My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
What's the difference between America and an yogurt
The yogurt is capable of growing a culture after 100 years
Why are so many movies made in america?
...Because they like shooting things
You're so last year
Love New Zealand
They used to say America was a democracy.
Did you know that the first French Fries weren’t cooked in France or America?
They were cooked in Greece.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to france from america?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
In America, you can register a domain name at Godaddy.com, but...
What is Satan’s favorite city in America?
What’s America’s favorite animal ?
Trump wants to leave America?
So many items are no longer made in America...
I just bought a new tv and the box said “built in antenna”...
I don’t even know where that is!
What did Captain America say to his wife after taking Viagra?
"I can keep this up all night"
TIL about the 1860's guano wars in South America.
They were bat shit crazy.
It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain
For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.
also in the news:
Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.
Did you know America is run by hippos?
It's what causes all the hippocrisy
With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.
But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.
How do you know Jesus wasn't born in America?
They needed 3 wise men and a virgin
America made Among Us, what’s Europe’s equivalent?
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
How many people live in South America?
When Columbus discovered America and met Indigenous people,
Captain America at his best
England: what are you doing?
America: I’m just getting rid of u
What do you call a Bee living in America
What is the number one cause of divorce in America?
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.
His actions were highly ill-eagle
You know what they said about the war between America and Russia?
Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There'd be mass confusion.
Captain America doesn’t even call them Freedom Fries.
I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, “I Miss America!”
Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.
Should we give Captain America's fight technique a name. I have one.
Why didnt Captain America lift Thor’s hammer untill he needed to?
He didn’t want to steal his thunder
How do you call a bumblebee from North America?
What do you call a bee from America
What do you call a hornet from America?