She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told ‘that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say he’s in da Nile
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
I'll see myself out
A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.
Because there were so many mummies.
TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:
"The earliest example of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"
...the very, very first faux toe ;)
Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects
Historians have traced the origins of flatulence jokes to ancient egypt
It turns out they all have a toot in common
The very first sex change procedures were perfected in ancient Egypt...
...they became quite skilled at making daddy's into mummy's.
Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.
If someone lived in Egypt's capitol and became a chiropractor...
... they could call themselves "The Cairo Chiro".
I hate going to Egypt
Whenever I'm there I seem to be in de-Nile
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
My friend went to Egypt and claimed he never swam in a river.
I showed him a picture and he's still in denial.
Do you know why the sphinx is in Egypt?
The sound of wind and sand is spsspsssppss sppspsssspssss.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
Archaeologist digging in a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts
Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche
Why did the Egyptians stay in Egypt instead of move somewhere greener
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.
A new mummy was found in Egypt. It was covered in chocolate and nuts.
The archeologists believe he was known as Pharaoh Rocher!
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What flavour of icecream was popular in ancient Egypt?
A soldier in egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Did you hear about the paraplegic who threw himself into the river while on vacation in Egypt?
The crowd told him he wouldn't be able to swim, but he was in denile.
Come to think of it, I heard about a guy in France doing the same thing, but I'm pretty sure he was inseine.
What‘s the first stage of grief and loss in Egypt?
I started my own cooking show in Egypt.
It's called: Wok like an Egyptian.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it's Pharaoh Roche.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts...
They believe it is Pharaoh Rocher...
Why did the man with spinal issues avoid flying to Egypt?
He didn’t think Cairo practical
I have a missed call from earlier today - it was a number I don’t recognize and my phone says it’s from “Egypt”.”
I wonder if it was someone calling from one of those “pyramid schemes.”
Had my back fixed in Egypt
Its the only place to find a good Cairopracter.
The other day, Egypt's old bus broke down. So the school used its budget to get Anubis.
I was sharing fart jokes with my penpal from Egypt. I found that we were more similar than I thought.
We must be in egypt
Because you’re in denial!
Archeologists in Egypt have recently uncovered a mummy covered in choclate and nuts
Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche
Egypt is a great place to swim
Don't believe me? You must be in deNile