A ssssssshhh kebab.
If you ask me, that's pointless.
He was Burak rat.
Dance partner: "Isn't it a little early for Thanksgiving?"
I was sitting on a bench cuddling a cat after the end of school. Suddenly, an old man with sunglasses encountered me and made a pun.
Here's the conversation:
Tonight at dinner, he was telling me about the book he got at the library. He totally deadpanned it.
Son: I got this game book called Club Penguin at the library.
Me: I've never heard of that, what is it.
Son: It's a place you get free books.
...an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I... keep reading on reddit ➡
The nurse asked him "You've been fasting, right?" To which he replied: "I've been going pretty slowly, actually."
>You better tell this captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
>A hospital! What is it?
>It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Used to be on ITV if my memory serves me correctly. One of the pieces involved going up to random shoppers at the mall and trying to get them to eat sheep testicles. The host approached a foreign looking chap and asked "are you peckish?" to which he answered "no, I'm Turkish".
We've just finished our thanksgiving shopping, when we pass by the Turkish embassy. My dad then exclaims, "I guess that's where we should've gotten the turkey!"
My mom: "Look at all that rushing water!"
My dad: "How do you know it's not turkish?"
. . .
Backstory: my buddy's brother is in the military in Turkey and I was asking how he was when their dad dropped this one on me.
Me: "How's your brother doing in Turkey?"
Friend: "Good but the language barrier kills him, I think they speak Farsi."
Me: "I thought they spoke Turkish?"
Friend's dad: "Actually they speak gobble gobble!"
So my girlfriend goes to her friend's house and spends the night. In the morning her friend's parents always make them eggs, toast, etc. When the friend's dad comes out and pulls out a pack of turkey bacon.
Dad: "Do you guys want any bacon? Here we have some Turkish bacon."
-digs around in refrigerator-
"......and this is the Pig-ish bacon!"
My girlfriend said nobody laughed but her and the dad. Everyone looked at her like she was "lame." I thought it was gold.