She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt

I’m still in de-Nile

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.

Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xXJustaGuy420Xx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told β€˜that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.

People say he’s in da Nile

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?

Pyramid schemes

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arakashi_moku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...

I'll see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 254
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D3LTAK1L0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.

Because there were so many mummies.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunarmeric
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:

"TheΒ earliest exampleΒ of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"

...the very, very first faux toe ;)

Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Historians have traced the origins of flatulence jokes to ancient egypt

It turns out they all have a toot in common

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DargeBaVarder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The very first sex change procedures were perfected in ancient Egypt...

...they became quite skilled at making daddy's into mummy's.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnster1991
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If someone lived in Egypt's capitol and became a chiropractor...

... they could call themselves "The Cairo Chiro".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bubbazord
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate going to Egypt

Whenever I'm there I seem to be in de-Nile

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?

It’s quite bazaar

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForTheMemes24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend went to Egypt and claimed he never swam in a river.

I showed him a picture and he's still in denial.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why the sphinx is in Egypt?

The sound of wind and sand is spsspsssppss sppspsssspssss.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?

She was in denial

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPosket
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Archaeologist digging in a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Christopher1295
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Pie Chart Of Egypt imgur.com/8Pn0UHC
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JD762
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the Egyptians stay in Egypt instead of move somewhere greener

Denile

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.

It was a pyramid scheme.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHyperthetical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How to get through Egypt
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_am_I_am_me_2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A new mummy was found in Egypt. It was covered in chocolate and nuts.

The archeologists believe he was known as Pharaoh Rocher!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I love Egypt
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samoneggs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..

He might have been a Far-o.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What flavour of icecream was popular in ancient Egypt?

Ra's berry.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pomegranate2012
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A soldier in egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army

A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chaotic0rder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the paraplegic who threw himself into the river while on vacation in Egypt?

The crowd told him he wouldn't be able to swim, but he was in denile.

Come to think of it, I heard about a guy in France doing the same thing, but I'm pretty sure he was inseine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteCubeNinja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Ancient Egypt
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kamekaze59
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Whatβ€˜s the first stage of grief and loss in Egypt?

The Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I started my own cooking show in Egypt.

It's called: Wok like an Egyptian.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Axcend
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?

Sphinx wrapped

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive

Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harvest86
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I lost my dog in Egypt

I was swimming in denile

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daniel_evans18
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?

He rammed everything that he sees

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it's Pharaoh Roche.

πŸ‘︎ 300
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodceilingfan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?

A Cairopractor.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Phoenix95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts...

They believe it is Pharaoh Rocher...

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the man with spinal issues avoid flying to Egypt?

He didn’t think Cairo practical

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a missed call from earlier today - it was a number I don’t recognize and my phone says it’s from β€œEgypt”.”

I wonder if it was someone calling from one of those β€œpyramid schemes.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baker_esq27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Had my back fixed in Egypt

Its the only place to find a good Cairopracter.

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GnomeLord360
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
🚨︎ report
The other day, Egypt's old bus broke down. So the school used its budget to get Anubis.
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsofjoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I was sharing fart jokes with my penpal from Egypt. I found that we were more similar than I thought.

We have a Tutankhamun.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OtakuEngine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
We must be in egypt

Because you’re in denial!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_boi_gappy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Archeologists in Egypt have recently uncovered a mummy covered in choclate and nuts

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chops9391
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Egypt is a great place to swim

Don't believe me? You must be in deNile

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/launchedcar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.