What type of blood do people from Taiwan have?

Taipei

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...

Pho Ton Torpedoes.

(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalprof
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I met this real workaholic from Taiwan

A real Taipei personality

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnittyGrittyy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Why is giving blood easy in Taiwan?

Because everyone is Taipei.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeek-lukhulu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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I've always wanted to visit Taiwan

I guess I have a Taipei personality.

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πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Back in Taiwan, I had a pair science project to make a miniature biplane. His last name was the same as mine.

And in the end, two Wongs made a Wright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2017
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In the capital of Taiwan I met so many Taipei personalities.

.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewszabo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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Why is Taiwan so prosperous?

They have a lot of Taipei personalities.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neurotocsin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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There's lots of ambitious businessmen in Taiwan's capital.

It's full of Taipei personalities.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubus_Leucodermis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2016
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Why did the uptight guy move to Taiwan?

He had a Taipei personality.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Red-Dog
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
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My workaholic friend in Taiwan just had a heart attack.

I mean, i hope he recovers, but what do you expect with a taipei personality

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
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China has invaded Taiwan...

...The UN must condemn this act of wonton aggression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
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If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN

You get them VERY ANGRY

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo4lifee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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eBay is so useless

I tried to look up lighters and all they had were 13,570 matches

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puranjay1432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gambitK9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearfeedmitch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.

My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.

My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.

4yo: "I like your shirt mama!

Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?

4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shade0217
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Do you know why the French eat just one egg for breakfast?

Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamizander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, ...

an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

The doorman stops the

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainz4Dayz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.

I don’t understand how she can feel that way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rafwaf123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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I bought a ceiling fan the other day.. COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY!

He just stands there applauding and saying β€œOoh, I love how smooth it is”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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What do you call karate for amputees?

Partial Arts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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How many hands am I holding up?

If you ever accidentally smack your kid in the face and they say ow my eyes is blurry, or if they bump their face etc

Say β€œah buddy u ok? Can u see? How many hands am I holding up?

Then proceed to hold up one hand with four fingers.

The kid will most often say 4. Then you make the dad face.

β€œ4 hands!?!? Yah we might have a problem!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuskIsAlien
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call paper you can’t trust?

A sketch pad

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My friend and I where discussing how certain names will never enter certain cultures. He asked if there was ever a Korean Juan? I said no, but...

There’s a Taiwan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our friend Ty is now the state boxing champion.

The Chinese don’t want to recognize Ty won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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What country never wins or loses

Thailand.( Credit to my brothers who dosent use reddit).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragod0005
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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I thought they'd never end. (Facebook pun chain) imgur.com/kw98QQF
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakersOrigin
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2013
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2 Friends named Ryan and Dave were fixing up a car. They’re Country-Geeks by day, and Racers by night.

Ryan: Are you Finnished yet?

Dave: No, but you bet I’m Russian to fix it! Israelly confusing. Kenya help me out?

R: Sure.

Car makes weird sound

R: Guatemala with the car?

D: I’m Czeching it out, and it seems like something’s wrong with a piston or two. You got any ideas, because Iran out. What a Spain. Oh well, let’s put some elbow Greece and try to finish it by tonight.

R: I hope so. Damn, tonight is a Chile one.

D: Yep, and it’s definitely China distract me.

R: I’m kinda Hungary, I want Togo buy a sandwich or two.

Later

R: Oman, it’s already 9 Pm, there’s Norway that we can fix it by tonight.

D: That’s what we are Guinea find out.

R: I will Taiwan more way to speed things up, but it’s pretty risky.

D: Well, we somehow Ghana find out. 10:30 Pm

R: Ok, Tur the Key!

Car turns on

D: Yes! The Caribb is ean! Uganda be kidding me! I can’t Bolivia did it!

R: Hey, I can’t Belize it either!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnThePekka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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My dad went a bit overboard; he bought ten different silk ties during his stay in China.

I think he should have stopped at Taiwan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mechaxis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
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Why did the Asian lose one of his shoes?

Because he could only Taiwan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeroSaitama87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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Why was the Chinese guy always stressed out?

He had a Taipei personality.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grnxnhm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
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Extreme Pun Combo

Don't wanna be Obama self. I'm just China to make you happy. Yes, my pun Israel. Norway I'm lying, Syria stuff. You guys Ghana have to Czech these puns. Okay, I think I will Finnish now. I think Alaska guy to help me out because I’m Havana hard time. You have no India how long it took me to make these puns, but I hope they'll help Sweden your day because I Canada think of one anymore. Oman, I think Iran out of ideas Irish I can think of Samoa. I think my Bahrain can’t think of one anymore but Taiwan this to continue. I want Tibet that there are better things to do now. I Belize it’s time to put an end to these puns because I’m Oslo getting Bordeaux this. African hate these puns I want Togo because I Amsterdam tired. I’m Sudan with puns now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpareDestruction
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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How do you drink to excess in the Republic of China?

You Taiwan on!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigwhistle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
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Never thought my dad would do it

My parents are both immigrants from Taiwan and came in the mid 80's. We've always owned restaurants (currently have a Japanese steak house this is important for later) so their English isn't all that bad and has improved over time. I've never gotten a single dad joke from him. Ever.

Que yesterday we are driving home from a family dinner to celebrate his birthday. We all get into the vehicle and my mom says in Chinese "You've got something hanging onto your shirt, it looks stringy. Is that a spider web?"

I respond, "What? That's his pet, he can't raise a pet spider?"

Dad says, "Yeah I raise them really big and fat so we can make spider rolls at the restaurant." (Spider roll is typically softshell crab in a roll with other stuffs for the non-sushi fans out there)

I groaned, chuckled, then reveled in all that was my first dad joke. It was awesome. Thanks for reading guys! Sorry it's so long.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DROpher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2015
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Taiwan blood donor..

...Taipei type A.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwmillman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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What blood type do people from Taiwan have?

Taipei

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jojo40605
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
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Why are people in Taiwan's capital so serious?

They all have Taipei personalities.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pursuitofstumble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
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