I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Guess they should read the bio next time
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︎ Dec 28 2020
I just read a story about songs in history and the pitches in which they were sung
For example a march to battle was sung around middle D, Georgian chants were sung in low to middle G, it seems that most if not all pirate chants were sung on the high Cβs
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︎ Mar 31 2021
I just read a fantastic book about gravity.
...I couldn't put it down.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
What do you call people who get paid to read and write simple stories?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that youβd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
My wife told me: βYouβve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!β...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
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︎ Apr 19 2021
Has anyone read the prequel to Hamlet yet ?
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Why can't most sharks and whales read?
They are not part of a school
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︎ Apr 10 2021
I begin to read a horror book in Braille.
Something bad is about to happen I can feel it.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
I read a book about an immortal dog the other day.
it was impossible to put down.
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I once wanted to read a publication about aquatic mammals...
but it remained a book with seven seals to me.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
READ MY LIPS!!
π€¦πΌββοΈdid I just say that with my mask on.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Whenever I read the news
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︎ Feb 28 2021
Ok this needs a bit of context: η« is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I read that 25% of toddlers in America know how to use an iPad.
Whilst 100% of toddlers in China know how to make one.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
Do you know why it's difficult to read what is on my Samsung phone's screen from 20 feet?
Because it's on a Galaxy far, far away.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I just read an article about a German stealth division from WWII that never had a single casualty
Guess itβs true what they say, you can not hit what you can Nazi
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 09 2021
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
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︎ Apr 05 2021
I thought this book I've just bought about farming would be a nice simple read..
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Helen Keller reads βWarning! Electric Fence!β in braille
βWell thatβs not a good signβ she said
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I read about this one guy who twisted his ankle 360 degrees.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Michael Read Charts
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I couldnβt read the name of this bastard who kept sending me letters for the longest time.
Then I learned sign language
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︎ Mar 21 2021
What do comedians like to read?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
How do you call a princess who leaves you on read?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Every night, I read my kids a book about the end of days...
Goodnight Moon is the darkest book I know.
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Did you know that dogs canβt read MRIβs?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Today I read a pamphlet on the history of incandescent bulbs...
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︎ Feb 18 2021
I got a mail saying that I won a million dollars because I could read Maps backwards
I thought to myself, "That's just Spam".
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Bob: I read a...
Bill: What? a
Bob: Great article
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Husband: I should read the book of Ruth again.
Husband: I should read the book of Ruth again.
Me: The book of Ruth? Is that in the bible?
H: Yes.
M: Wait. There are women in the bible other than Mary's?? (Joking)
H: Yes, there are many other women-
M: Nope. Don't believe it. Mary's from top to bottom!
H: That's a very Ruth-less view of the bible.
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Whatsapp has changed its feature previously known as βmarked as readβ
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I just read a long article comparing the different versions of the Bible.
There was a lot of cross referencing.
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Oman! Youβre about to read some terrible stuff.
βI live in Spain without the βsββ.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
Itβs about to Bahrain jokes without the βBahβ.
-
I have a double China without the βaβ.
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Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the βanβ.
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Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
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You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the βJβ.
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You probably canβt Kuwait to stop reading these without the βKuβ.
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Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
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As youβve probably guessed, I donβt even have one Nepal without the βNeβ.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food.
Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the βDenβ, of course.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Just read that FED X are merging with UPS and now will be known as....
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 27 2021
Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother;
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︎ Jun 27 2020
Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, βIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!β
I replied, βI'm on the toilet, please adviseβ¦β
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︎ Jun 15 2020
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I'm working on a device that can read minds
I'd love to hear your thoughts
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Just read an amazing account of a 13th-Century siege.
Just read an amazing account of a 13th-Century siege.
The attackers killed the duke's son, knocking him from the battlements with a peasant's severed head fired from a trebuchet.
It was the first recorded instance of a serf-face-to-heir missile.
From Twitter.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
π︎ 12k
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︎ Dec 18 2020
i began to read a horror book in braille.......
Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.
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︎ Jan 22 2021
I got an email from Google Earth saying it can βread maps backwardsβ and I thought
βThatβs just spam.β
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What do you call a princess who leaves you on read?
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 21 2021
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