I asked my Chinese friend what it's like to live in China

He says he can't complain

πŸ‘︎ 266
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chinese man who has lost his sense of direction.

Wong Wei.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sickycrimson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24
🚨︎ report
Do you want to know a joke about the Chinese government?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 961
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alphamaya43
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
They gave me a fork because I'm not Chinese.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Have you seen that new Chinese/Mediterranean restaurant started by that guy from Cairo?

It's called Wok like an Egyptian.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladin_Aranaos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
What do you say when the Chinese are being fascists in Tiananmen?

No tank, you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snicklefreetz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
What kind of shoe does a Chinese cow wear?

Mooshoe (mushu)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepigeonparadox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20
🚨︎ report
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...

"Don’t wok away from me!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovethebigones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23
🚨︎ report
My name’s David, but my Chinese friends call me Dawei.

I guess that’s just dawei it is.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deceze
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
How did the thief get home from the Chinese restaurant?

He took a wok.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
How do you say toy in Chinese?

Atoi

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kebebeb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
How Long is a Chinese name

No seriously, it is

πŸ‘︎ 376
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Chinese fire eater,

Bernie Tung?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
A lot of Chinese people enjoy discussing their love of citrus.

They particular like to talk all things Mandarin.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20
🚨︎ report
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: β€œIsn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:

β€œIt’s junk”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
If Cassius Clay used a Chinese app to send money, would you call it AliPay?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cephas11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
Chinese place.
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant

Is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.

"Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?", he says.

The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."

The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . "

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
How much does a Chinese elephant weigh?

Wonton

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kaboose-4-2-0-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
Chinese synthesize new element which causes a 500% increase rate of panda mating

It's panda-moan-ium.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Psyched_to_Learn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
The puns at this Chinese place are out of control
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puppylove1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
I was watching a documentary on Chinese engineering.

They were discussing the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River, the worlds largest hydroelectric dam.

My wife walks in and asks, β€œIs that the Hoover Dam?”

Me: β€œNo, it’s the Three Gorges Dam in China.”

Her: β€œOh, I guess all dams just look alike.”

Me: β€œHoney, don’t be a dam racist!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainPhD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says

"Well prayed"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between baseball and Chinese martial arts?

In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanhedge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Your Chinese restaurant is too bright...

...maybe you should dimsum.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
How Long is a Chinese man's name.

Yes it is.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightHawk37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
how long is a Chinese name

got it ? :D

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I had some mediocre Chinese chicken

It was tso-tso

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chronicsonictonic
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
A Chinese restaurant is pillaged...

It was wonton vandalism.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
What will a chinese grill use when a wok is too slow

A wun

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dred_not
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I can speak Chinese fluently.

/ˌCHīˈnΔ“z/

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FroBekleckOrbys
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Why do Chinese couples adopt caucasian children?

Because two Wongs don’t make a White

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dose172
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
How long is a Chinese name.

It really is.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegasketmaker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
How do you get a Chinese communist to defect?

You tie one

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Hau Long is a Chinese man.

Present it as a question. I just remembered my grandfather would "ask" me this joke and I never got it 'til I was older.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/miscmouse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
What Chinese cooking utensil is carbon-neutal, vegan and gluten free?

A woke

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vicdomen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
Chinese Pilots
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
My Chinese girlfriend

My Chinese girlfriend is not like everyone, Schezwan of a kind.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_basu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
What do Jews put on their Chinese food?

Oy sauce!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
As a Chinese in Wuhan, I'm finally able to see my family!

Wait... that's not my family... neither is that...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Dad, showing me his pinky : "Did you know that the Chinese don't have that finger ?" Me : "What ? No." Dad : "wanna know why ?" Me: "yeah"

It's because it's MY pinky.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sthymia20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A Friend and I Decided to open a Chinese Cookie Business

We're going to make fortunes

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pidyon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
I told my Granddaughter be careful with that Chinese take out soup it’s heavy-

It’s Won-Ton

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boipaul27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the Joker became a Chinese chef?

He's now known as 'Woking Phoenix'

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingprawnsct
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chinese sickness?

Kung Flu.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redblooded55
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Chinese knock offs are never as good as the original.

Although, their Corona has better PR announcements than Mexico’s

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duckthedoc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
The Chinese Coronavirus is really starting to kick people’s ass worldwide.

Should call it, Kung Flu.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DGNOLA12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
What happened to the lions neck at the Chinese market?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TSRshiku
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chinese vampire?

Mr. Fang.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deeptechnology
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh ?

Wonton

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
What did the Chinese man love to do with his dog?

Take it for a wok.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Frickin_GotG
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Chinese takeout? $15

Gas? $1.50

Getting home and finding out they forgot a dish? Riceless

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the 2000 lb Chinese guy?

He weighed wonton.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a storage space in a Chinese restaurant?

A wok in closet.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Akhi11eus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
How much does the average Chinese appetizer weigh?

Wonton.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilkc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Trump has just issued Boris Johnson a final warning about allowing Chinese technology in their phone system

He told him "it's my way or the Huawei"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
The name of the best Chinese architect in the world is...

Bill Ding

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yoddie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I pushed a chinese person down a flight of stairs

It was wong on so many levels

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sirdafiga
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How many characters are there in Chinese?

7

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snoresville
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Chinese coronavirus?

You mean Kung-flu?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/R3DW01F728
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
I found a terrific online course for cooking Chinese food.

It’s called β€˜Wok This Way.’

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I ordered 2000lbs of Chinese soup

It was Won Ton

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealZy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A Chinese Turducken?
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phlogiston78
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My friends decided to have a Chinese New Year x Burn’s Night Party. They called it Chinese Burns Night.

I didn’t agree to it at first but eventually they twisted my arm.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilPianoBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
I Love Chinese Food.

Wontonly.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call Chinese food from Europe

Sweden sour chicken

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gay_is_gay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
The lights in the Chinese restaurant were too bright

so I asked if they could dim sum.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chinese dragon's beard?

Low mane

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AminesToAnEnd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A Chinese restaurant in the neighborhood had to shut down because of high levels of arsenic in their dumplings.

Such wonton disregard for public health, I tell you.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluewhiskers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Chinese child that's depressed?

Youth in Asia

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Innarhythm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I plan to open a 24 hour Chinese restaurant.

I’m going to name it Wok Around the Clock.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RichyCigars
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Chinese investor's favorite food?

Beef mutual fun

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
Why do Chinese parents always have Chinese children?

Two Wongs dont make a white.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pewptrain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our friend Ty is now the state boxing champion.

The Chinese don’t want to recognize Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Chinese quadrublet flight pioneers?

No you didn't. Two Wongs doesn't make one Wright.

Also, edit before anyone sees this: Yes, it's spelled quadruplet. I'm mildly drunk and I can't edit the title.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How Long is a Chinese name.
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PoopMonster696969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How Long Is A Chinese Name
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/friesful
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How Long is a chinese name
πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryonnsan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
How Long is a Chinese name.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Donnakebabmeat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2018
🚨︎ report

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