What do you call a Turkish mechanic?

An automan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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What do you call Turkish cheese?

Cheese Kurds!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wildyyonreddit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What do you call a Turkish robot?

An Auto Man

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:

I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joepeR2086
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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What is a Turkish librarian’s favorite food?

A ssssssshhh kebab.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berlinshit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Showerthought: The turkish airline should be called...

..."Air Dogan"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lassadar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
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The Turkish alphabet has a strange letter: "Δ±"

If you ask me, that's pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/au_travail
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2016
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Did you hear about the Turkish rodent who got a job in politics?

He was Burak rat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fairyoathen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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Got dad joked at social dancing wearing my Turkish flag shirt

Dance partner: "Isn't it a little early for Thanksgiving?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiwiasbro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2014
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Ambushed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, ...

an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

The doorman stops the

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainz4Dayz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Name puns are the funniest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fufulaughter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Why do we eat pie on Thanksgiving?

Because the pilgrims were pious.

... too bad they weren't Turkish

-- credit: my incredibly dad-like friend --

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathto2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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We got a 3 yo dad in our house

My 3 year old brother came up to me (and everyone else in the house several times each) to tell a joke he made up (translated from Turkish but works in English anyway).

3yo: Do you need to go to the bathroom (a question we ask him frequently)?

Me: No

3yo: Are you sure?

Me: Yes?

3yo: Oh, hi Sure!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akc1999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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A sensible pun

I was sitting on a bench cuddling a cat after the end of school. Suddenly, an old man with sunglasses encountered me and made a pun.

Here's the conversation:

  • When will the Japanese say "GΓΌnaydΔ±n"? (means good morning in Turkish)
  • Dunno when?
  • When they learn Turkish...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Kid got me with this one

Tonight at dinner, he was telling me about the book he got at the library. He totally deadpanned it.

Son: I got this game book called Club Penguin at the library.

Me: I've never heard of that, what is it.

Son: It's a place you get free books.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arimarismacon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2016
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If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear, would Greece help?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moliz1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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What was it called when the electricity went out in Istanbul?

Turkish delight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pupikal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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My dad went to get his blood tested

The nurse asked him "You've been fasting, right?" To which he replied: "I've been going pretty slowly, actually."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ktdow2015
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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Leslie Nielsen, the daddiest of them all

>You better tell this captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.

>A hospital! What is it?

>It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simplewall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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Just remembered one from "Don't Try This at Home" in 1998.

Used to be on ITV if my memory serves me correctly. One of the pieces involved going up to random shoppers at the mall and trying to get them to eat sheep testicles. The host approached a foreign looking chap and asked "are you peckish?" to which he answered "no, I'm Turkish".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CradlePouncer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
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So I'm in D.C. visiting my dad.

We've just finished our thanksgiving shopping, when we pass by the Turkish embassy. My dad then exclaims, "I guess that's where we should've gotten the turkey!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItalianStallion23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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My dad just said this one...

My mom: "Look at all that rushing water!"

My dad: "How do you know it's not turkish?"

. . .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axelstall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
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My friend's dad...

Backstory: my buddy's brother is in the military in Turkey and I was asking how he was when their dad dropped this one on me.

  • Me: "How's your brother doing in Turkey?"

  • Friend: "Good but the language barrier kills him, I think they speak Farsi."

  • Me: "I thought they spoke Turkish?"

  • Friend's dad: "Actually they speak gobble gobble!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tman916x
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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Breakfast with Dad.

So my girlfriend goes to her friend's house and spends the night. In the morning her friend's parents always make them eggs, toast, etc. When the friend's dad comes out and pulls out a pack of turkey bacon.

Dad: "Do you guys want any bacon? Here we have some Turkish bacon."

-digs around in refrigerator-

"......and this is the Pig-ish bacon!"

My girlfriend said nobody laughed but her and the dad. Everyone looked at her like she was "lame." I thought it was gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inkredible_Swaq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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What do you call a Turkish car mechanic?

Automan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mahamsoomro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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An Afghan...

...an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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