Are German puns allowed??
I often worry about German sausages
Basically I fear the wurst.
Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)
How does two German car enthusiast cowboys greet each other?
Hey, German speakers. What do Germans call Mayor McCheese?
I have an irrational fear of being in a small room, packed with Germans.
I told my doctor and he said I have Klaustrophobia.
How do German Bakers say hello?
A English man, a Spaniard, a French man, and a German. Go to a club. The guy on stage asks if they can see him. They said
My brother said he would gift me either a short sleeved shirt or a German sausage.
I hope for the vest but expecting the wurst.
I bought a German shepherd today and named him Lord.
Now I can truly say the Lord is my shepherd
Two Germans are a bar in London
"Two martinis, please."
I really hope I don't get addicted to German sausage again
Those days were the Wurst.
“Dad, can you count in German?”
Did you know what did the Grrman Bread said to another German Bread after tapping on his shoulder ?
edit : i fucked up the title
How does the German baker greet people?
Winning a German sausage eating contest is all about your mind set
You hope for the best, but prepare for the wurst
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. We are very efficient and not funny.
I'm developing a fear of German sausages
Had to remove a load of German names and stuff from my pre-owned iPhone..
Germans are so childish, they always play with their food.
A pun for all the German speakers here
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, they are very efficient and have no sense of humor.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
What did the man say to the sad German egg noodle?
You'll always be spaetzle to me!
I’ve been trying to pick up on German humor recently.
What did the Germans say when they lost WW2?
Whenever I'm sad my German friend throws bread at me
A nice game of gluten tag always cheers me up.
How do you say unintended pregnancy in German?
My son asked me if i could count numbers in German.
what do you call a blind German
I received an email today from the owner of a German sausage processing plant, he said I could have it for only 1000€
I agreed and wired him the money. What’s the wurst that could happen?
Why was the German boy sad when sister ran away with his 3-Musketeers Candy Bar ??
Because he was Far-from-nougat!
What do you call a blind german...
What do you call a female german baker?
When writing in German, is the word for sausage capitalised or not?
It’s a wurst case scenario.
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
What is it called when you spend an hour in the bookstore browsing for German philosophers?
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers
How do Celiac Germans greet eachother?
A German friend of mine actually installed a bath around his desk !?..
My grandpa was responsible for downing 43 German planes in WW2.
To this day he still holds the record as the worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe.
Got told this one is scouts a long time ago. If you’re Russian when you’re walking in the bathroom and German when you come out, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?
What do Germans think of sausages?
What did the Germans say when Hitler killed himself?
What do you call a meme made by a grateful german?
I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophers’ names
Glad I found my Nietzsche niche
A German car manufacturer walks into a saloon
What do you call an angry German
Everyone says that German sausages are the best
I think they’re the wurst
I've heard the german army only liked one type of pastry.
Where will you find a happy naysayer German?
I wanted to go over to my German girlfriend's house at 8:51...
But she said "nein" to nine to nine.
Why don’t Germans teach algebra in school?
Nobody can understand the Bavariables!
How many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Because Germans do not have humor.
Why did the blind German mistakenly support Hitler?
He thought he was a fellow member of the Not See Party.
A group of German geologists recently made an interesting discovery within a mountain range of northern Italy
The team unearthed a layer of rock tessellations resembling a violin as viewed from behind.
As of yet they have no name for this strata variance.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are sitting in a room...
...a man enters and asks them "Can you see me?" and they respond;
How do you talk with a German?
You co-munich-cate with them.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
I painted a German Shepherd
I know 10 words in German.
But I can only pronounce nein.
How does German bread introduce itself?
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
Went to a German dentist convention where they wanted donations of metals.
I told them “Nein, out of tin.” Dentists agreed.
What do you call a German virus?
What kind of joke did the German dad tell his kid before bed
German children are kinder
Have you heard of that German sausage?
Germans have a word for everything..
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are standing, watching a street performer do some juggling.
The performer notices they have a rather poor view, so stands on a large box, asking 'Can you see me better now?'
Anyone hear that joke about German sausages?
What game do German kids play in the morning?
German kids may always be kinder...
...but kids in a pastry shop tend to be cruller.
The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...
Why are kids only like German sausages?
What is the German word for constipation ?
What do you call a blind German?
TIL about a sneak attack in WWII, in which Norway’s Skiing Soldiers deprived the German army of the atomic bomb.
What's is called when Germans reproduce?
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They’re efficient and not very funny.
An American ship is sinking off the German coast.
The captain goes to use the radio to get help and says “we’re sinking! We’re sinking!”
The German operator answers “what are you sinking about?”
The German government is advising residents to stock up on sausage and cheese due to the Covid pandemic.
They're calling it a wurst-käze scenario.
Did you hear about the blind German from the 1940s?
German sausage is the wurst
How do you greet a German baker?
What do you call a blind german?