Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anukrit_Subedi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked β€œcan you see me ok?”

To which they answered β€œyes” β€œoui” β€œsi” β€œja”.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
what do you call an american bee?

a usb

πŸ‘︎ 626
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.

They were Inca hoots.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blahblorb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
A very patriotic friend who I thought loved everything American just told me he preferred Eurpoean spellings

He's finally shown me his true colours.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retrohero5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.

I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.

But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Despite waging war in Afghanistan, most Americans can't name its capital.

It's kinda hard.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamer_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a computer and an American?

The American doesn’t have any troubleshooting

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueslidepark94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
an American IT specialist was beaten even though he had a gun with him

He had troubleshooting

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GSterian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Who goes on adventures with Lara Croft but is also pretty good at American Football?

Tomb Raidy

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Why did the American pass out in a Canadian bar?

He saw an ad that read "Drink Canada Dry", so he thought he would give it a try.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Camomile is a drink for Americans

Camokilometer is the preferred choice in England

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tawdry-eloquence
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
An American man went to Germany for a vacation.

As he arrived, he decided to go fishing, so he did. But tragedy struck and his boat hit a rock, making a hole. The man, as anyone would do, called the coast guard and yelled "IM SINKING IM SINKING!"

the German Coast Guard casually replied, "what are you sinking about?"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pidgeon-eater-69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
As an American, it's disappointing that so few people wear vests

Especially since our founding fathers made it a point to guarantee us the right to bare arms

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
An American is working out

β€œThis workout is intense!” He huffs to his friend. β€œMy heart is pounding!”

β€œHuh?” Says the friend.

β€œOh, sorry, I forgot you’re European. My heart is β€˜kilogramming’.” He replies.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCVisNih
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call second thoughts about plans to visit a Native American sanctuary?

A reservation reservation reservation

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianGregor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
American geologists found the largest deposits of oil.

And some unknown Arab country above it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FullMoon-Horror
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....

.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What is something witches can say about themselves that most americans can not?

"I drive a stick"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darksides
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call an American living in Russia during the winter?

Edward Snowden

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peachho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Why was the Native American bartender fired?

He kept charging $24 for a Manhattan

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Americans eat more bananas than monkeys every year?

Which makes sense, because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nadajoe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an american car that crashed into a body of water?

A Fjord fusion!

I'll see my way out

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skorge963
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
When the American president found out that he was sexually attracted to both men and women, what did he say?

I guess I’m Bi Den

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Why won’t Americans switch from pounds to kilos?

It would cause mass confusion

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fuckleberyfinn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...

'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms Instead of Pounds

But they were very cagey about it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adhoc42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
American president

Why is the new President so old? Hes been Biden his time

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nohopeofanoscope
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
How do you let your Native American friend know he's welcome anytime?

You Cherokee

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SecretButtCrack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Why don't Americans like knock knock jokes?

Because freedom rings

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rockydempsey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
A new car has been launched for American cowboys...

The Audi Partner.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War

For the Confederacy, it all went South from there

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/speedoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the only American State that has ever been married?

Mrs. Ippi.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight

There would be mass confusion

πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alluxin_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report

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