My grandfather was captured by the Germans in WWII. Being a high-ranking officer, they kept him captive for months but all he would do is sit in his cell saying "tick... tick... tick...". Their top interrogator was sent in to get important information out of him...

When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather

"vee haf vays of making you tock!"

👍︎ 15
💬︎
👤︎ u/FaultyData
📅︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Sneezing around Dad.

I sneezed and my daughter said, "Gesundheit!"

My husband said, "Oh, hey, that's German for 'virgin', right?"

Confused looks from everyone.

Dad: "Ya know. Goes-in-tight?"

👍︎ 559
💬︎
👤︎ u/busykat
📅︎ Sep 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Sister and I fell for it...

"Why can't you ask a German how high his sunflower is?" "(oh god) Why?" "Cause he'll say, 'ZIS HIGH! http://emptysuit.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/504842c.jpg'"

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/kjBALLAR
📅︎ Aug 09 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.