Do you know what someone says when they have no access to Swedish furniture stores?

I have no IKEA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius_M
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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When you're at the urinals, it doesn't matter of you're French, German, Spanish or Swedish

European

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Did you hear about the Swedish car company that went bust in 2012?

It’s your typical Saab story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thrasher555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My neighbor drones on and on about his notoriously unreliable Swedish sports car...

It seems like a great big Saab story to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Swedish people like to add syrup to their espresso.

It Swedens the coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnChanted96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Why do Swedish war ships have barcodes painted in the side?

So when they come in they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thee-lorax-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I was reading a book about Swedish cars.

It was quite the Saab story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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My friend from Paris was the best man at the wedding of a Belgian waffle heir and a Swedish pancake tycoon, but wasn’t allowed to give a speech at the reception.

They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-kant_even
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Did you know that the ships in the Swedish navy have barcodes on them?

It’s so when they come back they can Scandinavian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerFluff27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Swedish Fish

They aren't sweet, just sweet-ish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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What do Swedish people put in their coffee?

Artifical Swedeners

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I'm surprised people in the Swedish capital are so reluctant to go on lockdown

You'd think they were used to being stuck home

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhinosorcery
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Why do the Norwegian, Swedish and Danish Navies have barcodes on their ships?

So that when they come to port, they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReal_BlueBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I was going to post about how much trouble my Swedish car has been . . .

...but I guess nobody really wants to hear that old Saab story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Broadway has a new show that combines magic with the tunes of a 70’s Swedish Pop Band

It’s called ABBA-Cadabra.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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why did the Swedish racer lose the race

because he couldn't cross the finnish line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wesamzxc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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What do you call an angry, yet polite Swedish person?

bitterswede.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFailureKing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What did the Swedish hedge say to the other Swedish hedge?

Hej

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gitrikt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Why does the Swedish navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So they can Scandinavian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GymLadJack
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Swedish astronomer Andres Celcius died in 1744 at the age of 43.

Though his rival, Fahrenheit, was convinced he was 103.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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If a bunch of Swedish guys made up a rock band,

They would be known as 'Sirs Drumming'

Bad joke and pun intended on the infamous Swedish fish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg.

Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city, deciding to let Bydgoszcz be Bydgoszcz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolindbe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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What do you call a city without a Swedish furniture store?

I have no IKEA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aka_acronym
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Why do Swedish warships have barcodes painted on their hulls?

So that when they return to port, the authorities can Scandinavian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lt_PeteMitchell1
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Today I found out that the Swedish navy has giant bar codes on the side of their ships,

so when they return they have to Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Le_Monss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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My son was eating out of a bag of Swedish Fish

On Christmas my aunt gave my son a small box of Swedish fish which he immediately devoured. At the moment he threw the empty box on the coffee table I looked at it with wide eyes and said, "Oh look! Now they're Finnish!" He didn't get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Polabeya
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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[ACTUAL QUOTE] A$AP Rocky was released from Swedish prison today. Donald Trump's tweet in response to his release:

"A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gentlesir123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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What does the Swedish Chef cook for Sunday lunch?

Pork pork pork!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanTorch23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Why do Swedish war-ships have bar codes on the sides?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterof80smetal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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Did you hear about the Swedish national cross-country marathon?

The winner was the first to cross the Finnish line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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The Swedish Armada started painting barcodes on the side of their ships.

That way when they are at port they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/conditackler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SendNachos412
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Where did the Swedish cross country race end?

The Finnish line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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I introduced a friend of mine to Swedish cuisine.

"Mashed potatoes, meatballs. Balls, meet mashed potatoes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DankOfTheEndless
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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Why do they put barcodes on Swedish battleships?

So when they arrive in port, they can scan da navy in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ukemi-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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The Swedish navy has started putting bar codes on there ships.

That way they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murdock431
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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Q: Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them?

A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa-Dam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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If you're pretending to be Swedish don't use the name "Splenda". They'll know you are an artificial Sweden-er
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pm_me_anything___
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
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I totaled my swedish car today...

But you don't want to hear my Saab story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thepopcornrider
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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A Swedish woman, two Swedish men and another Swedish woman...

...walk into ABBA...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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How do you count Swedish musicians?

With an Abbacus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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I like my meatballs sweet, but not too sweet. I like them swedish.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heavyduty1930
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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A Swedish man was selling cars...

when a man came by and said the price was insane. The Salesman offered him a second car free with it. The man, baffled, replied with "Well, that sure does Sweden the deal!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCoolman78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2014
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Why don't Swedish people need to worry about security in marine events?

Because they scan the navy in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardedDeath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
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Why do Swedish ships have barcodes?

So they can scandinavian.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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If you're pretending to be Swedish don't use the name "Splenda". They'll know you are an artificial Sweden-er.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pm_me_anything___
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
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