Caption America
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/subbu9969
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the first French Fries weren’t cooked in France or America?

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Captain America at his best
πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamrdk21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Bee living in America

USB

πŸ‘︎ 250
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
What is the number one cause of divorce in America?

Marriage.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, β€œI Miss America!”

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
🚨︎ report
Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.

There'd be mass confusion.

πŸ‘︎ 195
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Why didnt Captain America lift Thor’s hammer untill he needed to?

He didn’t want to steal his thunder

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
How do you call a bumblebee from North America?

USB

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gimel182
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
Should we give Captain America's fight technique a name. I have one.

Capslock

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geeky_or_nerdy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Captain America vs Wolverine imgur.com/Uhy8rOJ
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xerotrope
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
I went out hiking with a friend once but was drastically unprepared, I was shivering. He said to me, you must be a dwarf from South America

Because you're looking a little chilly

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clearlytrippin179
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
Captain America doesn’t even call them Freedom Fries.
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
I let my water bottle hear the national anthem of america

Now it's a barrel of oil

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arandomredittuser
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter…

Let that sink in…

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
In honor of my father for Father’s Day, I’m going to tack you back to the 1990’s. This is rural southern America please read in southern accent.

Me: Daddy I’m thirsty!

My dad: Hi thirsty I’m Fridy lets go Saturdy and get a Sundy.

I’m sure it’s not original but it makes me laugh to think of how I was making my dad insane asking for a DRIIINNNKKK and he would always come back with this.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kayl6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
Money factories are the only thing in America I understand.

Because they make cents

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMan987
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
Which bus went from Spain to America?
  • Columbus
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
I went to America once and tried to turn on a tap. It was a bit stiff though...

...so I had to faucet

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Captain America humour be like
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AgentAqua7897
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
If The Beauty and the Beast took place in America, "Beauty" would have to be from the South

Because she's a Southern Belle

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagleeatworld
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
If a documentary is made of Harry and Meghan in America would it be called.....

A Royal aBroad ?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/M0nter1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Captain America
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Captain America got point
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamsdhere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Make America Grate Again
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mutedloquacity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why bears in America only have 2 appendages?

Because all American citizens have the right two bear arms

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/corza663_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Why don’t Captain America and Dr. Strange respect each other?

Because there’s no honor amongst Steves.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheXMarkSpot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
Which bus was the first to go from Spain to America?

Columbus

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
England: So why is colour spelled with a 'u' here and without one in America?

America: Because we got rid of 'u' in 1776!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesafman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
In which state, in America, there's the highest concentration of weebs?

Ohio

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RandoMazed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
My teacher wants a report on America....

So I wrote an U-Ess-ay

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kool_Aid_Turtle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
China seems so much more advanced than America....

It's like they're a decade ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know Caesar had a ranch on the thousand islands in north America?

I don't know why he called it a ranch they only grew lettuce.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
Remember how Red Skull was being consumed by fire in the end of Captain America

Guess you could say he needed a fire HYDRAnt

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/888prosperity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that lives in America?

USB

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dhisum_dhisum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Quality pun found in almost every sink across America
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sonofthesolstice
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A recent study in America asked people their preferred butter

48% of Americans chose real butter, whilst the other 51% opted for a substitute.

The study concluded that imitations are only margarineally butter.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a_wild_redditer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
One thing about unions in America...

If there's ever a good time to strike, they know how to picket.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If Falcon becomes Captain America

Does he become Captain Falcon?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mini_Mega
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Once a Bank of America Bank cheque was lying next to a Wells Fargo Bank cheque, they started talking to each other and became friends....eventually, they became so close that they became

chequemates ;)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RajdorUzu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
without the washington monument america would be a pointless nation
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swoswald
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What bus goes from Spain to America

ColumBUS

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaughingHyena12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?

The Star-Spangled Banner.

πŸ‘︎ 184
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that comes from America?

USB

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If there were another country like America, what would it be called?

USB.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bonnetMacaque
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudemanandnewman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
🚨︎ report
America

D:Hey what country was Obama president of.

Me: america

D: hi Erica I'm dad

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yasohi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
There's an amendment in America for people to wear T-shirts.

I call it "The Right To Bare Arms"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dajafo01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the climate like in south america?

It's pretty cold, you might even say its Chile

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bassicallybob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an 18th century bottle of perfume from America

A colongneial

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are snakes in South America so dangerous?

They're all vamanos.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/milkfacedfool
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Jesus not born in America?

Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a Virgin ......

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lilcrazy1995
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...

[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)

Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/travellingby
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
🚨︎ report
How many people live in South America?

At least one Brazillion

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LevelVS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

....because freedom rings.

Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!

Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
🚨︎ report
If you buy a male prostitute in America, you are spending USD to get a US D
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ooy003
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Emma go down to South America during the summer?

She heard it was Chile

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SrslyBroLike
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Visiting Minnesota, family wanted to visit the Mall of America

β€œEhh, you’ve been to one, you’ve been to the mall”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSoulsIdiot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the Native Americans in America before anyone else?

They had reservations

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend was from America.

He lived in Florida. It was 106 degrees Fahrenheit.

His son said to him, "Dad it's too hot in here". The Dad replied saying, "Go down to the corner, it's only 90 degrees."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Donttouchthemouse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why there are no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedome rings.

Yes I am aware I am a day lot. Sorry lovelies!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gildagert
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a modern bee from America?

A USB ;)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tinytimloaf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Europeans walk into a strip club in America. The bouncer asks β€œYou want the smoking or non-smoking area?”

β€œOh we want the hottest girls you got”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the Native Americans the first to come to America?

Because they had reservations

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GetSchwepped
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross captain America and the hulk?

Star spangled Banner

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Real-Nincotic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the snottiest state in America?

Flu-rida!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DenverCav0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How many people live in the largest country in South America?

At least a Brazillion.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rigamarolexq
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the British salty about losing America

They got tea-bagged

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cynrui
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Make America Grate Again!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soul_khyle01
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got an investment in America that pays 0% interest

It makes no cents

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I woke up this morning, looked down at my hands, and heard a voice yell, β€œDeath to America!”

I think I might have terror wrists.

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If marijuana is legalized in America's 49th state, would it then become baked Alaska?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MinnyWild11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
This is America
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alpha-sentinel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why aren’t there any knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings!

Happy 4th of July!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that is found only in America?

A USB

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America?

Elementary, my dear Watson

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
In America, dogs are K9.

In China, dogs are E10.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gloop17
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
We need to add three more states to the United States of America

53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.

πŸ‘︎ 980
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the worst hood in America?

Adulthood

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhisperTickles
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee from America?

A USB

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaRedditAddict
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter.

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steviagal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gertjan-96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that lives in America?

USB

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mefingers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Hulk?

The Star Spangled Banner.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spider1178
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/udrys
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.