Guess they should read the bio next time
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Littlegrayhair
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SmartassBrickmelter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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Ok this needs a bit of context: 猫 is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EthanoicAcid2203
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.

It was about time!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 106
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/robconone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Whatsapp has changed its feature previously known as β€˜marked as read’

To Mark has read

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ssigea
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
i began to read a horror book in braille.......

Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hannahunfiltered
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CeruleanMasquerade
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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Anyone here ever read Anthony bourdains biography on becoming a chef?

It’s quite stirring

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/post-ale
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm working on a device that can read minds

I'd love to hear your thoughts

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir-Fntrf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BoabHonker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/decentname99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I just read a long article comparing the different versions of the Bible.

There was a lot of cross referencing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 715
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.

So instead, a subreddit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 130
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently read an article about how a woman was killed by a falling bookcase.

Morticians say that she only had her shelf to blame.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SilentTempestLord
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of magazines do cows read?

Cattlelogs

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JohnWicksDogSitter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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I never thought The Bumper Book of Farming would be such a difficult bedtime read.

But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cecil_the_wonderdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Did read the book about the elevator?

It was a very uplifting story. (Courtesy of my 10 year old)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theclashwasright
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a man who read a joke so funny that he died of laughter.

After reading it, the authorities all agreed that it was a killer joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/6-Y_FREEREALESTATE
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women

If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kantas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone said I wasn’t very smart because I never read anything. Well it so happens I was reading an article just the other day

It said Juicy.

Turns out it was an article of clothing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Le_Gitzen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I read a story to my daughter about a cow that produced magical golden milk

It was legend dairy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/majintb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,

Hebrews

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

(credit: Groucho Marx)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/4-8Newday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother;

Broco Lee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PantsFreeSince2003
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
So I read a study the other day claiming that β€œhumans eat more bananas than monkeys”

Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 128
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome.

It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 143
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Would you like to read two short jokes and a long joke?

Joke, joke, joooooooooooooooooooke

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/soaraf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, β€œIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

I replied, β€œI'm on the toilet, please advise…”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I like to read news articles about grapes

I like to buff up on currant events.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read the absoute best book about Pearl Jam.

Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read most auto accidents occur within 3 miles from home.

That’s it we’re moving!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/myfirstacctwasbanned
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
After watching me read β€œWar and Peace”, my son asked me, β€œDad, why is the book so thick?”

Me: Well, it’s ......a long story.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.

Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I once read a book about WD-40.

It was in the non-friction section.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Predestinatural
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...

β€œThat’s just spam.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know cats can read minds?

Its pawsible, very pawsible.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RufusHalloween
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I read that Shakira struggles to sleep and get comfortable in bed.

Apparently its because her hips don’t lie

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just read a few facts about frogs

They were ribbiting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why you can't read minds. (Credit: how.how)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do they use at Hogwarts to read PDFs?

A-Dobby.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you call someone who likes to read on the summer?

A bookwarm πŸ›β˜€οΈ

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rozsaszin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Keeps getting better as you read
πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ray3x10e8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Whatsapp has changed it’s feature previously known as β€˜marked as read’

To Mark has read

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ssigea
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read a long scholarly article that compares the different versions of the Bible.

Turns out there is a lot of Cross referencing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 402
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".

Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yupitsnoone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I got an email from Google saying "At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!" and I thought;

"That's just spam!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jahnatan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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