was like β€œNo! EUROPE” and he was like β€œI KNOW, IM UP” and proceeded to play the next song. Afterward he said he was just fucking with me. A true dad moment. Thought you guys might appreciate.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Nazi-ism so infectious in the middle of Europe?

It was full of Germs

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Ive never been to central europe,

but I might czech it out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SOMEDUDEKILL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Europe album played on a turntable?

The Vinyl Countdown

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spaghettios32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The Belorussian Premier League is the only Football league in Europe still playing matches, despite the COVID-19 pandemic.

I heard the atmosphere in their stadiums is contagious.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sagbon98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Europe is ahead of our time

By about 5 hours or so

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flakaby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

Kilometer Cyrus

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rasberryjam5151
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call Chinese food from Europe

Sweden sour chicken

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gay_is_gay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, do all countries in Europe drive on the right?”

Dad: Yes, the Brits left.

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

Kilometery Cyrus

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engi-nerd_5085
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe.

Europe who?

No, you’re a poo!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterB78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How did you know Satan was going to Europe?

The flight from SIN to HEL vanished in Finnair.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captainjbao
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do they call Miley Cyrus in europe?

Kilometry Cyrus.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JovaJoda
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s purple and sits on the western edge of Europe?

Grape Britain.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the giant eat a country in Europe?

He was Hungary

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Honeytoast123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Eastern Europe produces a lot of techno, but it's primarily consumed by just one region:

Moravia

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OratioFidelis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to get out of the small hotel business in Europe.

It was a hostel work environment

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudesbeindudes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Knock-knock / Who’s There? / Europe

Europe who? No, YOU’RE a POO!!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mole555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Miley Cyrus called in Europe?

Kilometrey Cyrus

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SneepSnorping
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What would happen if I ordered a hatchet from Europe and had it shipped?

I could have a foreign axe sent.

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ordeliadruilla
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How is Europe like a frying pan?

It has Greece at the bottom

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChillFamGgNoRe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Since vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don’t just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why there are so many vampires from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 313
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JuIius_Seizure95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Saw this on r/europe and it deserves more upvotes than it has.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lukub5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
When we leave Europe, technically we'll be in...

Brexile

  • courtesy of my dad.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/serendippity_
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
*Wife approaching a roundabout* Wife: β€œThese roundabouts are all over Europe.”

Me: β€œSure makes it easy to get around.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoSasquatchy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
When Northern Europe was bartering for its land, all they wanted was a little something to Sweden the deal.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callenreese
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Asian from europe?

Croatians

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gingeraily
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you know whether anything's changed in Europe?

You Czech for updates.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnochi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Is my old fireplace Eastern Europe?

As it is behind an iron curtain.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
It's not that drivers in Europe are driving on the wrong side of the road...

They're just not driving on the right side either.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubstepman87
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I believe if we had a race around the world, it should end in Europe...

Toward the Finnish line

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiggiePhats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of moving to Europe to study different types of bacteria.

I figure the best place to begin would be Germany.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kttypo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The award as the most racist country in Europe goes to..

Montenegro

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RainforceK
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
"Is it weird if I really like the mountains that separate Europe from Asia?"

Nope, Ural good

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dayman__aAa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Dracula stay in Europe?

They blessed the rains in Africa!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slumberingtitan
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Miles Davis hate traveling in Europe?

because they keep calling him Kilometers Davis there

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/npg33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know how they call bigfoot in Europe?

Bigmeter

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/one_lonelyboi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend Miles if he was interested in knowing how his name is pronounced in Europe he said sure so I replied

Kilometers

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alexbeltran43
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a yardstick in Europe?

A metermeter

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thomystic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I play chess online with a guy that lives in a small land-locked country in Central Europe.

He’s my Czech-mate.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Which continent is smaller than Europe?

Eustring

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BoSHEEE
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
🚨︎ report
I flew home to Canada from Europe yesterday. I woke up this morning and said to my dad "my arms hurt. I'm not sure why. I feel like I worked out or something". Without skipping a beat, my dad:

"Huh. Must be from all that flying you did"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stepharachide
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Tom Scott Joke: What do you call a timer set for when the title track of Europe's 1985 album will be played for the last time?

Its the final Final Countdown countdown.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icecreep109
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
They had to ban King Kong from Eastern Europe

He bounced too many Czechs.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AkumaXshoguN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Europes favorite Sci-Fi?

Star Czech.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LilDebbo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
The flags of Northern Europe ipfs.pics/QmfEgrnja9ajfD6…
πŸ‘︎ 155
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dachewie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2015
🚨︎ report
My buddy was hotel-ling us how his trip to Europe was going
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BobaLives01925
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you tell someone from eastern Europe to have a look at something?

Hey, Czech this out!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CFDMoFo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My friends kid said he wanted to go to europe to study abroad

I asked him what was wrong with the women here.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
🚨︎ report
How is bacon like southern Europe?

It's got a lot of Greece in it.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adnroy
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the caring farmer plant his crop in Africa, Europe, Asia, North America, South America, Australia and Antarctica?

He wanted to see world peas.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/freeyourballs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
🚨︎ report
You know what they said in weather begotten 10th century Europe...

When it reigns it poors.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeasOfMind
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Vampires are killed by holy water right? So if that’s the case then why doesn’t someone just pray over the clouds so the rain kills them all? Now I realize why so many vampires were from Europe....

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBoulder64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a finely chopped cabbage from Eastern Europe?

Slawvic

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arugula278
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
🚨︎ report
A U.S. Naval ship is sinking off the coast of Europe

As soon as they found out they were in trouble, they started over the radio, β€œMayday, Mayday, We are Sinking, I repeat, We are sinking!”

A little while later the German Coast Guard responds, β€œ Allo, zis is zee German Coast Guard, Vat are you sinking about?”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wizardofozmak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his luggage caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.

The whole event was pretty terrible.

It's being called the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoyoteTheFatal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Are you from Europe?

Are you from Europe? because I couldn't help but Czech you out. Now now, I know I need to polish my techniques, but there is Norway I could resist.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/An_Oatmeal_Vendor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Son: I'd love to go to Europe sometime.

Dad: You go all the time when you play baseball! UUUUUURRRRRR UUUPPP!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pilvlp
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What do they call the hunger games in Europe

Battle Royale with cheese

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/funkychease
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Some bad dad jokes about Europe (very bad)

Germany has to be one of the smelliest countrys in Europe

-Its so bad they have a town called Cologne

Did you know France has a sibling that had a child?

-Neither did I but its the only explanation for Nice

Poland has this uncanny habit of not finishing its stories

-Warsaw what?

Belgium loves its greens

-City named Brussels gives it away

Everytime i tell anyone of these I need to laugh as the absolute cringe my girlfriend makes and then laugh through the pain of her hitting me whilst saying "Its just not funny".

Personally I love them and I thought i would share them with you.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xXxXREMNANTXxXx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the saddest part of eastern Europe?

The Crimea River.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GGGargadon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Was flying over the Netherlands on a trip to Europe with my dad leans in all very seriously and whispers...

Where do Gerbil go on vacation?

Hamsterdam

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/World_Chaos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
🚨︎ report
I made friends with a guy from Central Europe on chess.com earlier

He's my czech mate

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinie_Snipah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
🚨︎ report
What is the tastiest bug in all of Europe?

A french fly

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youruswithwe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
🚨︎ report
I told my dad a semsester in Europe would be awesome and this is his response.

Me: Hey dad I'm thinking of studying abroad. Dad: Just make sure its the right broad hahahahaha

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/medabee120
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad sent me this when he was in Europe for a month and I was home in America. pbs.twimg.com/media/BMfrT…
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lookieitscookie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
🚨︎ report
A friend told me about her trip to Europe. On her first day there she had a very bad headache.

I said "That's probably from flying. Geese get those all the time. It's a migrating headache."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agoatforavillage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2014
🚨︎ report
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe

Kilometery Cyrus

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pratik007789
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

Kilometer Cyrus

πŸ‘︎ 238
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rollingpeanut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

Kilometery Cyrus

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billdanbury
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
🚨︎ report
How is Miley Cyrus called in Europe?

Kilometrey Cyrus.

πŸ‘︎ 128
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PandaGio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
🚨︎ report

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