The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns...

It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

EDIT: Thank you so much for my first award!

πŸ‘︎ 356
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PSN_Clamour_Kid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnster1991
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
If someone lived in Egypt's capitol and became a chiropractor...

... they could call themselves "The Cairo Chiro".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bubbazord
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
My friend went to Egypt and claimed he never swam in a river.

I showed him a picture and he's still in denial.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Do you know why the sphinx is in Egypt?

The sound of wind and sand is spsspsssppss sppspsssspssss.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
I hate going to Egypt

Whenever I'm there I seem to be in de-Nile

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?

It’s quite bazaar

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForTheMemes24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?

She was in denial

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPosket
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
Archaeologist digging in a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Christopher1295
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.

It was a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHyperthetical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Why did the Egyptians stay in Egypt instead of move somewhere greener

Denile

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..

He might have been a Far-o.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How to get through Egypt
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_am_I_am_me_2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Pie Chart Of Egypt imgur.com/8Pn0UHC
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JD762
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I love Egypt
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samoneggs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A new mummy was found in Egypt. It was covered in chocolate and nuts.

The archeologists believe he was known as Pharaoh Rocher!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the paraplegic who threw himself into the river while on vacation in Egypt?

The crowd told him he wouldn't be able to swim, but he was in denile.

Come to think of it, I heard about a guy in France doing the same thing, but I'm pretty sure he was inseine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteCubeNinja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A soldier in egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army

A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chaotic0rder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What flavour of icecream was popular in ancient Egypt?

Ra's berry.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pomegranate2012
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Whatβ€˜s the first stage of grief and loss in Egypt?

The Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I started my own cooking show in Egypt.

It's called: Wok like an Egyptian.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Axcend
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?

Sphinx wrapped

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive

Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harvest86
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Ancient Egypt
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kamekaze59
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I lost my dog in Egypt

I was swimming in denile

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daniel_evans18
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man with spinal issues avoid flying to Egypt?

He didn’t think Cairo practical

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?

A Cairopractor.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Phoenix95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a missed call from earlier today - it was a number I don’t recognize and my phone says it’s from β€œEgypt”.”

I wonder if it was someone calling from one of those β€œpyramid schemes.”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baker_esq27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts...

They believe it is Pharaoh Rocher...

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it's Pharaoh Roche.

πŸ‘︎ 305
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodceilingfan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I was sharing fart jokes with my penpal from Egypt. I found that we were more similar than I thought.

We have a Tutankhamun.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OtakuEngine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
We must be in egypt

Because you’re in denial!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_boi_gappy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The other day, Egypt's old bus broke down. So the school used its budget to get Anubis.
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsofjoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Had my back fixed in Egypt

Its the only place to find a good Cairopracter.

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GnomeLord360
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Archeologists in Egypt have recently uncovered a mummy covered in choclate and nuts

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chops9391
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Egypt is a great place to swim

Don't believe me? You must be in deNile

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/launchedcar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone offered me a free trip to Egypt if I get five people under me to also signup.

I hate pyramid schemes.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists on a dig in Egypt have uncovered a mummy dipped in chocolate and hazelnuts.

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/86Damacy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Nickname for a coffin-maker in ancient Egypt...

Sarcophaguy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmrtnt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/business_talks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Scammers went to Egypt

My wife was telling our group a story of how she and her flat-mates got screwed by their landlords (property managers, not the property owners) in England. Right before they were due to refund everyone's security deposits, they took all the money, closed the business, and buggered off to Egypt. I asked her if they set up a multilevel marketing campaign.

You know... a Pyramid Scheme?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fellwarre
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Tutankhamun must have been the least flatulent of the ancient pharaohs of Egypt.

Because his name is homophonous with "toot uncommon".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeneathYourSky
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Did people in Ancient Egypt just never pass gas...

Or was Tutankhamon?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComradeDRock
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to have a hard time admitting I went to Egypt.

I was in denial.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattTheProgrammer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Archeologists in Egypt have uncovered the tomb of a mummy that appears to be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts

It's beleived to be the long lost Pharoah Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/philbertagain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Some people say there is no river in Egypt...

... it's denial

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fromITroom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
🚨︎ report
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher...

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMonument
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
🚨︎ report
I just read that the most practiced job in Egypt is...

A Cairo-Practor

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
🚨︎ report
What's Cairo, Egypt's favorite food?

maCAIROni

I came up with this as a kid like a decade ago.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/caleeby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a doctor from Egypt?

A Cairo-practor

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bthizzle69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?

A Cairo-practor

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2016
🚨︎ report
Step one: Talk to a burning bush. Step two: Get your buddies out of Egypt. Step three: Prophet
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/musicianontherun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Looks like denial won't be a river in Egypt anymore. (x-post from geopolitics) news.nationalgeographic.c…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ksings
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Back from Egypt.

My dad came back from Egypt and we are celebrating the 4th of July. At a bbq we were eating lunch with the neighborhood. And somebody was joking about denail being great to my dad. Neighbor dad: 'well denial solves a lot of problems hahaha.'

Dad: I just came back from Egypt and I'll tell you da'NILE is pretty great!'

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crispyjay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2014
🚨︎ report
On the subject of Egypt

Dad: Did you hear the Egyptians recently discovered another buried Pharaoh?

Me: Whoa really?

Dad: Yeah. He was found covered in chocolate and wrapped in foil. They believe he was Pharaoh Rocher

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nommas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.