I want to hear 99 people sing 'Africa' by Toto.

It's something that a hundred men or more could never do...

πŸ‘︎ 197
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
What did the man say when his trip got cancelled to Africa?

Uganda be kinding me

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i30cluy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Standing in a lake in Africa.

I told my friend I was standing in a lake in Africa. He exclaimed to em "no you're not, your in de-Nile!" sorry all.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dkkgaming
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
"Africa" by Toto isn't a country song.

It's a continent song.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What's the coolest animal of sub-Saharan Africa?

The hip Opotamus of course.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Did I tell you about my friend in Africa named Dwayne?

I haven't seen him in a while.

I miss Dwayne... down in Africa

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
My friend boasted that he domesticates cats from Africa for a living. I stopped by his work, and he was working with house cats...

He's a lyin' tamer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains

It was a Toto failure.

πŸ‘︎ 509
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I love Africa too
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nexusoftheworld
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
An electrician is contracted to do some work in Africa

He works in Africa setting up the electrical systems for the schools and hospitals that a mission is helping build. During his work there he meets a pastor and they chat and eventually become friends. One day the electrician mentions to his friend the idea that the priest should say some prayers for the system once him and his co-workers are finished setting up the electrical system.

A couple years later, the priest is at a charity event where he is talking to the various guests.

One asks "I heard you did work in Africa, what exactly did you do there?"

And the priest replies "I blessed the mains down in Africa".

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKakattack
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I didn't like Africa by Toto at first, or any of their other songs. But eventually I grew to really like them

I guess love isn't always on time

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dwrk92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.

At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Where does Africa’s deadliest killer go to school?

A hippocampus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SippinOnCoffee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
At the bar last night, sat and talked with a nice girl from Africa for hours in her native language ...

... we just clicked.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Africa's days of the week

In Africa, every day is Thirstday.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waapwgaming
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Once again the marathon winner hails from east Africa.

Kenya believe their dominance

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kamo3332
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
A goose talking to duck at the local pond. β€œMy husbands gone away for a few weeks to Africa”. β€œOh really.” Says the the Duck β€œUganda?”...

β€œNo I’m a goose. My husband is a gander”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Ever noticed that every market in Africa... is a black market
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klatkasalowa5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A herd of wildebeests was ranging across Africa, destroying huts and missionaries...

When they were all killed, the newspaper headline read, "No gnus is good news!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.

Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pparten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My 12-year-old son said, β€œWhen I was in Africa, I didn’t cut my food well enough. I got a frog in my throat.”

I added, β€œ...So you went to a witch doctor and ever since you’ve been a little horse.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/freshstart321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?" "Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, but it's not your turn Scooby!"

πŸ‘︎ 197
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I want to go and see wild animals in Africa

I just wish it wasn't sa far, eh.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Markod91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a snowman in Africa?

Water.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AgrestPL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you gamble in Africa?

Because there are too many Cheetahs!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My son told a joke about Africa at the dinner table

I said "Kenya not?".

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MalOWare
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Mario in africa
πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gimmetheloops
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I blessed the drains down in Africa
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iandouglas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was on a safari in Africa when one of the tourists asked our guide, β€œIs it difficult to spot cheetahs?”

He said, β€œNo, they usually come that way.”

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife threatened to leave me unless I stopped quoting Toto’s Africa

I told her it’s going to take a lot more than that to drag me away from you

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe Elon Musk is from South Africa

And not Madatgascar

πŸ‘︎ 676
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MiddleEarthGIS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife's leaving me because she says I have an unhealthy obsession with Africa...

Kenya believe it? I'm Ghana miss her.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Toto, I Have A Feeling We're Not In Africa Anymore

Vampire's are killed by Holy water and the reason we never hear of vampires in Africa is because they bless the Rains down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoublewubbleA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was in Africa last summer, I once spotted an albino cheetah.

The most dangerous job I ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Who do you get a book from in west Africa

A Liberian

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the cleanest animal in africa?

The hygiena

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikjb12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you learn to sing Africa?

Well, just sing it. Learn Toto by doing!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LtSnakePlissken
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that there are no vampires on the entire continent of Africa?

They can't survive since Toto blessed the rains there.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kaiju_Paul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Humanlike machinery has been discovered in Africa. These machines make funny African related puns, which some humans feel threatened by.

But if Botswana compete with me, that's fine.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are there no casinos in Africa?

Because there are too many cheetas

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Silveras918
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Man goes to Africa

Child : I’m starving

Man: Hi Starving, I’m John

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oweat10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
[OFFENSIVE CONTENT] IF NELSON MANDELA WENT IN FRONT OF THE BRITISH OFFICE IN SOUTH AFRICA AND CRIED SO BITTERLY....

Is it called emotional black male?....

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evamPUNdit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If two countries in Africa were in conflict, reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkborders
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad, can I go to East Africa?

I dunno, Kenya?

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/azureal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why aren't there any casinos in africa?

Because of all the cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/toodaysthrownaway
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Seismologists predict a 9.2 magnitude earthquake will hit the Horn of Africa region.

It will really shake Djibouti.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Historyguy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is moving to Africa to teach basic math operations to underprivileged kids.

Upvote for divisibility.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Best sign at a women's march in South Africa
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Junglejim222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Two friends go on a vacation to Africa together

They come across the river. The one friend jumps in and exclaims β€œwow the water here in Kenya is so clear!” The other man replies β€œwhat are you talking about we’re not in Kenya! We’re in Egypt.” The friend in the water says β€œno I’m absolutely sure that this is a Kenyan river.” His friend sighs β€œdude it’s an Egyptian river...you’re in denial”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dickdackduck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Africa joke

Me: Hey kids. Do you think you can handle an Africa joke?

Kids: yeah!

Me: I don’t know.....Kenya?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teaton67
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A British explorer is leading an expedition through an uncharted valley deep in Africa.

About halfway through the valley, drumbeats started rolling from the mountains around them. Everyone in the party was confused, but the local guides started to panic.

"We HAVE to get out of here by sundown, OR ELSE".

The explorer orders his men to pick up the pace, and keep moving. A couple hours later, The drums start beating more and more frantically. Again, the guides say: "Keep moving, WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE".

A bit later, the men hear horns echoing from the hills.

The explorer asks his guides: "what was that?"

They respond: "theres no time, we need to be out BEFORE SUNDOWN, we only have a few hours!!!".

Exasperated, the explorer asks "Why? What could be so urgent? And why do we have to get out by sundown?".

The guides reply, "at sundown, the bagpipe solo starts!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeb1122
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Every minute in Africa,

60 seconds passes

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Andyh10s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I bless the drains down in Africa imgur.com/gallery/u6TIQHQ
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iandouglas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
There’s a little known tribe in Africa called the Wuntu Wuntu...

They set up equipment for rock bands...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Africa glanced north and said:

"You're up!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Your-RealDad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does Valentine's Day never work in Africa?

All the lion cheetahs.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tstepko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife and I stayed in a luxury hotel last night. There were many cultural art pieces and the toilets were even imported from Africa!

https://imgur.com/a/1VVnfTN

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/readit16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are animals in Africa so smart?

They have a huge Hippo Campus

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Teacob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
On safari in Africa when we see two warthogs going at it.

Father in law says, β€œlook, there’s some fucking pigs.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the caring farmer plant his crop in Africa, Europe, Asia, North America, South America, Australia and Antarctica?

He wanted to see world peas.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/freeyourballs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know there's an antelope in Africa that can jump higher than a house?

Houses can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why aren’t there Vegas-style casinos in Africa?

Too many cheetahs.

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
🚨︎ report
In a certain part of Africa, the migratory pattern of lions heralds the changing of seasons

The people say that the lions come at the end of August with such regularity, they can begin to prepare for winter on the day they arrive. After all, The Pride comes before the fall.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormag778
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I was on a date with a girl from Africa, we spent the whole night talking in her native language...

We just clicked.. -- Jimmy Carr

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The--Fonz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear what happened in Africa today?

or Kenya not remember?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akaChromez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I were on a safari drive in South Africa...

Girlfriend: Oh, that's definitely an aardvark burrow in the termite mound.

Me: ...would you say it's an example of classic aardvarkitecture?

πŸ‘︎ 239
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mullse01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2015
🚨︎ report
TIL Elon Musk only started Tesla because he doesn't like Africa

Otherwise he would have Madagascar

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a funny man from Africa?

Malarious

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nbossner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Why is it hard to find a leopard in Africa?

They don't want to be spotted

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisl789
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
🚨︎ report
The True Size of Africa isn't Shown On Maps
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jtc66
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Why are there no casino's in Africa?

There are too many cheetas

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsMeBangle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you know that every 60 seconds in africa.....

A minute passes

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I told my dad there were no rivers in Africa

He responded "You must be in De-Nile"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_CLOCK_PICS
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Which piece of my deck furniture originated in Northern Africa?

Moroccan Chair.

Came up with this just now and made my girlfriend roll her eyes at me. Not a dad myself, but I hope you appreciate some OC!

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeauxoxo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Why is there no gambling in Africa?

Too many damn cheetahs.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OvaryActingJesus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2013
🚨︎ report
She should have gone to Africa

My half sisters were telling my dad about how his ex-wife just had surgery to replace both knees.

Dad: "She should have gone to Africa"

Sister: "Africa, why?"

Dad: "Because that's where the negro"

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinking
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad asked: Do you know what's big in Africa right now?

...Elephants

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nol44
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
🚨︎ report
His friend went to Africa

Dad: Did I tell you? One of my co-workers went on a vacation to Africa a little while ago.

Me: What? No, that's awesome!

Dad: The resort was in the style of an oasis, so when he looked out the balcony he could see the rolling desert for miles! He told me there was wildlife everywhere out there too. Said a big group of elephants went running by one night.

Me: Really? That's crazy, I'm so jealous!

Dad: Yeah. He said another went by the next day wearing a pair of sunglasses.

Me: Wait... what?

Dad: I asked him if it was the same group and he said, "I couldn't tell, they were wearing sunglasses!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/macswishbliket
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2013
🚨︎ report
"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?"

"Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Is "Africa" by Toto a country song?

No, it's a continent song.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nicholas_caged
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Africa glanced north and said:

"You're up!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Your-RealDad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are there no casinos in Africa!

Because they are too many CHEETAHS!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Firethon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Why aren't there any casinos in Africa?

Because there are too many cheetahs

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deutschbag17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
🚨︎ report
Why is there no gambling in Africa?

Too many Cheetahs!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GooLuster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
🚨︎ report

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