Remember the band that did that rock cover of β€œwalk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?

Pharaohsmith.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.

Her: What can I do for you?

Me: I'm looking for a date.

Her: Oh, what kind of dates?

Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gliscor_dude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
What does an Egyptian goose say?

Ankh, ankh!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
When are Egyptian fishermen less likely to believe what their are told? /r/Jokes/comments/km3t07/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badaloop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a Marine if he knew about Egyptian gods.

He said, β€œwho, ra?”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone have any Egyptian jokes?

I am in a roasting war and in need of assistance.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sgper18
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,

But they were such lyres.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?

ANUBUS

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/obenssonosias
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the egyptians have trouble with acceptance?

Because the were in de-Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Reader91-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when the vehicle carrying most of the Egyptian gods breaks down?

They have to pull over and wait for Anubis.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Foxadelick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when two Egyptians fart at the same time?

Tutankhamen

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesometoenails
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Egyptian pie
πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SethGrimly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when two ancient Egyptians fart at the same time?

Toot in common

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HoldMyDirrk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Egyptian royal family that had harmonious flatulence?

They had a little toot-in-common.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?

The Nile-ist

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.

They were pharaoh faucet majors.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonHeinie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they just diacovered an Egyptian mummy that was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts?

It's a pharaoh rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Egyptian Council Leader: the public transport in Cairo is terrible.

Egyptian Transport Secretary: We need a new bus

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
An ancient Egyptian queen with an especially flat chest was recently discovered.

Nevertiti.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.

Operation Toot And Calm β€˜Em will last a week.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Egyptian riverboat captains tend to be flat-earthers?

Because they live in da Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trippy-puppy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the two gassy Egyptians become friends?

Because they had a toot-in-common

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she is thinking about selling Egyptian rocks.

It sounds like a pyramid scheme to me

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when an Egyptian doesn't agree with you?

Being in De-Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/W1DD3XY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Egyptian man wrongfully insist that he was still on land?

He was in de-nile

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LooseMonty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?

Pharaoh Rocher

πŸ‘︎ 392
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evac95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who studies ancient Egyptian plumbing?

A Pharaoh Faucet Major.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berryville_con
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Egyptian that believes life is meaningless?

A nileist

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N64GC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I once saw an Egyptian pharaoh honk his horn and put his bum cheeks up to the window of his vehicle.

It was a toot and car moon.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
So I travelled back in time, and was told THE BEST joke by ancient egyptians

I laughed historically!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucab_lesp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Egyptian blog post
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orqa
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I was having some back issues, so I went to my Egyptian friend

He's a cairopractor

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PopeShashcan49
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Egyptian doctor

A cairopracter

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lebron_jamisom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Our local undertaker is Egyptian.

His motto is satisfaction guaranteed or your mummy back.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the ancient Egyptians have such great posture?

There had an abundance of Cairo-practors

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dogdare
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Brit, a Laotian, a Colombian, an American, an Indian, and a Egyptian wall into a fancy restaurant...

The doorman turns them back, saying β€œI’m sorry. We can’t let you in without a Thai.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Egyptian architect turned con man?

A Pyramid Schemer

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cygamer002
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a very interesting ancient Egyptian blog post describing the embalming process

It was on Tombler.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the Egyptian get out of her abusive relationship?

She was still in de-Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HiRedditHiReddit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two Egyptian guys farting at the same time?

Tootincommon

πŸ‘︎ 190
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thrillho333
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Help, can someone help me make my elevator pitch more interesting, and can anyone think of a good Egyptian related pun to put as an opener?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScareOdin00608
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Egyptians stay in Egypt instead of move somewhere greener

Denile

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to see an Egyptian doctor to try and fix my back...

He's a Cairo-practor...

πŸ‘︎ 956
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did ancient Egyptian kings use to attract females?

Pharaoh moans.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Egyptians are so sad?

Because they live in misery (Ω…Ψ΅Ψ±ΩŠ)

Note for the non Arabic speakers:

Egypt = miSr (Ω…Ψ΅Ψ±)

Egyptian = miSrii (Ω…Ψ΅Ψ±ΩŠ)

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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