Guess they should read the bio next time
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Ok this needs a bit of context: η« is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.
π︎ 106
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
Whatsapp has changed its feature previously known as βmarked as readβ
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
i began to read a horror book in braille.......
Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Anyone here ever read Anthony bourdains biography on becoming a chef?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
I'm working on a device that can read minds
I'd love to hear your thoughts
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
Oman! Youβre about to read some terrible stuff.
βI live in Spain without the βsββ.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
Itβs about to Bahrain jokes without the βBahβ.
-
I have a double China without the βaβ.
-
Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the βanβ.
-
Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
-
You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the βJβ.
-
You probably canβt Kuwait to stop reading these without the βKuβ.
-
Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
-
As youβve probably guessed, I donβt even have one Nepal without the βNeβ.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food.
Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the βDenβ, of course.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
I just read a long article comparing the different versions of the Bible.
There was a lot of cross referencing.
π︎ 715
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
π︎ 130
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
I recently read an article about how a woman was killed by a falling bookcase.
Morticians say that she only had her shelf to blame.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
What type of magazines do cows read?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I never thought The Bumper Book of Farming would be such a difficult bedtime read.
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
Did read the book about the elevator?
It was a very uplifting story. (Courtesy of my 10 year old)
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
There was a man who read a joke so funny that he died of laughter.
After reading it, the authorities all agreed that it was a killer joke.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women
If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Someone said I wasnβt very smart because I never read anything. Well it so happens I was reading an article just the other day
It said Juicy.
Turns out it was an article of clothing.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
I read a story to my daughter about a cow that produced magical golden milk
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother;
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
So I read a study the other day claiming that βhumans eat more bananas than monkeysβ
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I canβt remember the last time I ate a monkey.
π︎ 128
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome.
It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
π︎ 143
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Would you like to read two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, joooooooooooooooooooke
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, βIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!β
I replied, βI'm on the toilet, please adviseβ¦β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
I like to read news articles about grapes
I like to buff up on currant events.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
I just read the absoute best book about Pearl Jam.
Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
I just read most auto accidents occur within 3 miles from home.
Thatβs it weβre moving!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
After watching me read βWar and Peaceβ, my son asked me, βDad, why is the book so thick?β
Me: Well, itβs ......a long story.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ May 20 2020
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
I once read a book about WD-40.
It was in the non-friction section.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
βThatβs just spam.β
π︎ 7k
π
︎ May 31 2020
Did you know cats can read minds?
Its pawsible, very pawsible.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
I read that Shakira struggles to sleep and get comfortable in bed.
Apparently its because her hips donβt lie
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Just read a few facts about frogs
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Why you can't read minds. (Credit: how.how)
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
What do they use at Hogwarts to read PDFs?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
How do you call someone who likes to read on the summer?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Keeps getting better as you read
π︎ 36
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
Whatsapp has changed itβs feature previously known as βmarked as readβ
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Oman! Youβre about to read some terrible stuff.
βI live in Spain without the βsββ.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
Itβs about to Bahrain jokes without the βBahβ.
-
I have a double China without the βaβ.
-
Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the βanβ.
-
Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
-
You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the βJβ.
-
You probably canβt Kuwait to stop reading these without the βKuβ.
-
Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
-
As youβve probably guessed, I donβt even have one Nepal without the βNeβ.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food.
Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the βDenβ, of course.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
I just read a long scholarly article that compares the different versions of the Bible.
Turns out there is a lot of Cross referencing.
π︎ 402
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
I got an email from Google saying "At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!" and I thought;
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
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