European Pun!

I have Moldova European puns and there is Norway Ukraine diss them, Andorra idiot if you try.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/painya
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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I was wearing a soccer jersey in the bathroom and this guy walks in and asks 'European?'

And I said 'Nope I'm a peein''

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoffisFly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What European people make the best explorers for Antarctica?

The Polish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoeDownClown
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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I have a European friend that I play chess with.

He’s my Czech-mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeblout_72
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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I have a European friend who I play chess with

... Or as I like to call him, my Czech mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubcekD
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Help! As a European dad, I don't understand this sub
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrow-s
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I got my family this new type of fancy European yogurt.

I hope it makes us more cultured.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reepicheep08
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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If other European countries were to leave the EU
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toiletpaper007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Did you hear about the eastern European country that stopped being a democracy?

They were Hungary for change!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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There’s a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, β€œAre you a pole vaulter?”

The man says, β€œActually, I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ST3RR
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Against my better judgement, I ordered a European bride. When I called and asked how long I'd have to wait, they told me...

"The Czechs in the mail."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Which country really controls European currency?

Ger-money

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rover359
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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I heard the European Parliament wanted to ban all plastic items

I'm afraid they're grasping at straws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoS42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I recently made a fluffy, delicious European breakfast entree, but when I finished eating it I had a stomach ache.

It was a Belchin Waffle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawall12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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What unit do European cats use to measure volume?

Kitti-liter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hackmark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Oh those Europeans. Such wit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captainspookle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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β€œDad, do all European countries drive on the right?”

Dad: Yes, the Brits left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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Two Europeans walk into a strip club in America. The bouncer asks β€œYou want the smoking or non-smoking area?”

β€œOh we want the hottest girls you got”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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my great grandfather was a very poor eastern european, starving on the streets

some say he's still hungary to this day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iisowo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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What do you call an eastern European cosmetic?

Nail polish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moses1Eye
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Which Europeans are the best at burping contests?

Belgians.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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A European woman told me how tall she was in cm. I asked what that was in Imperial units

She said she can't do that "foreign height".

I told her, "No, that's for temperature. Tall is feet and inches!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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My Australian friend and I were playing chess while talking about which European country we should travel to

He said "Czech mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealComradeMeep
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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If European

Then I'ma poopin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeothermicLSD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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So I was in a hostel playing chess with a European guy when an Aussie comes up and says...

"There's no way you'll win."

"Why?"

"Because he's Czech, mate."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caledonius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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If you're Hungary for Turkey with Greece, then European.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NINJAQKk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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What was North America called long before the Europeans arrived?

USB C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gar_gar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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In which European city was oldest donut discovered: Paris, London, Berlin, Athens or Rome?

It was found in ancient grease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Europeans don't have foot fetishes...

They have meter fetishes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wombat1892
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Three European contrabass players were denied access to USA at the airport customs

They wouldn't let contraband enter the country.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plaineman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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What do Japanese and Europeans call the first book of the Bible?

The Mega Drive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Mariposa5487
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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How do eastern Europeans save while playing video games

They reach czechpoints

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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The British parliament finally approved the final draft of the Brexit letter to the European Union.

It’s not EU, it’s me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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The European Union is disgusting. Don't believe me?

Say EU real fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/disconformity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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TIL Santa Claus is European..

North Polish to be exact

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wompwompah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
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What do you call a European Miley Cyrus

A kilometery Cyrus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeycookie33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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I have an european friend. He was hungry

I told him to go finnish his dinner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dat_Percy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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Everyone knows santa is European right?

North Polish to be precise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
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It's too bad that the Spanish were the first Europeans to settle in what is now San Francisco.

It would have been an ideal location for the Quakers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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The European Union is held together by EU rope
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Richboy12345
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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I was Russian to the bathroom but I saw European.

Sorry.

^Also ^^what ^^^are ^^^^you ^^^^^doing ^^^^^^in ^^^^^^^my ^^^^^^^^bathroom???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0xFFF1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
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My european friend always beats me at chess, I wouldn't bother playing him...

...But he's my Czech mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
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Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognized none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it," he

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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What do you call a European Slinky? Poland Spring...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DuckDuckYoYo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
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So this European comedy group is working on a movie with a bizarre plot - apparently a famous rock guitarist and drummer gains control of the weather and sends it haywire.

The movie is going to be called, Monty Python and the Grohly Hail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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What happened when the last European volcano erupted?

It Bratislava.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTubbs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2017
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European?

I'm a poopin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/that_JP
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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Where do European mice have their birthday parties?

Czechy Cheese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacellist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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The Schiaparelli Mars Lander exploded on impact with Mars, the European Space Agency announced...

The Lander is now known as Scraparelli.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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What do you call a plant that is cooked too much in a European country?

Swiss charred Swiss chard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnysmart
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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Why don't Europeans like to pay with cash?

Because they have a lot of Czechs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_a_theorist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2016
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Touring the "medieval torture and execution" section of an old European castle, when I dropped this one...

"The guillotine truly was cutting-edge technology at the time."

A dad within earshot said he appreciated my sharp wit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowthunder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
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I had a heart attack in a European bathroom.

It wasn't major, the doctors say I'll live to see another bidet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bob_Buttersworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
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What do Brits think of European driving?

It's all-right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/9192631770f
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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What do you call my Eastern European buddy who plays chess?

My Czech mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PacifistSocialist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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What do you call a European Country with the lllaaaadies...?

The CHICKrepublic!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2016
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Why does everyone always say Europeans are soooooo far ahead of Americans?

They're only ahead of us by about 5-6 hours.

I'll see myself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajustyle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2015
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European languages in class

13 year old, trying to be funny: Doesn't "oui, oui" in French mean "I have to go to the bathroom?" (nobody laughs)

Me: sounds like you need to brush up on your "European" languages. (over pronounced you're - a - peein'")

Everybody but the kid laughed. someone had to explain it to him. It was great.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
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Why are Eastern Europeans always getting into wrecks on their way to work?

Because they're Russian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Framski55
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
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European? What's the difference between European and Imapean?

Dad Joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boflava17
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
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How much space will Brexit free up from the European Union?

1 GB

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValerieCreed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkysocks999
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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What was America called before the Europeans arrived?

USB C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gar_gar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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